MOVIE REVIEWS #134: "MANCHESTER BY THE SEA", 'ARRIVAL", "A MAN CALLED OVE", "BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE", "THE BFG", "THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS", "INDIGNATION", "THE PEOPLE VS. FRITZ BAUER", "TRUTH", "THE NIGHT BEFORE", "THE PERFECT GUY" and MORE!

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CANON OF FILM: "BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID"

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969)

Director: George Roy Hill

Screenplay: William Goldman



Years ago, when I was much younger, I would've easily ranked "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" as my favorite western; I think it's a lot of peoples' favorite. However, the older I get, the less I feel able to defend it. I barely think of it as a western these days, and that's part of the appeal; it's a western that doesn't feel like a western, even back then that was the appeal. The movie feels less like a western and more like, "Easy Rider". (Or more like, how "Easy Rider" should've sounded like.) It's one of the most beloved screenplays of all-time, from one of the most beloved screenwriters of all-time, and it is a great script, and has one of the greatest lines of dialogue of all-time, at one of the most dramatic and iconic of moments of all of cinema. On the page, with the dialogue, and story, it works, but, still, there's a scenes where, the Oscar-winning song, "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" plays, in a western, and on bright sunny daylight, not a cloud in the sky. I mean, you can argue it's supposed to be anachronistic, well, having a modern pop song at all in this western makes it anachronistic, but that song..., in that scene, with Paul Newman and Katharine Ross trying to ride a bicycle?

The actual story of Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) and The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford) is basically there, although I'd have trouble calling it accurate. In fact, to some degree, it's so inaccurate that, I almost get the sense that this film would've worked better as a musical in the vein of "Hamilton" or "Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson".

(Pauses. Idea lights up. Writes down note: "Look up musical rights to adapt "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"...)

Ross's character, Etta Place was actually a prostitute not a schoolteacher for instance, and while they're claim to fame as legendary bank robbers of the Wild West is firmly in place, and yes, they're big claim is that they became successful heroic robbers on two continents, first in America, and then they went down to South America and did it again after the Hole-in-the-Wall gang disbursed.  The movie, isn't so much about their success as it is, a comedy about it. Any attempt to watch the movie to get a sense of Butch & Sundance the people is a fool's journey; it's practically as dumb an idea as watching Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds" in an effort to find out more about the real Hitler.

What we do find are two tragic, funny, modern-day heroic anti-heroes in the Old West. They act like their Buster Keaton, two funny things in a strange world, but they're more like Charlie Chaplin, where they're the funny thing in the real world, and the real world is coming to get them. These aren't John Wayne archetypes, they seem more like, two guys who probably idealized the devil-may-care tough guy attitude of Steve McQueen but grew up with the fragility and empathy of James Dean. And despite all the logic problems with that modern-day wit and sensibility, clashing with a time period western, it works, not in spite of it, but because of it.

The film has many aesthetics staples that are now copied so often, it’s hard to enjoy them for their originality, they've been overused to the point of parody now, like beginning the film in a black-and-white, with gray tints, and then switching to color as the story begins. Or the ending death scene, which may be interpreted as suicide, or may just be a prelude to Thelma and Louise type endings. (Well, actually “Thelma and Louise” would qualify as a modern-day Western) The movie, for all the faults of George Roy Hill, who was a good but impersonal director mostly known now for this and the other Newman/Redford combination film, "The Sting", is definitely salvaged by Conrad L. Hall's Oscar-winning cinematography. I didn't intend to do another Hall film so soon after "Road to Perdition", it just ended up that way, but when you go back, this western doesn't look like other westerns. He did something kinda peculiar, by overexposing most of the film. It got cleaned up in post, but the effect is still there; there weren't that many westerns that looked this breathtaking, and yet seemed like they were grated with a dark edge to it at the time. 

Knowing the real story of Butch and Sundance, doesn’t take away from the movie, it helps to enjoy the film for what decisions were made in making this story. Does it matter that the Katharine Ross character in real life was a prostitute and not a schoolteacher? No. You get more sympathy from a schoolteacher, but the decisions she makes in the film would make more sense if she was a prostitute. They chose sympathy, and it probably makes more sense that a teacher would teach Butch and Sundance how to speak Spanish. (Although, I wouldn’t have any problem believing an old Western hooker would know Spanish, it might even come in handy {no pun intended}). It also makes perfect sense to me that Butch and Sundance would be talking about Australia right before they’re killed. There’s also something perverse about the town marshal trying to round a posse get pushed aside for a salesman selling a two-wheeled contraption that’s the wave of the future. Who notices the metaphorical castration of the Old West the scene represents anyway? 

