2014 EMMY AWARDS ANALYSIS! "GAME OF THRONES" SET RECORD, VIOLA DAVIS SETS PRECEDENT, "VEEP" UNSEATS "MODERN FAMILY", JON STEWART GETS FINAL EMMYS, and QUESTIONING THE NEW VOTING SYSTEM!

Okay, finally got a computer and am now getting around to writing my notes on, ugh, the Primetime Emmys!

Well, for starters, since I only just got a computer back, and I'm already late for this post by a day I'm going to be copying my notes that I made during the show last night, as I watched the Emmys and the Emmys replay directly after. Hopefully, this will be coherent, however admittedly, on top of being frustrated that I had to sit through this without a computer and that I didn't care about most of the winners; I was also P.O.ed at my Philadelphia Eagles for completely fucking up against Dallas, so a lot of what I wrote, might've been a bit, eh, under undue stress and frustration, so sorry about that ahead of time. Oh, and I really don't care how my predictions went this year, so if you want to look back and see how I did, go ahead and check. I know I got some right, but oh well.

Alright, Andy Samberg's opening was absolutely hilarious, almost made me forget about my goddamn Eagles fucking up! Seriously, what-the-fuck Chip Kelly, how about any running play other than, an end around sweep into the Dallas defense, FUCK! Sorry, I haven't had time to get over that yet. Anyway, the bit was great; the monologue was, eh, more hit-and-miss for me.

Allison Janney's won again, 2nd in a row for "Mom" 7th overall, tied with Ed As-, holy hell, what's she wearing?! She's practically naked in that, and it's too long!

Ah, man, "VEEP"'s winning everything! Well, except Chlumsky, 'cause, well, Allison Janney. Well, there goes "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt"'s best shot at winning, dammit.

"Will Amy Schumer win her first awards for Actress in a Comedy Series" Ugh! How about AMY POEHLER'S WHO'S NEVER FUCKING WON!!!! WTH I swear, the Emmys don't know anything about their own damn awards, or what the people watching them really are interested in! Kudos to Samberg for even knowing to mention Ed Asner! UGH!

Oh, I wish the cast of "Taxi" was here, wth Samberg! Don't mention better ideas than what we actually get on the show! And what's with all "The Jinx..." references, but not one "Going Clear..." references? Just something I noticed.

AMAZON 2
NETFLIX 1

Close game tonight, remember these score will be combined with the scores from the previous nights game, to determine the winner! (Betcha you didn't think only John Oliver would make a "Jeopardy!" reference did ya?)

Oh BOO! I love "Girls"! Oh, BOO! I hate Jimmy Kimmel!

Okay, I like "Transparent" I'm happy for Tambor and especially Soloway but are all the winners of the show going to be so emotional and political. It is a Comedy Series; I watched it, it's funny! It's a dry comedy but still...!

Oh, now you bring up how Amy Poehler's 0 fo 16!

Wow, Lorne Michaels has had a lot of people work for him.

Oh good, Seth Meyers, c'mon give it to Amy Poehler, give it to Amy- oh C'MON, ACADEMY! Jesus Christ, Julia's got you've got SIX, give one to AMY! UGH! Watch this, she'll win next year for "Wet Hot American Summer", I bet. No, she'll be nominated but lose again, 'cause that's what the fucking Emmys do!

Now, "The Voice" wins over "The Amazing Race", despite not being watchable since Season 2, when they started letting the audience vote mean everything, which was what distinguished it from "Idol" and made it good! Stupid new popular vote! (Yes, this is the category I'm convinced it fucked up the most)

Did every other fucking show end with the main characters getting killed?! Why would you ruin that everyone! Well, no need catching up on 12 shows now? Ugh, I'm rewatching "The Newsroom", again that only ended with a side character dying, and was the best show on TV for three years but got ignored by the Emmys EVERY YEAR! (Jeff Daniels, excepted of course)

Oh my God, yes! Amy Schumer having to get Final Draft, yes that's the kind of thing people should know. No, I'm deadly serious, that's absolutely awesome! Best thing said during a speech at the night! That's exactly the kind of thing that someone should let inspiring people trying to get into film and television know about, that you can go from just an idea and a vision and not even have the correct screenwriting software to major Emmy winner and beloved star of stage and screen! I'm so glad she said that!

