Wednesday, December 30, 2020

THE 9TH ANNUAL ONE-YEAR-LATER AWARDS! Honoring the Best in Cinema from the Year Before. (Sorry for being a year behind with the OYLs this year, again.... [sigh])

(David presses record) 

Good Evening, Everyone, and welcome, to the 9th Annual One-Year-Later Awards! Honoring the best in cinema from the year before, or the year before the year before in this case. Again.


Anyway, thanks to COVID-19 and everything that's gone wrong in 2020, we're just gonna get over with like we did the nominations. 

(Motions to the side of the desk)

I got the envelopes right here. We're gonna start with the first category. Outstanding Makeup and Hairstyling. And I should have this set up to go through the nominees here....

(Looks intently at screen while fumbling with mouse)

there we go.

(MONTAGE of nominees plays)

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs-Makeup by Christien Tinsley, Corey Welk and Rolf John Keppler; Hairstyling by Matt Danon
Black Panther-Makeup: Joel Harlow, Ken Diaz and Sian Richards;  Hair: Camille Friend, Jaime Leigh McIntosh and Louisa V. Anthony
BlackkKlansman-Makeup: Martha Melendez; Hair: LaWanda M. Pierre Weston and Shaun Perkins
Bohemian Rhapsody-Makeup/Hair: Jan Sewell, Charlie Hounslow-Smith and Rebecca Cole; Makeup: Mark Coulier; Hair: Julio Parodi
Border-Makeup: Goran Lundstrom and Pamela Goldammer; Hair: Sara Englund and Johanna Ruben
The Favourite-Makeup/Hair: Beverley Binda, Samantha Denyer, and Nadia Stacey
Mary Queen of Scots-Makeup/Hair: Jenny Shircore, Hannah Edwards and Sarah Kelly; Makeup: Jessica Brooks; Hair: Marc Pilcher 
Never Look Away-Makeup/Hair: Anett Weber; Makeup: Matteo Silvi, Maurizio Silvi and Linda Eisenhamerova; Hair: Marco Perna and Aldo Signoretti
Vice-Makeup: Kate Biscoe, Greg Cannom, Chris Gallaher, Ann Pala Williams and Jamie Kelman; Hair: Patricia Dehaney 

(Grabs top envelope) 

And the OYL Award goes to, 

(Open envelope) 

The team from "VICE". Kate Biscoe, Greg Cannom, Chris Gallaher, Ana Pala Williams, Jamie Kelman and Patricia Dehaney!

NOT PICTURED: Chris Gallaher and Ana Pala Williams

(David claps his hands for a moment while the photos appear on screen, finishing after it cuts back to him.)

Well, normally we'd have some music play, and there'd be an audience cheering and we'd hand out the awards and...- Man, even fake award shows feel weird during COVID. 


Alright, next award. 

(Grabs top envelope)

Best Original Song. Here are the nominees. 

(David clicks mouse)

"When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings"-The Ballad of Buster Scruggs-Music & Lyrics by Gillian Welch and David Rawlings
"A Cover is Not the Book"-Mary Poppins Returns-Music by Marc Shaiman; Lyrics by Scott Wittman
"The Place Where the Lost Things Go"-Mary Poppins Returns-Music & Lyrics by Marc Shaiman; Lyrics by Scott Wittman
"Dancing Through the Wreckage"-Served Like a Girl-Music & Lyrics by Linda Perry and Neil Giraldo & Pat Benatar
"Shallow"-A Star is Born-Music & Lyrics by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando and Andrew Wyatt

Alright, the OYL goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"Shallow"! from "A Star is Born".

(David claps his hands again, less loudly this time as the pictures go on the screen. He stops before he returns to them.)

Alright, next up, ummm....

(David grabs top envelope)

Ah, one of the big ones. Here are the nominees for Best Supporting Actor.

(David clicks mouse)

Steve Buscemi-"The Death of Stalin"
Steve Carell-"Vice"
Adam Driver-"BlackkKlansman"
Armie Hammer-"Sorry to Bother You"
Oscar Isaac-"At Eternity's Gate"
Michael B. Jordan-"Black Panther"
Sebastien Koch-"Never Look Away"
Oliver Masucci-"Never Look Away"
Henry B.J. Phiri-"I Am Not a Witch"
Linus Roache-"Mandy"

And the OYL Award goes to... 

(Opens envelope)

MICHAEL B. JORDAN for "Black Panther"!

(David claps hands a few times and stops early as the photo pops up.)