I said awhile ago that Bob Fosse's "Cabaret" was for all-intensive purposes the death of the traditional Hollywood musical; you could argue the same thing about the western with "Butch Cassidy..." not because of it's impact, there were several major westerns, including classic westerns that came later, from Henry Hathaway's "True Grit" all the way too Clint Eastwood's opus, "Unforgiven", the later of which has a better argument for that, but perhaps in terms of approach, you can argue "Butch & Sundance" probably had that impact. There were other neo-Westerns too, but none that were so distinctly modern in tone. The movie has more in common with "Lethal Weapon", which is also a movie that took a popular genre and turned it on it's head with a comedic approach to the material and characters, than it does the spaghetti westerns of it's time or Sam Peckinpah's work at that period.

That's probably the real secret as to it's greatness, why it continues to survive and refuses to go away, not because of it's failings as a western, but cause it succeeds at what this film actually is. It's one of the greatest and quintessential buddy comedies of all-time.

TV VIEWING 101-CLASS #14: REALITY TELEVISION: GENRE/SUBGENRES AND QUALITY ANALYSIS

Good Morning Class,

Alright, I know it's been awhile, but we're back. Hope you did your homework, I'll collect it later. Today, we're gonna be continuing on "Perspective" and how that is the major determining factor in quality analysis of reality programming, although we're gonna touch a little bit more on genres and subgenres, and I'm gonna be straight with you guys, it's a lot of reading. up front, unfortunately. I know.

For those confused, eh, down the hall, is where Film Viewing 225B: The Feature Film, the Cinema and You, where you all talk about cinema, if you're supposed to be in that class, it's down the hall and to the right? What's that, the door's lock? Well, then you're stuck here, talking about a piece of moving picture that's shot, written, directed, edited, lighted and every other part of the filmmaking process. And don't worry, you're not missing anything, I made that class up. NOW SIT DOWN, this is the subject for today!

Seriously if you all think reality or any other genre of television is that different from movies or cinema, than think again. As we discussed earlier, it's just another form of documentary filmmaking, and not even a new one. The only thing really new about it, is the term, "Reality" television. That didn't come around, until "Survivor", hit in America.

Now, "Survivor" of course, social experiment series, with a competition aspect, so, it's qualified as a reality-competition program, and to be honest, I don't really understand why that term stuck, more than others. Possibly because it's the real, first time the genre was, the biggest show on television. There's been popular ones before, 'The Real World" comes to mind, "Cops" also comes to mind. That was a whole other genre, especially big in the nineties, the-eh, true crime-recreation series. This would include "Unsolved Mysteries", "Real Stories of the Highway Patrol" stuff like that. "America's Most Wanted", like I said, "Reality" is a blanket term, used by the public for a lot of subgenres or flat out different genres entirely of television that all deal with, real people, real events, non-fiction, stories, being told about them, this one, just had a documentary recreation aspect to them.

Now, retroactively, while we talked a lot about the predecessors to reality, "An American Family" is probably the show most people think of as the original reality program, and also the series that created the first reality stars, in the Loud Family, especially the late Lance Loud, who was the first openly gay character/person on network television. In fact, he came out on network television, and this was back in the '70s. For our purposes, in terms of how to analyze a show, that's not really important, but culturally that's where a lot of people who think of as where the genre really began. Especially, since, what we really consider as the base of the reality genre, finding somebody or something that's interesting, and filming it, for documentation purposes that's pretty much the base of reality television. Back then, it was the typical white middle class family, and then, 25 years later, it was Ozzy Osbourne's family. Taking perspective out of it, which do you think is more interesting to see?

I don't know, you guys answer? That's the big question that every television execute's trying to figure out, while they search for the next one that'll capture the public's imagination.

So, why are there so many subgenres of reality television? Anybody have a guess? Sure, when something gets popular they start making and remaking it, but that's-, that's with everything. And with other genres, you can only do that so often. I mean, "Star Trek" was popular, that can lead to other sci-fi shows, but let's go back to "Star Search" again.



So, let's analyze this. First off, it's a talent competition ("The Gong Show", "America's Got Talent") , not the first, but definitely the biggest of those. Well, we had singing, ("American Idol", "The Voice"), Dancing, ("So You Think You Can Dance") of-, I'm sorry, dance crews ("American Best Dance Crew"),  vocal group, ("The Sing-Off") Stand-Up Comedy ("Last Comic Standing") and Spokesmodels, ("America's Next Top Model") all, from this show, essentially. (Okay, "The Gong Show' predates "Star Search" but still) but there's like thirty reality series, based, practically just from this show.