Well, I guess we knew they were gonna give one of the leaving series a hug at the end; I would've given it to "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" so why not them?

Why is the theme to "Ghostbusters" playing?!!!

Okay, I kinda like how the Writing for a Limited Series was done like the Oscars! They should do that for all the Writing categories! Why the hell didn't they?!

Oh my God, Regina King's been around since "227"?! Jesus! Wow! Well I still think Sarah Paulson's screwed again, but, eh, she's overdue. I'm probably the only white guy my age that remember's "227". That was a good show BTW.

Somebody try that Khalessi thing and see if you get free HBO!

Ah, Bill Murray didn't show up. Oh, that's sad; I wanted to see him. :(

Congrats to Frances McDormand, that latest winner of the TRIPLE CROWN OF ACTING having won an acting OSCAR, TONY and now, an EMMY! Nobody brought that up before did they? Not even mentioned it? (Sigh)

Huh, so Tatiana Maslany & Tony Hale are fighting over beans and then Lady Gaga gives Richard Jenkins an Emmy? Well, at least the Emmys are truly surreal now.

Oh, "Game of Thrones" wins Writing now? Okay, it's over they got the record. G'night folks, nothing left to see here.

Yes, I saw that Margo Martindale didn't show up, but I'm not touching it. The only reason I'm even writing it here is because someone will be pissed if I don't.

Congrats, Uzo for winning for performing in Comedy and Drama and the same charact-er, blah, blah, blah. Okay, they better give it Jon Hamm, 'cause honestly, I don't really care what else happens now. We know it's "VEEP", we know it's "Game of Thrones", let's move on.

Let's see how they fuck up the IN MEMORIAM. Ah, Taylor Negron, Martin Milner; I missed those deaths! Oh, Albert Maysley, ahh. Ah, Jan Hook, Elizabeth Pena, those were sad. Ah, Donna Douglas, Richard Dysart, I missed them too! Jayne Meadows, ugh, I need the internet back; I missed too many of these! Okay, you know what actually, they didn't screw up the IN MEMORIAM this year. It could've been better, but-eh, it wasn't bad this year; I'll take it.

Oh thank God, Jon Hamm FINALLY WINS! "Mad Men" gets it's first and only Acting win! It's about fucking time! (Seriously, how the hell did that happen?!)

Congrats Viola Davis becoming the first African-American woman to win the Lead Actress in a Drama Series Emmy! Well, thank God, now we don't have to pretend the show's any good anymore. That's a relief actually. Sure nominate her a few more times if there's no one else but yeah, let's move on. I do love Viola Davis, happy she's won, but boy that show could've been good and they screwed it up. Oh well.

Aah! MEL BROOKS PRESENTING COMEDY SERIES! Okay, that's AWESOME, point for you EMMYS!

Well, at least it wasn't "Modern Family"! Congrats to "Parks and Recreation" without the likeability or hope! (Frustrated sigh) No, I don't like "VEEP" much; it's funny but it's way too fucking cynical. I had the same problem with "In the Loop" too; I'm not an Armando Ianucci guy.

Whoa, TRACEY MORGAN! Okay, the Emmys, they ended well! So good to see him.

"Game of Thrones" breaks every record, good for them.

Well, alright, final thoughts. Samberg was good enough. Wasn't the best, the show itself was very erratic and mixed.

