Wednesday, March 9, 2016

THE TOP TEN MOST UNDESERVEDLY OVERPLAYED SONGS ON CLASSIC ROCK RADIO! (Yeah, I'm doing another music blog, sorry, but it's on my mind, I'll go back to Film/TV soon enough)

Okay, I have sporadically done pieces on music in the past, some more recently than others, but I do wish I could explore it more often and more thoroughly, but it isn't my field of expertise. (Not that I'm the most experts of experts when it comes of film, although I do play that part quite well, if I do say so myself.) I have, some experience with music, like nearly every teenager, I tried to learn guitar, failed miserably, and I got some acclaim by writing lyrics. I've got two hundred or so songs as a lyricist, and almost three of those songs might actually be good. Maybe, three. Eh, I don't really look back much on my attempts to become Bob Dylan that highly; it's better that I went into film, let's put it that way.

That said, I've mentioned how I grew up in the late nineties, and was very much into the post-grunge Lilith Fair movement/era, and I still am, but sadly, for reasons that I will never truly understand, we basically abandoned most of that music at the turn of the century and instead, we listened to.... well, crap. Pop music was crappy boy bands and teen divas, (BTW, can we stop using the word "Diva", unless, we're actually talking about a "diva", from now on. Not all female singers and/or female pro wrestlers or female hustlers are divas!) rock and roll, had basically become non-existant in the spurge of rap-metal, or new metal as it's apparently called now, which, we eventually did get rid of but yeah, I have a hard time being inspired by too many more rock bands, not that there aren't any successful rock bands anymore.

I know what some of you are thinking then, what about rap music? (Deep breath) Look, I try, I really do, but as hip-hop turned into gangsta rap in the early nineties, not that I was that inclined to enjoy hip hop much, but I really found myself disconnected and confused by that genre. Too many times, I'd hear those rappers talk about, how they're depicting the realities of their world, or that they weren't actually committing the crimes in their songs, but were creating this world, and this image, and then, half of the artists who said that, would then eventually get arrested for the crimes they rapped about at some point, and then this fictional feud that began between the hip hop magazines eventually led to two real deaths, and...- ugh, look, rap music, I'm not inclined to like it to begin with, but even if I take that out of it, all I really see with the genre, most of the time, is, hypocrisy. I don't hate all of it, but I'm probably still the only person who's out there still waiting for this fad to end. (And I really don't like how it seems like every pop song nowadays has a rap verse or four on it, even if the main artist isn't a rapper. Seriously, why would I want to hear a rapper if I say, buy a Madonna CD? I want to hear Madonna goddamn it, and last I checked, Madonna isn't a rapper! Well, not a good rapper. [Yeah, "American Life", yikes. She really shouldn't do songs with the word "American" in the title. I do like most of Rebel Heart though, even if about four songs too long)], and while I've tried and somewhat started to come around, there's a giant part of my psyche, will downright refuse to accept the fact that the guy who dig "Big Pimpin'" is in any way talented or important or anything more than an overblown irrelevant hack, no matter how much I like "Empire State of Mind". So yeah, rap is a touchy genre to me, it's got a chalky bad taste in my mouth, no matter how much water I drink to ease it down, sorry.

So, what does that leave me. Well, while I am really trying to listen to more of the pop stations and try to at least catch up and be aware of who's out there, and it's nice to know that there are great artists out there again, I-, I can't quite force myself to embrace modern music, full-heartedly, so usually when I'm listening to music, I usually end up listening to classic rock.

Now, why am I bringing this up now? Well, recently during a particularly frustrating time in my life, (Aka, no computer, no electricity and all I had was a battery-powered radio for about a week and a half, 'cause somebody paid for gas instead of electricity! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  Sorry, but yes, I spent a lot of time more than normal recently listening to the radio. Now, I listened to a lot of pop music too, but yeah, them playing "Stitches" once an hour on the hour, or "One Call Away" twice an hour, grrrrr, 'til you want to shove an electric turkey cutter into your ears, will make me switch back to the classic rock stations, pretty damn quickly. I mean, why not when you think about it? It's classic rock, all the best of music, so you'd got, I don't 40-50 or so years of music to pick from, so you can hear the best of the best of the best, you know it's gonna be something good, something you can jam and zone out too, something rich and nourishing, etc. etc. Why doesn't everybody listen to classic rock, really? Listen to the modern station that basically only plays Top 40, whether it's good or crap, or something with more options and greater quality of music to play, and it's proven the best of the best!