"Now, yeah, but it's a talent, these people have talent, most of them." some would say.

Well, you ever sing? You, yeah you? You never sing? Not even in the car or in the shower? Any of you ever dance? Nobody here goes out dancing once in a while? Okay, there we go. Any of you take dance lessons at some point in your life. Yeah, a few of you, raise your hands, c'mon? Any, of you, ever take a date, dancing? Yeah, any of you ever date, period?  Okay, I know this is a bunch of film geeks and whatnot, but I'm sure some of have been on a date at some point? How, about-eh, building stuff, any of you ever build something? A few of you? How about gardening; how about painting? How about, cooking? Any of you ever cook? How about eat? Oh, you all like to eat, okay. Can you all, think of a show or two based around those things, reality shows?

You like, to travel, any of you? Now, some of you, will blanket some of these, under other names and guises, for instance, "Lifestyle shows" or-eh, "Informational series", but essentially they're the same thing?

What's the difference between watching a bunch of drunk housewives cause a ruckus in a club, and watching a quiet, soft-spoken guy painting a picture of a bunch of trees? I mean, you're still watching people, you're watching them, act, be, in real life, doing something, something they like to do, or not but you're still people watching. It's not like one's contrived and the other isn't, they're both pretty contrived. You think those easels and paints were just sitting in front of the camera, in a TV studio? It's no different than making sure somebody gets angry with a champagne glass in their hand? It's not like thinks aren't just as staged in real life?

What, they are? You ever get tired and want to go to bed? Sure, where's your bed? In your house, who put it there? Oh, you did; why there, you could've put it anywhere? You wanted it there, in your room too? So, you've set up the bed in a particular place and the room the bed's in, in a particular place? If things weren't staged in life, you could've just slept anywhere you wanted, any time you wanted, any place you wanted?

Yeah "All the world's a stage," you damn fucking right it is!

So, everything's staged to some degree, including real life, and all reality television shows, and for that matter, all media for that matter, including regular films and television shows. So what's the difference? What makes one of these good, the other bad, or one of them better or weaker than the other? Say it with me!?

PERSPECTIVE!

Thank you! Perspective! Quality Analysis of reality shows, is about perspective. It's the one single thing, that's manipulated and altered, in order to fit a narrative and a point of view on the material. It can be manipulated in many, many different ways, sometimes to the point of where it can be illegal, and a breaking of the public's trust.... I talked about that in our discussion on game shows and the early scandals that, have basically controlled and oversaw everything that television's produced ever since, but it's the perspective that's manipulated.

I'll give you a recent example, and very tangible example, ""The Voice", probably the biggest reality show on TV at the moment, still. Biggest reality-competition one at least. There's a lot of differences between that show, and the other singing talent series, particularly, the big one they were up against, "American Idol", one of the big ones was that, they wanted to make sure, they didn't have a Simon Cowell character. They don't have a "Gong Show"-like round, where anybody can come in a tryout, at least not on camera. They have judges, who always accentuate positive aspects, that was a big thing, and they made sure to pre-select a lot of the participants, and set up the series so that the judges or mentors were selecting the contestant and not simply, giving them a pass or fail. Now, which perspective is better? Well, there's definitely entertainment value to seeing people who aren't talented trying to sing and not being able to, and seeing them sometimes having to confront that truth, but...- I would argue that, the stronger competition and the more detailed areas of praise is probably a stronger perspective, one thing that I would say makes "The Voice" better, but they're two different and distinct perspectives on essentially the same thing. Now, there's other aspects of those shows that also have arguably different perspective strengths and weaknesses but that's what you're looking at and looking for ultimately.

Yes, it's the same with every other genre, but it's a little more complex and crucial to see in most reality because it is so subtle. This is why I'm giving you guys some outside reading material today, 'cause I've gone through a few of these subgenres, and there's plenty more that one can do. If it's a part of a person's reality, you can probably construct a reality show around it, and of course, you can also construct a reality show around the people themselves, but most of these aspects-of-life subgenres are the former.

I brought up dating shows before, you're gonna read up on them a bit:
http://davidbaruffi.blogspot.com/2017/03/dating-shows-analysis-and-history-of.html

There's a bunch of them, there's good ones, there's bad ones, there's really bad ones, most of them intertwine with game shows, unfortunately. Don't necessarily want to think too deeply on our lives with that analogy, but still.

