So, is "Euphoria" accurate? Man, I hope it isn't, but I imagine that it absolutely is for some out there. It's one of those shows that I fear is more accurate to the true experience of some people I knew growing up, including some incredibly close friends of mine, who I suspect hid things from me that were probably far worst then I realized, or I just forced myself to blissfully, just not be aware of, because I didn't want to know. In hindsight, I don't know which was worst. It's not like I feel like if I absolutely knew characters like the ones in "Euphoria" and knew exactly what they were going through and how troubled they actually are that I would even be able to handle it. I feel like I would've tried though. I know I would've in some cases in fact.
In fact a lot of friends of mine kept almost all of their vices away from me. Sometimes I didn't want to know, other times I think they figured, arguably correctly, that I wouldn't see them the same way afterwards. I'm not even necessarily talking about drugs, although I am mostly..., so yeah, drug addictions of any kind; I know people obviously who partake in occasional drugs, some of which used to be illegal but now aren't, some of which still currently are..., but I don't get them, at all, but it goes far beyond that for me.
So, this same friend of mine who had the bad relationship, she would constantly ask me to go out with her and some of her friends, almost of whom I thought were pretty questionable, at least at first I thought that, they probably weren't but even if I thought some of them seemed okay in certain situations, I rarely went. In fact, I didn't attend, any dance, any party, much of anything in high school, which definitely seems different from the characters in "Euphoria" all of whom seem to go to every even somewhat social event in their immediate vicinity..., even the ones who, I relate to the most, when they are out and about, matriculating through these contrived get-togethers, my first thought is, "Why are they doing that?", 'cause frankly I never would've and the few times I actually did try to do something of that sort, it never felt right to me.
I'm trying desperately to explain this in ways that others would understand, but...-, I know some of you are just not gonna get it. You'll think or say something "Why didn't you just go out?", like it's a thing I can just naturally do, but, it's not. I'm genuinely still amazed I was as social as I was, and a lot of the times, the circumstances had to play out perfectly not just in my life, but in my mind, in order for them to occur. I mean, I attended one or two or my aforementioned friend's soirees in her house, and even then it took like, a couple years of her convincing me to do that. YEARS! Seriously, years. And it wasn't even the parties in this show, it was the regular boring party that you'd find in an Alessia Cara song, only with less of everything going on.
I've joked about how my mother once forced me to go to Disneyland as punishment before..., here's the thing, that's 100% not a joke. It was the Senior Class Trip, apparently people were going, I didn't think it was a big deal so I didn't tell my mother about it, and she found out about it. I don't remember how; I think she looked it up on the school's website after I threw away my report cards and then suddenly, I'm forced to go. I didn't get wasting the $90 but whatever, I was now forced to go. To Disneyland. As punishment. (I mean, I'm not Umberto Eco or Michael Crichton or anything; I didn't naturally hate Disneyland. I'm not big on roller coasters I guess, but no, I didn't get it.)
Perhaps this is all why I'm utterly fascinated by something like "Euphoria", it feels like I watch it the same way I watch...-, no not even watch- This show feels like how I listen to other people talk, the few times I try to talk or have a conversation with others outside of those closest to me, and I find myself wondering about their lives and listening to whatever they feel like talking about.
Maybe, I'm just not capable, of actually experiencing, euphoria. Not the show, the feeling. That's what the show's title comes from, the positive emotional, usually artificial feeling of extreme joy and happiness that, in this case, supposedly an addict gets from their high. Sure I can probably try a few of these drugs and see for myself, but...- (Sigh) actually, you know how people say they "experimented" with drugs and such...? I-, I hate that term. What do they mean they've "experimented", like they followed the scientific method when they do a line off the bathroom sink? Fucking stupid term. I know, I can't fully understand or appreciate what a drug user or addict goes through if I myself haven't gone through that kind of addiction myself, or even if I haven't used personally, but it's not like, we don't know what drugs do to us already. The experimenting happened already, and the data been reported on and verified multiple times; you're not experimenting to see for yourself, you're just using. And I don't have an issue with that per se, but call it what it is.
Also, they better not break up Rue and Jules! Not anytime soon anyway!