Well, most of the time, they play the best of the best. Yeah,  you see, even with all those options and possibilities, from the biggest hits to the most acclaimed underground, across dozens of rock'n'roll subgenres, and yet, sometimes, not necessarily bad songs, but, there's definitely some songs that get, way, way, waaaaaaaay too much play, even today on classic rock radio. You see, rock radio, like, in the "WKRP in Cincinnati" sense, doesn't really exist anymore. DJ's aren't actually disc jockeys anymore, they basically talk in-between songs that are played on a computer, and usually from a long, albeit pre-determined list. It's not as bad as Top 40, but you know, radio stations, are basically owned by, I don't know, three or four major companies, and yes, there playlists are often interconnected. I won't give out names but I once worked with someone who worked for a local radio station, she did the traffic reports everyday, for about six different stations. Each station, she did a slightly different character and tone of voice, and pattern, based on which radio station she was doing. The rock voice would be different from her Top Ten voice, which was different from her smooth jazz voice, which was different from her rap voice, etc. etc. All the radio stations are actually in the same building and yada, yada, yada, you see, classic rock stations, basically run the same patterns as other stations, so maybe it's time, we take a closer look at the classic rock radio stations, 'cause A. they do count and matter, hell, if you check the Billboard Rock Songs chart, right now, "Hotel California" is in the Top 20. I am not kidding, look it up below:

Yeah, they count them, still. And B., while I couldn't find classic rock charts on Billboard, there are places that keep track of those as well, which songs from the past are played the most each week, and yeah, going over some of those lists, and also asking for some help and recommendations from a few friends who do know music a little more than me, I think, it's time to put take classic rock radio, or whatever the modern form of radio is/will be in the future on notice and call them out for playing some songs a little too much that, perhaps, they really, really shouldn't. So, yes, after taking a few weeks, some of it voluntarily, to look through classic rock radio, I think it's time to call them out, for playing some songs a little too much. That's the basis for this, it's not necessarily bad songs, or whatever, but songs that, are constantly being played on classic rock radio, that don't deserved to be played as often as they do. Most Undeservedly Overplayed Songs on Classic Rock Radio.  Here we go, and I promise, the next time I do a Top Ten, it'll be a reader's choice what subject I do, and this is an anomaly, I'm not gonna switch to music permanently. Alright? Cool.


Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, one more thing. Um, I'm gonna have to define what qualifies as "Classic Rock" here, 'cause sure as hell, that argument will start if I don't. Okay, I've heard multiple definitions on what qualifies as "Classic rock", or for that matter, what qualifies as rock'n'roll and what doesn't. I've heard, 20 years old makes it classic, I've heard that it needs to be backbeat that, or pop music and rock music aren't the same, rap music doesn't count,- ugh! Okay, um, there's definitely a few songs that I hear on classic rock, that, really aren't or shouldn't be classic rock, because, as far as I'm concerned, they came out yesterday. (Why is "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls eligible for this list, seriously!) Okay, but for the purposes of this discussion, in terms of what's classic, I'm going with, the year 2000, just for sanity's sake, from the beginning of rock'n'roll, whenever you want to claim the genre started, whether it's Elvis or Little Richard or Robert Johnson, or Alan Freed created the term, whomever, whenever, from the beginning of that, to 2000, although spoilers, you're probably not gonna see too many songs any older than maybe, 1989, but I'm using beginnings of rock'n'roll to the year 2000 as the standard. Now, what music qualifies as rock'n'roll?

Okay, tougher question. Since I am, such a classic rock-centric person, I tend to look at the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame and whatever their standards are/end up being/becoming based on who's in and who will eventually get inducted there, which I think is a good standard. Might not be the greatest or most accurate, but even taking that and expanding that to a broader perspective, basically the only modern music that I don't consider rock'n'roll, is what I would call, "Crooner" music. I mean, classical, sure that doesn't count, No Mozart or Yo-Yo-Ma on this list but basically, if you kinda came from that big-bang era or basically just sing standards or the modern equivalent thereof, you pretty much are not rock'n'roll, no matter how popular or even important you are. No members of the Rat Pack are ever going into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and neither is say, Barbra Streisand for instance, people along those lines, basically are nowhere near the genre of rock'n'roll, I guess modern day equivalents, Michael Buble, Harry Connick Jr. perhaps,  maybe John Tesh, is he still around? Hope not (Shrugs) People like that, I don't really consider rock'n'roll, but everything else is pretty much eligible on some branch of the rock'n'roll family tree, at least that's my interpretation. Okay, so sorry if you think, I don't know something's too progressive or too pop to count, or too whatever to count..,- Hot funk, cool punk, even it's old junk, next phase, new wave, dance craze, whatever, it's still rock'n'toll to me, and that's what it is for this list. Alright, everybody! Good, we're counting down....!