I don't know whether to keep clapping after each of these or not. It seems like I should do something, but I don't want to keep clapping like an idiot. Oh well... the next category is-eh, Best Production Design, I think.

(Grabs envelope on top of pile.)

Yep, Production Design. Here are the nominees:

(Pauses for a moment while looking intently at the screen before clicking the mouse.)

Black Panther-Production Design by Hannah Beachler; Set Decoration by Jay Hart
BlackkKlansman-Production Design by Curt Beech; Set Decoration by Cathy T. Marshall
Crazy Rich Asians-Production Design by Nelson Coates; Set Decoration by Andrew Baseman
The Favourite-Production Design by Fiona Crombie; Set Decoration by Alice Felton
First Man-Production Design by Nathan Crowley; Set Decoration by Kathy Lucas
Isle of Dogs-Production Design by Paul Harrod and Adam Stockhausen; Art Direction by Curt Enderle
Mary Poppins Returns-Production Design by John Myhre; Set Decoration by Gordon Sim
Never Look Away-Production Design by Silke Buhr; Set Decoration by Julia Roeske and Yvonne von Krockow
Roma-Production Design by Eugenio Caballero; Set Decoration by Barbara Enriquez
Sorry to Bother You-Production Design by Jason Kisvarday; Set Decoration by Kelsi Ephraim

The OYL Award goes to...

(Opens Envelope)

"BLACK PANTHER". Hannah Beachler and Jay Hart!

(David claps hands again.)

Alright, next category. 

(Grabs top envelope)

Best Editing. There are ten nominee-, I've been forgetting to do like, the official, intros to these things, haven't I? There are ten nominees, the maximum, in the category of Best Editing. The nominees are...

(David clicks mouse)

Black Panther-Debbie Berman and Michael P. Shawver
BlackkKlansman-Barry Alexander Brown
Capernaum-Chief Editor: Konstantin Bock; Editor: Laure Gardette
First Man-Tom Cross
The Guilty-Carla Luffe Heintzelmann
Never Look Away-Patricia Rommel; Co-Editor: Patrick Sanchez-Smith
The Other Side of the Wind-Bob Murawski and Orson Welles
A Quiet Place-Christopher Tellefsen
A Star is Born-Jay Cassidy
Vice-Hank Corwin

(Opens envelope)

And the OYL Award goes to... Christopher Tellefsen, for "A QUIET PLACE"!

(David claps again until photo fade out.)

I think he's been nominated before, and this is his first win? Yeah, we couldn't afford the announcer guy that knows the statistics this year. Also, it seems kinda pointless this year to have him for this. 

(Deep Sigh)

Anyway, what's next? 

(Grabs top envelope)

Best Documentary Feature. There are ten nominees, the maximum, in the category this year, and here are the nominees: 

(David clicks mouse)

Call Her Ganda-Director/Producer: PJ Raval; Producers: Kara Magsanoc-Alikpala, Marty Syjuco and Lisa Valencia-Svensson
Divide and Conquer: The Story of Roger Ailes-Director:/Producer: Alexis Bloom; Producer: Will Cohen
McQueen-Director/Producer: Ian Bonhote; Co-Director: Peter Ettudgui; Producers: Andree Ryder, Nick Taussig and Paul Van Carter
Of Fathers and Sons-Director: Talal Derki; Producers: Hans Robert Eisenhauer, Ansgar Frerich, Eva Kemme and Tobias Seibert
RBG-Director/Producers: Julie Cohen & Betsy West; 
Science Fair-Director/Producers: Cristina Constantini & Darren Foster; Producer: Jeff Plunkett
Shirkers-Director/Producers: Sandi Tan; Producers: Jessica Levin and Maya E. Rudolph
Three Identical Strangers-Director: Tim Wardle; Producer: Grace Hughes-Hallett
Whitney-Director: Kevin MacDonald; Producers: Jonathan Chinn, Simon Chinn and Lisa Erspamer
Won't You By My Neighbor?-Director/Producer: Morgan Neville; Producers: Caryn Capotosto and Nicholas Ma 

(Opens envelope) 

And the OYL goes to "SCIENCE FAIR"!

(David claps again)

The next award is for, Best Ensemble Performance. This is the award for the Best Performance by the entire cast and is award to all the accredited cast members of a film. Here are the maximum, ten nominees. 

(David clicks mouse)

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs
Boy Erased
Crazy Rich Asians
The Death of Stalin
The Favourite
If Beale Street Could Talk
Never Look Away
A Quiet Place

And the OYL goes to...