Cooking shows, that's another one:
http://davidbaruffi.blogspot.com/2014/06/cooking-shows-evolution-and-artistry-in.html
Very popular, everybody likes food, everybody likes good food. Hell, the only show other than "The Amazing Race" and "The Voice" to win the Primetime Reality-Competition Emmy, was a cooking show. "Top Chef', so....

Think about that too, btw, how for almost all of these genres, there's usually both, a more cinema verite approach to the aspect of life, just documenting the event as is, sort of thing, and there's often some kind of competition show format out there as well.

Yes, even in courtroom/judge shows:
http://davidbaruffi.blogspot.com/2016/10/legalcourtroom-judge-shows-analytical.html
However, "The Law Firm" is mostly a forgotten failed experiment now, since it mostly just seemed like "The Apprentice" but with attorneys, (although I didn't hate it) and a courtroom is essentially a competition anyway. It even has a judge to determine the winner. (I know, that joke was awful, I apologize)

So, are there any exceptions to that idea of everything about reality shows are about being apart of everyday life?



Right, there is, the watching of people doing things that are unusual or, not normal for them to be doing. Fish out of water stories aren't new for reality of course. "Reality" is already heightened, reality to begin with and the Heisenberg Principle is of course, applying here, but-uh, yeah, I guess hypothetically, people could eat these gross things.... yeah, this is about where you can start calling reality shows, "exploitative". All media is of course exploitative to some degree, but yeah, this is around when it turns more gross and more, "Let's see what they'll do for money."

That said however, there also is good precedent for this, 'cause basically it's another form of the physical game show. Simplifying this, it shows that might structurally be similar to a game show of some kind,but are in reality more of a physical activity people must perform to win. "Beat the Clock" is probably the earliest form of this, but I suspect the most influential modern-day example, other than "Survivor" is "American Gladiators". The original one anyway.



There were other shows before that one, but that's probably the spiritual predecessor to the rest, and it's a good example of a show being about what people can do, as oppose to what people will do. "Survivor"'s kind of an example of that too, how do you survive on an island? Okay, it's really more about, the events and challenges then any actual surviving, but, yeah, there is something to this too, and determining the quality of these, can be difficult. Depending on what their going for, but I'd argue that, the competition aspect is of these kind of shows, when that's highlighted, that's when the show remains the strongest. That's probably the reason why "The Amazing Race" holds all the Emmy records compared to say, "Survivor", or "Big Brother" something else along those lines. While those are competition shows as well, along with challenges the competitors have to overcome to succeed and win, it's hard to argue that that's the focus of the show. They may tend more towards the societal experiment edge, something that Stanley Milgram might have concocted and there's good and bad ways of doing that too, but there's more of an emphasis on the battle and competitive aspect in "The Amazing Race". It is a literal race around the world, and the editing, pacing and storytelling of that series, all emphasize that much more than other shows. There might be more personal and touching moments elsewhere, but that's secondary to the competition.  When something like that, tries to be the focus of a series, especially a competition series of some kind, and it's manufactured, you start to lose interest and intrigue really fast. Kinda akin to how annoying it was that every "Deal or No Deal" contestant had some sad sob story. Yeah, sure red flag that the game isn't interesting or compelling enough as a game on it's own. Mix of characters with differing backstories is fine, but that shouldn't necessarily be the focus.

People, can and do survive on a desert island, people do perform dangerous stunts for money, people are athletic enough to go through the Eliminator, or whatever the "American Ninja Warrior" obstacle course is called. People, can be fascinated by people eating gross things for money, but they probably shouldn't. Yeah, it might be better to watch people as they try to overcome their drug addictions and hoarding problems. At least that's compelling real-life human drama. (And not a competition-reality program, so that standard not in play. There really are a lot of aspects to this genre, aren't there? Too many to full grasp in one shot.)

Anyway, you guys have a lot of reading to do, so there's not too much homework. Just think about life and people and the things people do, and try to come up with a pitch oran idea for a reality show, of some kind, that we've never seen or heard before.  Any kind of reality show is fine, just something or some people doing things that you think could be compelling to watch on television. Doesn't have to be a fully-formed pitch, just a pitch something about people that you think can be interesting to see on television and explain why.

Alright, next class, we'll dive into a dying genre, but a critical one and varied one, daytime talk shows. The irony of Jerry Springer's final thought. I'm kidding, there's more to it than that. Anyway, class dismissed everyone.