Number ten:

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, she's just a lonely girl,
Bum, bum, bum, bum, living in a lonely wor-rrrrld,....

More than a couple people mentioned Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" when I brought up to them privately that I was doing this list and to be honest, it was one that I thought of too. You know, when I was growing up, it was not cool to like Journey. We kinda admitted to ourselves privately that, yeah, they're probably the best, or at least the most tolerable of those cheesy arena rock bands of the late '70s and early '80s, but, yeah, we still kinda disregarded them and the whole genre. I guess, time has eradicated that for some reason, and you know, I'd still rather hear Journey than say Styx or REO Speedwagon, and for the most part, they don't play those bands anymore, except for "Heard it on the Run", which, is fine by me, and to be honest, "Don't Stop Believing", there's a reason it's survived. It is a damn good pop song, and it's stayed relevant. Most people will point to it being used during the final episode of "The Sopranos", but I always think of the beautiful scene "Monster" with Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci falling in love at the roller skating rink, that's one of the most romantic movie scenes I've ever seen. So, I can kinda understand why that one gets overplayed. The rest of Journey's catalog however.....

10 "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)"-Journey

Okay, first of all, if you're not familiar with the music video, watch it, it is ridiculously stupid. Bands of the '70s trying to adapt to the '80s can be funny as hell, and "Separate Ways (World's Apart)" a song which should really be titled, "Someday", is one of their later songs, right before Steve Perry would leave the band for his solo career, most remembered for "Oh Cherry", which is stupid and cheesy in it's own right, but I actually love that song despite that. But "Separate Ways..." it's almost a parody of a Journey song. Apparently it's supposed to be, like most of their other songs a mix of Motownish-R&B romantic lyrics, but with loud guitars, and that's what it sounds like. It's just noise. I barely notice what it is when I hear it. They may have worst songs, they certainly have better songs, but it's just a generic Journey songs. I mean, there's no such place as "South Detroit", but you know, I can forgive that, but look at the lyrics to "Separate Ways", it's completely lacking in details and descriptions. It's about love and heartbreak, in the most cliches generic senses there is. I don't get, other than maybe for camp value, why this Journey song gets so much play. Journey, good not great, definitely an overrated, cheesy, ridiculous band, that might be the best of their contemporaries, but yeah, that says more about who they were competing against than how good they were, even with Steve Perry's voice. And "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" is there most overplayed song.

Alright, number nine, number nine, number nine, and no, I'm not picking that song, or any Beatles song for that matter. ("Come Together" would've been the closest one to make the list btw, but yeah, that's only because it's overplayed, not 'cause it doesn't deserve it.) Um, still, I don't think I'm gonna lose too many people in my audience for lightly beating up on Journey, but this next band, um, I have a feeling I'm gonna get some shit for this one. Look, I know they're going into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame later this year, and I do like this song, but, no, I don't get this band, and god am I sick of this song.

9. "I Want You to Want Me"-Cheap Trick

Eh. I've never really understood what to make of Cheap Trick. I don't hate the band by any means, but I never understood why they're supposed to be so good either. In Japan, where they're way bigger than they ever were in America, they're often referred to as "The American Beatles". I'd probably argue either The Eagles or The Beach Boys deserve that title more, but I guess I kinda get it, but there was always something a bit off about them. Even their supposedly best song, "Surrender" is just strange to me. I'm not exactly the most rebellious person of all-time, (Although some would disagree with that statement) but seriously, what kind of rock'n'roll band makes a song about how great your parents are?! What the hell, am I supposed to do with that? That was their most famous song when I was young, but in recent years "I Want You to Want Me", is pretty consistently played on classic rock radio, despite not even really being a big hit in America at the time of it's released. It's grown in popularity since however, and it is probably them at their best, as in, this is the most where Cheap Trick comes off as a legitimate garage rock band. I guess the most obvious comparison song is The Romantics "What I Like About You", 'cause neither song is really about anything more than wanting to love someone in a rather direct and general sense, but I much prefer listening to The Romantics fifteen times a day. "I Want You to Want Me" grows tired on me, very quickly. Supposedly, they got their name because when recording their first album and bassist Tom Peterson, remarked at a Slade concert that the band, "Used every Cheap Trick in the book", and I think that's always sorta been my problem with Cheap Trick. They apparently used dozens of different instruments and guitars in their work, and yeah, it kinda feels like, throughout their catalog, it's always manipulation more than passion that I hear, and that's even when they're good. They never felt like they were interesting over-the-top and fake like Journey, or as gritty as real as the punk rock of the era. They were somewhere in between, and I could never really get a grasp on them. "I Want You to Want Me", isn't a bad song by any means, even if it's probably the most basic of lyrics ever written, but I can't really say that I want to hear this song as often as I do. Sorry, but there's gotta be better and more interesting Cheap Trick songs that deserve some airplay too.