(Opens envelope) 


(David claps again, this time starting before the picture comes up and ending after the picture fades out.)

Alright, we're getting there. Next up...

(Looks at top envelope)

It's the weird category. It's the Outstanding Narrative Voiceover, Character Voiceover or Alternative Performance. There are, nine nominees in this category, and they are....

(David grabs at envelope, realizes he forgets to click the mouse, so he hurriedly clicks the mouse.)

Josh Brolin-"Avengers: Infinity War"
Bryan Cranston-"Isle of Dogs"
David Cross-"Sorry to Bother You"
Lily James-"Sorry to Bother You"
Patton Oswalt-"Sorry to Bother You"
Liev Schreiber-"Isle of Dogs"
Sarah Silverman-"Ralph Breaks the Internet"
Phoebe Waller-Bridge-"Solo: A Star Wars Story"
Ben Whishaw-"Paddington 2"

And the OYL goes to...

(Opens envelope) 

DAVID CROSS for "Sorry to Bother You"!

(David claps hands again briefly)

Alright congratulations. We got Casting up next. This award is presented to the film's Casting Director, and here are the ten nominees.

(David clicks mouse)

American Animals-Casting by Avy Kaufman; Voice Casting by Sylvie Yarza
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs-Casting by Ellen Chenoweth
BlackkKlansman-Casting by Kim Coleman
Capernaum-Jennifer Haddad
Crazy Rich Asians-Casting by Terri Taylor
The Favourite-Casting by Dixie Chassay
If Beale Street Could Talk-Casting by Cindy Tolan
Never Look Away-Casting by Simone Bar and Alexandra Montag
Roma-Casting by Luis Rosales
Sorry to Bother You-Casting by Eyde Belasco

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"CRAZY RICH ASIANS"! Casting by Terri Taylor. 

(David claps his hands a few times, but stop early this time.)

Alright. I think we're almost half-way through, not bad. It's nice doing it this way, it's much quicker, much less elaborate. Next up...-

(David checks top envelope in pile) 

There's ten nominees, the maximum, in the category of Best Costume Design. Here are the nominees: 

(David clicks mouse)

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs-Mary Zophres
Black Panther-Ruth Carter
Bohemian Rhapsody-Julian Day
Crazy Rich Asians-Mary E. Vogt
The Favourite-Sandy Powell
In Fabric-Jo Thompson
Mary Poppins Returns-Sandy Powell
Mary Queen of Scots-Alexandra Byrne
Never Look Away-Gabriele Binder
Sorry to Bother You-Deirdra Elizabeth Govan

(Grabs envelope and begins to open it.) 

And the OYL goes to.

(David finishes opening the envelope) 

"Black Panther", Ruth Carter!

(David claps a few times)

That's a good win. Alright, a big one, Best Cinematography! There's ten nominees, the maximum, in the category this year, and here they are. 

(David clicks mouse)

At Eternity's Gate-Benoit Delhomme
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs-Bruno Delbonnel
Black Panther-Rachel Morrison
BlackkKlansman-Chayse Irvin
Cold War-Lukasz Zal
Free Solo-Jimmy Chin, Clair Popkin and Mikey Schaefer
If Beale Street Could Talk-James Laxton
Never Look Away-Caleb Deschanel
Roma-Alfonso Cuaron
A Star is Born-Matthew Libatique

And the OYL Award goes to.

(Opens envelope)

"ROMA", Alfonso Cuaron!

(David claps a few times, before suddenly stopping)

Eh, he wins a lot, I don't need to clap that much for him. Congratulations still. Next up Animated Feature. In coordiance with the A.M.P.A.S. standards, we have five nominees in the category. The award goes to the film's directors and producers. The nominees are: 

(David clicks mouse) 

Incredibles 2-Dir.: Brad Bird; Pro.: Nicole Paradis Grindle and John Walker
Isle of Dogs-Dir./Pro.: Wes Anderson; Pro.: Jeremy Dawson, Steven Rales and Scott Rudin
Mirai-Dir.: Mamoru HOSODA; Pro.: Takuya ITO, Genki KAWAMURA and Yuichiro SAITO
Ralph Breaks the Internet-Dir.: Phil Johnston & Rich Moore; Pro.: Clark Spencer
Tito and the Birds-Dir./Pro.: Gustavo Steinberg; Co-Dir.: Gabriel Bitar and Andre Catoto; Pro.: Daniel Greco and Felipe Sabino

And the OYL Award goes to....

(David struggles to open envelope)

Oh, god-dangit, open.

(Envelope rips awkwardly.)

