2014 EMMY AWARDS ANALYSIS! "BREAKING- Yawn. BAD", "MODERN FAMILY", SETh-, sleepy MEYERS, and-eh, other people who won and loss, and weren't entertaining.

Well folks, normally on the day after an Awards show, I would go into a character and talk about some giant conspiracy theory about how all my predictions were indeed correct, but due to outside forces and a giant Academy conspiracy to make sure my accuracy was never revealed, they purposefully altered and switched of the categories, and they may have actually happened- Actually it doesn't. I like playing that charade, but honestly, I don't even want to do that this year. This year's Emmys was just,- there. Actually, it was barely that. They were trying, but Cranston and Louis-Dreyfus had a fun pre-planned sketch, some expected and some unexpected winners, especially in the Miniseries/TV Movie categories; I know when Matt Bomer's name wasn't announced-, well, I'm sure at least three GoldDerby.com editors are still staring at the screen in shock. I can believe Sarah Silverman won, or that she ran up to the stage in that dress which I thought she was gonna fall out of, just in as much shock as anyone else, or that they decided to give her an open mike on live television, but I'm glad she did. I wish she sand that song from her show, but, can't have everything. But let's face it folks, when the In Memoriam segment, and I know it's Robin Williams, and I know it's Billy Crystal, but when that's the most excited part of the show, you're in trouble.

I love award shows, but this may have been he most boring Emmy Awards in recent memory. If anybody came out ahead today, it was James Corden, 'cause sorry Seth Meyers, and it's not all your fault, but nobody's had didn't have a reason to watch his Late Night show, now has a reason, and Mr. Corden, who's taking over Craig Ferguson sooner rather than later, might have a better opportunity in that spot than he first thought. It wasn't just Meyers, there was hardly a sketch or a bit, from anybody that was really, really funny, or interesting. Stephen Colbert, flopped. Sofia Vergara probably should've on that pedestal, it might've been more entertaining. Key & Peele weren't particularly funny. I mean, we chuckle, out of politeness, not out of enjoyment. NBC, should've just let Jimmy Fallon host, or get Jane Lynch, she's on that network now. Or get Neil Patrick Harris off of Broadway. I mean, did you see how his performance at the Tonys, the Tonys that won most everything this year, how he opened with that amazing musical number? The musical number was by Weird Al Yankovich, and I love Weird Al, but, I mean, who are we kidding. It never felt like the Emmys, it was lit oddly, there was barely laughs, it wasn't even on the right night, and fuck the NFL and Sunday Night Football for screwing this up. I hope next year is better, and believe me, I'm the nicest person when it comes to judging these shows, but this really fell flat.

Alright, no conspiracies, no characters, let's just get to the Awards. Let's start easy, "Breaking Bad", won, only the third Drama series to win the Emmy for it's final after "Upstairs, Downstairs" and "The Sopranos", congratulation, they deserved it, they were going to win. And everyone won. Aaron Paul, first actor to win 3 Supporting Actor Drama Series Emmys, ever! That's an unbelievable fact, but it's absolutely true. Anna Gunn, two in a row. And btw, so much talk about McConaughey, could he pull the Helen Hunt and win the Emmy and the Oscar in the same year, Bryan Cranston, his 4th Emmy for this role, amazing, but he won the Tony Award earlier this year, for Best Actor in a Play, for "All the Way", nobody mentioned that rare daily double, and you know, he is one of the best and most respected actors in the business, and nobody deserves it more. Nobody will do more for a role, serious, drama or anything in between than him, and it's an incredible pleasure. Julianna Margulies continues "The Good Wife"'s trend, it's her second win for the show, and it's also her third overall, plus, "The Good Wife" has won at least one acting award every year it's been on the air, proving that cable doesn't get everything.