Number eight.

Okay, I normally like romantic rock songs, especially ones that really do have a sweeping romantic vibe to them, but I-eh, I can't quite figure out what it is with this song, but I definitely have gone through numerous periods of just getting sick of hearing this song over the years.

8. "Two Tickets to Paradise"-Eddie Money

I never hear Eddie Money's name brought up anymore; they still play his music all the time, and I guess he must've always been around and been big; he had Top 40 hits in three decades, but, I'd be hard-pressed figuring out where the hell to place him in the rock pantheon. I've listened to some of his less-remembered hits, and I think I prefer them better than some of his more memorable ones. I mean, "Take Me Home Tonight" is a pretty good song; that song inspired the title of a terrible comedy film about the eighties, but yeah that song sounds a bit cheesy today. "Baby Hold On" works pretty well, and that song basically is pretty much the B-side to "Two Tickets to Paradise". I guess, his voice confuses me; I don't really think he was that great a singer, he makes up for it with passion, but it still comes off strangely to me, like if Chris Farley in that chippendale sketch from SNL were trying to sing instead, lotta passion and heart, but he's clearly not right for the job. Still, I hear "Two Tickets to Paradise" c'mon, and I feel disappointed. It feels, a little too soft; half the time, especially if I come into the song late, I think it's the instrumental part of "Layla" until he starts talking. I guess I can think of Eddie Money, the same way I think of Hall and Oates, great act, wrote amazing songs, but would probably only need a Greatest Hits tape of them instead of any of their albums. Plus, I can't really help getting a little disturbed by the lyrics to "Two Tickets to Paradise". I don't know, in my mind, "Two Tickets to Paradise" can just as easily be a euphemism for "one-bedroom motel room for an hour" and suddenly it doesn't become as romantic as it does, drunk on Prom night. I guess this is supposed to be a low-rent "Born to Run", but I'm too much of a Springsteen fan to be able to put up with this for long. It's a good song, but yeah, I have trouble putting up with the song as much as I have.

Okay, number seven is a song from a movie that I can't stand. That's probably admittedly part of the reason why I can't stand this song, but you know, I can't stand "Mannequin" but I love Starship's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now", (Hell, I like Starship in general. I don't even think "We Built This City" is as bad as everyone says it is, sorry Lillian.) so I don't think that's it.

7. "I Melt with You"-Modern English

Modern English were a New Wave British pop/rock band, who have a bit of a cult following but are mostly known in America as a one-hit wonder for "I Melt with You", which got a lot of MTV airplay, as well as being used heavily in the movie "Valley Girl", which, as I mentioned, is a film I can't stand. Maybe it's a Vegas thing, we do live in a Valley, so Valley Girl, oh, and there is a Valley High School here, they often battle there rivals Bayside...m but I-eh, this song is so weird. It's actually quite a weird sentiment, "I'll Stop the World, I'll Melt with you"? That's a gross image to me. "It's getting better all the time" Is it? You're melting though? I don't remember Judge Doom or the Wicked Witch of the West thinking that melting was them getting better. But they did melt alone, I guess. What the hell is this song about?

From Wikipedia: 

Meaning of lyrics[edit]

According to vocalist Robbie Grey, the song is about a couple having sex as nuclear bombs fall.[3]

(Shocked expression) WHAT!?

"...Making Love to you was never second best
I saw the world crashing all around your face
Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace..."