AH! I hate when that happen. The OYL goes to "ISLE OF DOGS"!

(David struggles to disgard the envelope and doesn't clap 'til after the picture had faded out. He stops shortly after realizing he's onscreen.)

Okay, that looks weird, me clapping randomly on screen; I'm just gonna stop the clapping now. Next up, ah, a big one. Best Supporting Actress; there's the maximum, ten nominees in the categories and they are...:

(David clicks mouse)

Amy Adams-"Vice"
Emily Blunt-"A Quiet Place"
Marina de Tavira-"Roma"
Laura Harrier-"BlackkKlansman"
Regina King-"If Beale Street Could Talk"
Saskia Rosendahl-"Never Look Away"
Emma Stone-"The Favourite"
Tessa Thompson-"Sorry to Bother You"
Rachel Weisz-"The Favourite"
Michelle Yeoh-"Crazy Rich Asians"

And the OYL goes to... 

(Opens envelope)

RACHEL WEISZ, for "The Favourite"

Alright, congrats to her. Next up is, Best Foreign Language Feature.

(David grabs envelope)

Boy that pile's starting to finally wittle down. Here are then ten nominees, the maximum, in the category of Best Foreign Language Feature: 

(David clicks mouse)

The Cakemaker-Ofir Raul Grazier (Israel)
Capernaum-Nadine Labeki (Lebanon)
The Guilty-Gustav Moller (Denmark)
I Am Not a Witch-Rungano Nyoni (United Kingdom)
Mirai-Mamoru HOSODA (Japan)
Never Look Away-Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (Germany)
Of Fathers and Sons-Talal Derki (Syria/Germany)
Revenge-Coralie Fargeat (France)
Roma-Alfonso Cuaron (Mexico)
Shoplifters-Hirokazu KOREEDA (Japan)

And the OYL goes to...

(Opens envelope)


Alright. up next, we got Original Screenplay. There are ten nominees, the maximum, in the category, and here they are: 

(David forgets to click the mouse for about thirty seconds before realizing his mistake and then hurringly clicks it.) 

Capernaum-Nadine Labeki, Jihad Hojeily & Michelle Kerserwany
Eighth Grade-Bo Burnham
The Favourite-Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara
First Reformed-Paul Schrader
Isle of Dogs-Story/Screenplay: Wes Anderson; Story: Roman Coppola & Jason Schwartzman and Kunichi NOMURA
Never Look Away-Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
A Quiet Place-Story/Screenplay: Bryan Woods & Scott Beck; Screenplay: John Krasinski
Roma-Alfonso Cuaron
Sorry to Bother You-Boots Riley
Vice-Adam McKay

And the OYL Award goes to... 

(Opens envelope)


Alright, now, we go to, Best Adapted Screenplay. Again, ten nominees this year, the maximum, and here are the nominees: 

(David clicks mouse)

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs-Ethan Coen & Joel Coen
Black Panther-Ryan Coogler & Joe Robert Cole
BlackkKlansman-Charlie Wachtel & David Rabinowitz and Kevin Willmott & Spike Lee
Boy Erased-Joel Edgerton
Crazy Rich Asians-Peter Chiarelli and Adele Lim
The Death of Stalin-Armando Iannucci, David Schneider, Ian Martin and Peter Fellows
The Hate U Give-Audrey Wells
Lean on Pete-Andrew Haigh
If Beale Street Could Talk-Barry Jenkins
The Wife-Jane Anderson

And the One-Year-Later Award goes to...

(David grabs and opens envelope.)

"BLACKkKLANSMAN", writers Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott and Spike Lee!

Okay, down to only big ones now. Next one is Best Actress. You know, when we'd have presenters, we'd usually try to give descriptions of the characters or the plots of some of the movies and performances that were nominated, something a little more formal then this, but-eh, since we don't have presenters, or a real, fake show, here, I hope you're all okay with just, here are the nominees, again...:

(David shrugs before clicking the mouse)

Yalitza Aparicio-"Roma"
Glenn Close-"The Wife"
Olivia Colman-"The Favourite"
Tyne Daly-"A Bread Factory Part One: For the Sake of Gold"
Elsie Fisher-"Eighth Grade"
Lady Gaga-"A Star is Born"
Regina Hall-"Support the Girls"
Helena Howard-"Madeline's Madeline"
Melissa McCarthy-"Can You Ever Forgive Me?"
Amandla Stenberg-"The Hate U Give"

And the OYL goes to... 