Honestly, I've been meaning to bring this up before, I couldn't really figure it out 'til now, but I HATE, HATE how they separate the show every year! Separating the show by genres, they have to stop that! First of all, they always start the show with the Comedy category, which is dumb; I would put that later; that's a prime category, all of them! That's the thing, it's not like the Oscars where, yes, who really cares about Sound Mixing and Makeup winners, but every category is huge at the Emmys, at least on the main show and now Comedy is basically, relegated to the bottom like the whole genre is nothing until the very end. The Creative Arts, separate the categories by field, with sporadic Guest Actor Awards throughout, but they do Casting, then Editing, the Cinematography or whatever, that's what they should do with the main show. Do Supporting Acting awards first, then do Reality, and have more-than-one Reality category; I don't care about the time limit, they should do more than one, it's the Emmys, you're already too long, might as well go over, then the Writing noms, then the directing, across the board, then the Lead Acting awards, especially for Comedy and Drama, they're equal to each other, they should be together, and do the Limited Series/Movie Leads too, then the Series Awards at the end. When they separate it between genres it makes it seem like some genres are more important than others, and that's not just stupid; it's not even true. I really think they need this format change! Next year's Emmy producers if it isn't me; (And I'm seriously thinking about campaigning for the job btw) CHANGE THE FORMAT! It doesn't work as well as you think it does, especially with Comedy and Reality seeming completely disregarded. (Seriously, why do they even bother with Reality-Competition anymore; it's just the one award the award they give on the main broadcast, you might as well not even bother. You can argue it's not even the biggest reality category anymore.)

The new voting system; (Shrugs) I'm not crazy about it but it's too early to tell. And I really don't like this sweep voting, especially when they're not even pretending to give a shit who has won in the past and who hasn't, except for Jon Hamm and thank God he finally won. It's fucking ridiculous that no "Mad Men" actor ever won until now, but I had the same problems before so, I don't know. Cause, whatever you think about these awards, and I don't buy that bullshit that (Sarcastic voice) "Hollywood just likes to congratulate itself, wants to honor their own"! Bullshit, why's Amy Poehler's 0-17, why did Angela Lansbury go 0-12 for "Murder, She Wrote", why hasn't.... there's a thousand examples and statistics, but even if you think that, you want to see people who are doing amazing, great work, honored for their work, you know? And when you don't see it, it's really deflating, especially with the Emmys 'cause it's constant and without explanation or even reason half the time. especially when you have others out there who clearly deserve it and they still can't win against good but usually inferior competition. And really the inferior competition part that gets to me, and no, I'm not one that really thinks "Game of Thrones" and "VEEP" are deserving winners. They're good shows, don't get me wrong, it's not when "Lost" won bad; they are good but they've not been the best and it's disheartening. That's the ultimate emotion I think, disheartening. I just hope they don't keep giving every award to these same shows, like the Emmys have this unnatural habit of doing. It made sense, when you know damn well nobody was gonna beat Candice Bergen, 'cause there wasn't anybody better. (There just wasn't trust me. Blair Brown was never winning for "The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd", she just wasn't. Don't remember that show; exactly!)

So, I'm pissed at the Emmys, pissed at the Eagles and overall, I just want to murder people, or to be precise, a few hours after I finish writing this, (Although, it'll be 24 hours before I post this, which just frustrates me even more, UGH! I feel like Charlie Brown, the way I've been using guttural screams lately, AGH!) I'm going to probably become the first person to ever get arrested for playing Tori Amos music too loud at two in the morning!

Oh, before I blast "Little Earthquakes", Julia Louis-Dreyfus, take your fucking name out next year! I'm serious, that's four in a row, at most you should've only gotten two, but that's the limit, okay? John Larroquette took his name out after four, Candice Bergen took her name out after four, Jeremy Piven after three, but four is enough and you already own every damn female comedy acting record out there, I don't want to see your name up for "VEEP" again.

And yeah, fine, Jim Parson, you should've won again this year, but sure, take your name out too; you've won enough; you might as well. But Julia, seriously, you've really won enough now.

Alright, that's it; I'm done, I'll be in Tori-land for the next 7 or 8 hours if you try to bother me before then, you're putting your lives in danger; you have been warned!

(Slams notebook and pen on desk; slams bedroom door!)