Wait, crashing around face, mesh and lace, it's getting better-, okay, that just makes less sense if that's what the song's about. Damn, British new wavers and their damn focus on sci-fi and horror, fucking crazy. This is just, second-tier A Flock of Seagulls or Simple Minds to me. It's bizarre admittedly, but I get the feeling that people listening to it, don't really realize how strange it is, and just see it as a romantic love song, and I don't think it works either as a story of sex during nuclear war, or as a straight-up love song. It's either too cheesy or too surrealistic to listen to, but either way, I'm always kinda just confused  when I hear this song. It's definitely catchy and annoying in your head, but I don't really think that's a positive in this case. This is the first song on the list that I actively dislike, it won't be the only one.

Number six. One of my closest friends is a very talented musician who I consulted on this, and while she herself is actually a fan of a lot of the genre, most the songs she suggested was hair metal. "She's Only 17" by Winger, "Round and Round" by Ratt, "Love Bites" from Def Leppard, Warrant's "Cherry Pie", and yes, these are all pretty bad songs, but I think for the most part, we've pretty much eradicated most of the really bad hair metal from the airwaves. I mean, you still hear Van Halen every so often, but y'know, even then, you don't overhear "Hot for Teacher" or any of their really bad songs. I mean, you hear Bon Jovi, you might hear Motley Crue, you might hear, "Pour Some Sugar on Me" once in a while, but I don't think it's really that overplayed anymore. We've pretty much saturated most of the really bad hair metal. Most of it....

6. "Here I Go Again"-Whitesnake

I think there's a possibility that this is just locally on my classic rock radio stations, there's definitely a few DJs who seem to still think David Coverdale was the shit, which in of itself is a bit disturbing. Still though, this is a song that, I probably would've had a lot higher on the list, if it wasn't at least a halfway decent song. It's probably the best of the second tier hair metal songs out there. I'd definitely would rather hear this than, Cinderella or Poison or something along those lines, but, let's be clear here, this is a song that's only still getting airplay 'cause of the infamous music video. Tawny Kitaen doing a cartwheel, and, other things on top of a car that proudly people shouldn't no matter how hot it is, Cameron Diaz in "The Counselor". This music video was influenced by every calendar in a mechanic's garage. Alright, now some of you younger people might be wondering if I looked up Tawny Kitaen's name up, but no, I didn't. She became pretty famous for this music video, back when that was actually a thing. Bobbi Brown, Alicia Silverstone, a few others became famous for being the hot girl in music videos, and Tawny Kitaen in particular annoyed me, especially when she co-hosted "America's Funniest People" with Dave Coulier before she got fired and was replaced with Daisy Fuentes, and, oh dear God, why do I remember all this so clearly, like it was yesterday!!! Half of you are probably thinking, "Don't you mean Bob Saget and I don't remember him having a co-host?" and no, I don't. It was a short-lived companion show, starring Coulier before Alanis Morissette ruined that image...-  Look, Tawny Kitaen, she was the Paris Hilton of the late eighties and early nineties famous for nothing, they tried to get her to do a few things, she's hung around and works to this day and I'm probably being mean about her, but yeah, back when you can be famous for being in a music video, she became famous, and because of all the other hair metal babes who became famous, she happened to be in the video with the best song, she still gets airplay. I don't mind this song once in a while, but not everyday.

Number five! There's two southern rock songs on this list. I originally had this song number one for the longest time, 'cause it's way overplayed here, at least it is to me, and also, not to sound like a prude, but listening to it again, the overplay I guess isn't as undeserved as I originally thought, but I think considering the subject matter, I don't really want to hear this song as much as I have been..

5. "Hold On Loosely"-38 Special

38 Special, was somewhere between arena rock and southern rock, and it's lead singer and guitarist is Donnie Van Zandt, who yes, is Ronnie Van Zandt's brother, the late lead singer of Lynyrd Skynyrd and yes, the two bands often toured together. This was 38 Special's first major hit, and probably their most well-known song. This music video btw, was the 13th to be played on MTV, one of their earliest videos in fact. Actually it holds up pretty well, but still, I don't necessarily want to hear a bearded guy with longer hair than mine singing about what to do when you lose that lover you now regret.

"Just Hold on Loosely
But don't let go
If you cling too tightly
You're gonna lose control."