"Modern Family" tied "Frasier"'s record, they won again, they won Supporting Actor for Ty Burrell, his 2nd, not for Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who- I wish they'd pass the Acting Emmys around on that show. Seriously, I don't get it. They gave one each to "The Golden Girls", they gave one each to the  "Will and Grace" cast, it's just bizarre, especially when-, now I don't think it's a great show, worthy of all these Best Series accolades, I voted for "The Big Bang Theory" this year, but it's a solid show, but if they're gonna give everything else, why are they only giving it, to three actors? (And the kids should be nominated too btw.) Burrell's great, been a fan of his, long before the show, but he won already. Ferguson should've won, and Ed O'Neil, should've won by now.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Bryan Cranston were funny as Hell. I hope Amy Poehler gets the Bryan Cranston treatment next year, and gets the farewell Emmy, but "Orange..." didn't win anything tonight, not even Jodie Foster, Julia won again, she's great, she's funny, I don't like "Veep", but no arguments from me on this one, and you know what, Allison Janney,- Chuck Lorre's "Mom", I didn't think was that great, but if you want to know why she wins 2 Emmys this year, and 6 overall, watch this clip below, 'cause here's thing, everyone in Hollywood, knows exactly how good an actress she is. And I don't just mean, they can get that one take correctly on camera, enough to edit around, I mean, just how amazing an actress, she is: do me a favor watch this clip below, and you'll get it:



Like that. I swear, she's gonna win a lot of awards for anything she does, because she's really that good. Now, Jim Parsons, is also that good, deserves it again, the more you know about acting the more amazing that performance is; I think he submitted the wrong episode, but you know, he's in another league. He's got 4 now, maybe, he'll do what Candice Bergen, John Larroquette, Jeremy Piven, and many other have done, and take his name out next year, when they get four in a very short time. We'll see, I'm betting he will, and besides, he's got enough money, Meyers was right about that, and the show is still great, it really is funny as all Hell even now, and especially considering where his character left off, it's gonna be very interesting to see what happens to him next year.

Louis C.K. won his 6th Emmy, all of them have been for Writing, more than acting, don't know why. Another cool Emmy win, Steven Moffat winning for "Sherlock", one of many wins- they won nothing, the previous three season, including the Creative Arts, they won 7 Emmys this year, unbelievable upset, including Lead and Supporting Actors for Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, I knew Freeman would win something, but I had him in the wrong category. Did not win Best TV movie, that went to "The Normal Heart" as expected, although shut out of acting and writing, shockingly. "Fargo" only winning Directing and Miniseries, and "American Horror Story: Coven", Jessica Lange, and Kathy Bates, two upset wins, there's a lot of good over-the-top acting on that show, and it seems like the Emmys respond to it. I wish they respond and give one to Sarah Paulson, and retroactively give it to her for "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip", but other than that.

Variety Special, the Tonys, and Sarah Silverman, again, pulling the huge upset of Billy Crystal, even Ricky Gervais was a little surprised, and good for her; I'm a huge fan. She had one Best Song Emmy for "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" and now, she's got a real Writing Emmy, and now that they mentioned, her writing on that Stand-up special, was some of her very best. I'm not just talking about the song with the her "Cunt" said 30 or 40 times in a row, there was some really special material there.

Great to see Jay Leno- He should've hosted this also, he wasn't doing anything, and he was funnier in one line, than in most of the other comic on the show; I couldn't believe how happy I truly was to see him. Or how silent it was when "The Amazing Race" once again proved that when they lose "Reality-Competition" it's a fluke, they won again, and everybody was dead silent, and bored, and "The Voice" lost. Expect more "The Amazing Race" wins, unless they finally come to their senses and give the award to "Project Runway" finally. Doubt it, but, hopefully that'll.

Well, somebody can find out my percentage, Emmy Weekend  Mondy, is over, thank god. But that said, this really was, the slowest-feeling and most uninteresting- It wasn't bad. But bad, I could handle. No opening sketch, Meyers was stiff as a bored and made us bored as stiff, even when there was huge upsets, except at the end, we we're just, kinda sitting watching, going "This should be better shouldn't it."

Yes, it should, and once again, I love award shows. But yes, it should've been better. Congrats to the winners and nominees though, there was a lot of good television that was honored tonight, and the show frankly, wasn't worthy of honoring them. Little advice NBC, Kathy Griffin's still on your Bravo payroll, she's available to host too.