(Opens envelope)


Okay, congratulation. Okay, now onto Best Actor. The ten nominees, the maximum, for Best Actor are...: 

(Slight pause, David clicks mouse.)

Zain Al Rafeaa-"Capernaum"
Christian Bale-"Vice"
Jacob Cedegren-"The Guilty"
Willem Dafoe-"At Eternity's Gate"
Ethan Hawke-"First Reformed"
Stephan James-"If Beale Street Could Talk"
Tim Kalkhof-"The Cakemaker"
Tom Schilling-"Never Look Away"
LaKeith Stanfield-"Sorry to Bother You"
John David Washington-"BlackkKlansman"

And the One-Year-Later Award goes to...: 

(David grabs top envelope and opens it.)


(David starts clapping unconsciously quietly, before realizing he said he wouldn't clap anymore.) 

Oh, dammit. I forgot that I wasn't clapping anymore. Alright, two categories left. Here are the nominees for Best Director: 

(David clicks mouse)

Ethan Coen & Joel Coen-"The Ballad of Buster Scruggs"
Alfonso Cuaron-"Roma"
Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck-"Never Look Away"
Yorgos Lanthimos-"The Favourite"
Spike Lee-"BlackkKlansman"
Adam McKay-"Vice"
Boots Riley-"Sorry to Bother You"
Julian Schnabel-"At Eternity's Gate"
George Tillman, Jr.-"The Hate U Give"
Orson Welles-"The Other Side of the Wind"

(David grabs envelope and rips it open.)

And the OYL Award goes to...-


(David picks up the last envelope. Turns it to the camera to show "BEST PICTURE" written on it.)

Alright, last one. Here we go. The nominees for Best Picture are:

(David clicks mouse. A longer montage than the others have been plays)

At Eternity's Gate
    Producer: Jon Kilik

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs 
    Producers: Ethan Coen & Joel Coen, Megan Ellison, Robert Graf and Sue Naegle

    Producers: Jason Blum, Spike Lee, Raymond Mansfield, Sean McKittrick, Jordan Peele and Shaun Redick

Crazy Rich Asians
    Producers: Nina Jacobson, John Penotti and Brad Simpson

The Favourite
    Producers: Ceci Dempsey, Ed Guiney, Yorgos Lanthimos, and Lee Magiday

The Hate U Give
    Producers: Marty Bowen, Wyck Godfrey, Robert Teitel and George Tillman, Jr.

Never Look Away
    Producers: Quirin Berg, Christiane Henckel von Donnersmarck, Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, Jan Mojto and Max Wiedemann

The Other Side of the Wind
    Producers: Frank Marshall, Filip Jan Rymsza

    Producers: Nicolas Celis, Alfonso Cuaron and Gabriela Rodriguez

Sorry to Bother You
    Producers: Nina Yang Bongiovi, Jonathan Duffy, Charles D. King, George Rush, Forest Whitaker and Kelly Williams

Oh-kay. That actually was cool. Ummm...-

(David bangs on the edge of his desk for a second.)

That's the drumroll for this year.

(David picks up and opens the "Best Picture" envelope.)


Congratulations to the winners and nominees. Sorry for all the delays, and hopefully, soon enough I'll catch up and actually do these One-Year-Later awards in a decent time period and also, when we're healthy enough to actually do a real, fake awards show. G'night, everybody. 

(Tsk) Sorry there's no outro music this time....

(David presses stop)

(David presses record)

Dammit, I forget I have to read the legal stuff now....

(Clears throat, picks up printed sheet of paper to read from) 

All votes tabulations are done by the in-house accountants of David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews". The results of those tabulations are kept secret until the envelopes are opened on the night of the show. 

The ONE-YEAR-LATER Awards are a David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews Production. 

In association with Midnight Green Studios. 

Okay, now I think we're done. 

(David presses stop.)


Michel Birtel (1968-2019)
NOMINEE-BEST DOCUMENTARY-"Waiting for Superman" 

KIM Ki-Duk (1960-2020)

John Sessions (1953-2020)

Isao Takahata (1935-2018)
WINNER-Best Animated Feature-"The Tale of the Princess Kaguya"
NOMINEE-Best Foreign Language Film-"The Tale of the Princess Kaguya"
NOMINEE-Best Animated Feature-"The Red Turtle"

Orson Welles (1915-1985)
NOMINEE-BEST DIRECTOR-"The Other Side of the Wind"
NOMINEE-BEST EDITING-"The Other Side of the Wind"

Audrey Wells-(1960-2018)

Eric Zumbrunnen (1964-2017)

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