Um, yeah, this song is about masturbation. At least I presume it is. And that's fine, hell some of my favorite songs are about that. "She-Bop" from Cindy Lauper for instance, or hell, I'm probably one of the few men I know who will gleefully and carelessly walks around in public singing The Divinyls "I Touch Myself" and not feel any shame, 'cause it's a damn sexy good song and actually seems erotic. 38 Special, um, I just don't think it's that sexy. At all. Even as a rock song, it's competent but it's not sexy, and yeah, my opinion here, but men talking about masturbation, um, it's not as sexy as when a woman talks about it. Usually, I can think of a couple exceptions but I think even most women would admit that women masturbating is sexier than men masturbating. Look, it's a decent rock song, not a great one, and not one that I need to listen to whenever I turn on classic rock radio. If I went a year or two without hearing it and then suddenly heard it again, I'd probably enjoy it, but yeah, everyday, uh, no.

Okay, number four. You know that old joke about how bands that are named about geographical places are terrible? Um, it's pretty true. Well, I can't say it's completely true, but Asia, Europe, Chicago, Boston to some extent, yeah, I can't really say that I can think of a reason to listen to any of those bands for too long. Um, that said, um, this is probably the one that bothers me the most, probably because it's the song I hear the most and gets stuck in my head the most.

4. Carry On My Wayward Son-Kansas

I'm not big on Kansas, but I can probably put up with "Dust in the Wind" for a few minutes of reflection, but I really struggle understanding why I'm constantly hearing "Carry On My Wayward Son"! I mean, it's definitely an album jam track, and I do kinda like that part of it, but- you know, I'm starting to notice a trend, I hate songs where people are telling somebody not to cry anymore, 'cause, all I can think is, "Why is she crying? Did you make her cry Kansas?" Why is she crying?

"Through my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man....
..."And if I claim to be a wise man
Well, it surely means that I don't know"

So you're a blind, man, but wise man, in the noise-filled confusing illusion of a dreaming emotion ocean, in heaven, what the hell does any of this mean-, Wait, what does this remind me of? Blind man, wise man, mad man, and this is how...-, oh Dear God!

"Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am...."

Oh dear God, this is a Nickelback song. No, it isn't that bad, it's a song that Nickelback stole from and made worst! Oh my God, why does this song keep getting airplay!? Okay, well I'll have to get the vomit out of the back of my throat now, but god, yeah, this song's terrible, worst than I even realized until I looked closely at the lyrics. I guess my best guess about the meaning of this song, is that it's some kind of Odyssey journey, that the main character is reflecting on and still continuing; there's definitely a few Greek mythology references here, but overall, I think this is just hackneyed and awful. Probably the song on this list I hate the most. It's big and loud and catchy and the music mostly is great technically but god this get in your head for all the wrong reasons.

Number three.

"...Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you
Acting on your best behavior
Everybody Wants to Rule the World...."

Hey, is "Dennis Miller Live" back on? No, dammit. This song I gotta admit, is probably my number eleven and Tears for Fears by far, came the closest of any band to making two songs on this list. This is another song that's just overplayed, every single day. I mean, I like the song actually, and yes it does remind me of the times back when Dennis Miller was funny, but um, honestly I don't need to hear this again. It's kinda mockable. Hell, I often replace the lyrics with Liz Phair's "Flower" to the beat, just to make it funny. Try it, it kinda works.

"Every time I see your face
I think of things, unpure, unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
Take you home and make you like it
Everybody wants to rule the world....

Okay, maybe that's just me, but at least I can do something with that song, what the hell do I do with this?

3. "Shout"-Tears for Fears

Ugh, this droning song that just thuds into your brain.

Let it All Out
These Are the Things I can do Without,
Come On
I'm Talking to You
Come On..."

Yeah, yelling or no,  loudly whispering "Shout" at me, is not going to make me listen to you. The original version of this song is six minutes long, and by original version, I mean, there are fifteen different version and remixes that Tears for Fears has put out. Not, other people sampling, just them, releasing this song over and over again. No wonder this song never goes away, and why? This song is just a droll. I normally love new wave, but good god, how is this even a song, 'cause it's sorta got the drumbeat to "In the Air Tonight" in the middle, while it's just thudding subliminal messaging pain throughout the rest? I-eh, no, I mean, who turns on the classic rock station expecting to hear this? Yeah, try listening to this after hearing a Steppenwolf song on the same radio station and say that it sounds right to you. I know, I promised that I do consider this rock'n'roll, but good god, what the hell? There's way, way, way too much of this song everywhere.

Number two! Okay, I swear, I'm not just bashing new wave, but admittedly a lot of it sounds out of place with classic rock. Still, I love the Talking Heads and Blondie and A Flock of Seagulls, even Simple Minds, "Don't You (Forget About Me)" that holds up, even after multiple repeated hearing on the radio and watching "The Breakfast Club" a gazillion billion times, but, John Hughes movies don't always end up with a good song at the end.

2. "If You Leave"-Orchestral Manoeuvres in The Dark

Okay, this song, from a band who's full name is "Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark" or OMD is in fact, a complete ripoff of "Don't You (Forget About Me). It was written in the exact same time speed at that song, 'cause it's the ending song for "Pretty in Pink", the John Hughes movie Molly Ringwald movie that John Hughes didn't direct and isn't as good or as memorable as "Sixteen Candles" or "The Breakfast Club". Like "Modern English" they're a British synth-pop band that's more well-known and regarded in Europe and they are generally well-regarded within the genre, often put on the same pedestal as bands like Kraftwerk and even Depeche Mode, but in America, they're only really known for a couple of hits, this probably being the biggest one, and the one I hear all the time, and-eh.... I gotta be honest, um, the lyrics to this song just annoy the hell out of me. The verses aren't bad, he's talking about a romance that's about to end and he doesn't want it to, but then he gets to the chorus....

"... I touch you once, I touch you twice
I won't let go at any price..."

Um, wait, what?

"...I need you now, like I need you then
You always said we'd still be friends, someday..."

Um... look, this might just be me, but-eh, this song, is a little bit, um, I hate using this term, but rapey. Like, really rapey, I mean, he really talks about this seven year romance, and as far as I can tell though, he's going all Rhett Butler pissed at Scarlet raping on her as she tries to leave. (Yeah, nobody remembers that part of the movie do they?) Where is he touching her, and touching her again, and then not letting go, Jesus goddamn Christ! Why is this such a beloved romance song? I-eh, you know I'm not against songs that talk about or discuss rape, but the way this song feels like it's trying to be romantic, I-eh, yeah, this song just creeps me the hell out. That's really the reason I'm ranking it so high. It's a rip-off of a better song, and just way worst and much creepier, at least to me. And it just gets in your heard, and the more you think about that rapey chorus, ugh. What part of her is he not letting go,- seriously what the hell OMD?! Yeah, I don't think she's going to be your friend any more, that tends to happen when you grab them and don't let them go when they're trying to leave you!

Okay, before I go to number one, I thought I'd bring up other songs that were at least in the discussion.

"Low Rider"-War, I know people have more of a fascination with cars than I do, I guess that's partially why this song gets overplayed. I guess I can be accepting of that, but yeah, it's still overplayed.

"Everybody Wants to Rule the World"-Tears for Fears-Yeah, seriously I almost put two Tears for Fears song on here; this is played way too goddamn much, especially during the election right now, it just depresses me.

"Missing You"-John Waite- "I ain't missing you at all" has to be the biggest and most transparent lie in a song ever. Clearly he's missing her greatly; I guess I kinda admire that about it.

"Green River"-Creedence Clearwater Revival-I could've probably put five or ten CCR songs on this list, but, ah, I can't help it, I can't put Creedence on here.

"Always Something There to Remind Me"-Naked Eyes-Okay, yeah this is overplayed, but it's got a beat, it's about something directly, see Tears for Fears and OMD, this is how you do it.

"Come Sail Away"-Styx- If I did this list, like fifteen years ago, I probably would've had five or six Styx songs on this list, this one being at the top, but I'm pretty happy that nostalgia for them is over with.

"Just What I Needed"-The Cars-I go back and forth between whether or not this is The Cars best song or most annoying song.

"I Will Survive"-Gloria Gaynor- Oh, no way in Hell am I gonna feel the wrath of my readers by putting this on here. I mean, yes, it's overplayed, but, no, I'm not going out on this limb.

"Keep Your Hands to Yourself"-The Georgia Satellites-"Ho hugee, no kissee until I see a wedding ring...", ugh, I hope this isn't the song that made Beyonce think that's how single ladies are.

"Centerfold"-J. Giels Band-Okay, my mind tells me this song is incredibly overplayed, but, goddamn it, I love this song.

"Hot in Herre"-Nelly-Okay, I know this song isn't eligible, but I was still hearing this on the classic rock station, 'cause an advertisement to some, party or something or another, concert or whatever, used this song in the background of the ad. First of all, this song is fucking awful, sorry, Nelly was a huge mistake, but second, why am I hearing it on the classic rock station? You couldn't find a great, fun classic rock party song to play instead?! AGH!

"Summer of '69"-Bryan Adams-I honestly kinda prefer cheesy love song Bryan Adams to this young reminiscent second-rate Mellencamp Bryan Adams.

"Living on a Prayer"-Bon Jovi-Now that we have "It's My Life", I don't really see the need for why we keep "Living on a Prayer" around.

"Mickey"-Toni Basil-I was gonna put this on the list at one point, until I realized that Toni Basil is originally from Las Vegas, which is where I'm at, so, it's possible that this song might only be overplayed here.

"P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)"-Michael Jackson-Just because he's dead now doesn't mean everything he's ever done was great. Or that he wasn't a pedophile making this song extra creepy, not that it was any good to begin with.

"Build Me Up Buttercup"-The Foundation-"There's Something About Mary" really killed this song to me. Also, maybe it's just me but "Buttercup" seems like a weird pet name,

"Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"-AC/DC-I have a friend who doesn't like how all AC/DC songs are written in the same key, which I guess is true, I don't really have that fine an ability, but after hearing some of these other songs on the list more often, I don't really care. I'll take a decent AC/DC song any day over this.

"Everything I Do (I Do It For You)"-Bryan Adams-Okay, not all cheesy love song Bryan Adams gets a pass, but-eh, I don't think this is as bad as people claim. Also, I know I'm in the minority on this, but I actually like the Kevin Costner Robin Hood film.

"Another Brick in the Wall-Part 2"-Pink Floyd-"The Wall" is overrated, "Dark Side of the Moon" and "Wish You Were Here" are better, come at me!

Okay, number one.... what is number one. Well, I didn't want to just limit this to Classic Rock, like, what was playing for the few weeks where I was basically listening to just the classic rock station and not doing anything else. I needed to expand from that and really think about classic rock in general, where it's been and what it's heavily been overplaying for years on end. Which song, really puts an irk in my head when I hear it. Songs that have just been way too overplayed and for no real good reason and seeped into the public consciousness to the point where we're never gonna get rid of it. Ugh, and when I really thought about that, this song, starting climbing up and up on my list, slowly at first, but then, the more and more I thought about it, ugh. Yeah, if I never hear this song in my life, I'll be happy.

1. "Sweet Home Alabama"-Lynyrd Skynyrd

Look, maybe Alabama's nice, I'm sure it is in fact, but god, I heard this song so much growing up that I swore it was my state's official song, and I'm in Nevada! And now I'm pretty sure that "Home Means Nevada" is a better song than this, at least it'd be weirder to hear it on the radio. And look, I love Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Free Bird", untouchable, "What's Your Name", awesome song, "Gimme Three Steps", great rock song, and "Sweet Home Alabama" isn't even that awful a song, but somewhere in my lifetime, it went from "Free Bird" being their best song to "Sweet Home Alabama" being the big overplayed monster, and good god is that a mistake. First of all, it's not even really about Alabama, the song is actually a response to Neil Young's "Southern Man", and it kinda loses it's message about how great the South is. How Watergate doesn't bother him, and how Alabama loves the Governor? Um, the Governor of Alabama in 1974 was George Wallace? That-eh, um,- is this a dis track about Alabama, 'cause it could be, but I can't tell. I mean, it's no coincidence, he immediately tries to bring up the Muscle Shoals Swampers who are awesome btw, but yeah, it doesn't say that much great about Alabama. But, it's so beloved, there's movies made with the title "Sweet Home Alabama", there's Kid Rock songs that mention listening to it forever, while sampling Warren Zevon's "Wherewolves in London", probably 'cause he thinks he's sampling "Sweet Home Alabama", I used to hear this song, every time, my high school had music in the quad for lunch, probably 'cause it was only one of three songs it had, but yeah, a song about how great the South is, as a response to a better artist's song, that doesn't even do that well, by a rock band who's logo has the Confederate flag in it. Yeah, we have overplayed "Sweet Home Alabama" way too goddamn much over the years. There's way too many better Skynyrd songs to justify keeping "Sweet Home Alabama" around in this day and age, that's why I'm putting it at the top. "Sweet Home Alabama" the most undeservedly overplayed song on classic rock radio, and this now ends my half-ass Todd in the Shadows impression. Thank you, let's get back to film and television now.

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