(Folds over arms and blinks like Jeannie, doors magically unlock)

You can leave now. and no, I'm not explaining how I can do that.

"CASH ME OUTSIDE" GIRL vs. "LITTLE FUNNY"-THE TWO SIDES OF REALITY TELEVISION!

Who the fuck is this little girl?! No, seriously, who the fuck is this little girl, and why do I know she exists!?

Did-, Did I miss something? When did-, okay, uh, I had no plans on, writing about this, eh, um, this-, do I really have to learn this person's name? Seriously? (Sigh)

Okay. So, this, 13 or 14-year-old, is, (Searching google, pause) Danielle Bregoli. I had no plans on writing about, this young woma  little girl, 'cause I blissfully lived in a world where I never heard of her. Then, I started hearing about her. Not, anything in particular, just, she kept popping up a few places that I didn't expect, mostly on my Facebook and Twitter feeds. Nothing particularly positive or anything, I kept seeing her image and her appearance on "Dr. Phil", keep getting mentioned in a few Youtube videos. A couple for instance, that talked about "Society" saying something about wanting us to admire her, while we weren't admiring, I don't know, some twelve-year-old who was curing cancer, or building a new kind of rocket or creating software that would that could control a nuclear weapon with our iPads or whatever.---? I didn't know what they were talking about, I just saw, some obnoxious little twit on "Dr. Phil", so already I'm against whoever this person is, if for nothing else, for making me watching five minutes of "Dr. Phil", which is unwatchable, awful crap btw, but yeah, I wasn't paying attention, to, (Holding back anger, deep breath, gritting teeth) Danielle.

I mean, something stupid happens on daytime shows all the time, they happen, we get a laugh, maybe, maybe not, and then we move on with our lives, 'cause, who cares?! As far as I could tell, this person was of no importance and therefore nothing I needed to pay attention to. Then, I noticed a few things that were weird. For one thing, her Facebook and Twitter pages, had a checkmark next to her name. Yeah, somebody posted something from her Facebook page, so I checked it, 'cause I thought it, "If somebody posted something about this girl, then maybe she's important," but, no, she's not that important. But she had a checkmark on her name? Was somebody looking her up? Why!? I mean, she's a juvenile delinquent, who momentarily bemused and confused, Dr. Phil?

(Confused look, pause)

I'm fairly certain that's half of Ron White's stand-up routine, but, oh-kay????? I guess we're pretending that's a thing worth mentioning? What am I looking at here, the next, "I-Didn't-Do-It Kid?" That clip aired in November, it's actually over two years old, by the way, 'cause, yes, that's actually how long it often takes before some of those episodes actually make the air; they shoot quite a bit more ahead of time than people may realize. That's why you'll often hear of a daytime series getting cancelled and then, remain on the air, for like another year and a half or two. Anyway, she was on an episode of "Dr. Phil" called, "I Want to Give Up My Car-Stealing, Knife-Wielding, Twerkin 13-Year-Old Daughter Who Tried to Frame Me for a Crime!" Just for fun, I think I'll let you guys, determine what the episode was about; see if you can figure it out, by some of the context and clues provided so far.

Apparently, she became a meme from this episode, which, honestly, I don't fully understand what a "meme" even is, but whatever, and it stuck. For some reason? I,I-eh- (Sigh)

Okay, I guess you're all wondering right now, why am I writing about this little girl? This, flash-in-the-pan, this who-the-fuck-is-this, this Who's Who of "Who? Why, am I suddenly looking into this? (Sigh) Well, I have a few different reasons and I'll get to all of them, the first one being that, she's got a REALITY SHOW DEAL!!!!!

http://www.tmz.com/2017/03/27/cash-me-outside-girl-danielle-bregoli-signs-tv-deal/

Yeah, she's this big, and the Producers of this program they're shopping are saying that, they're confident that somebody will buy and that there's lots of interest. So, she is actually in my entertainment world purview, so now I have to pay attention and think about her. GRRRRR!

Okay, I know what you're thinking, "So what?" There's plenty of people who, for all intensive purposes, shouldn't be famous, and have no business having reality shows, but they do. We do live in a post-"Honey Boo-Boo" age of television don't we, right? So, what's so wrong about, some obnoxious 13-year-old brat, is that's so wrong or disturbing?

(Scratching head, sigh)

Bare with me a second, I have to explain this with an anecdote....

So, once upon a time, I had some family members that worked in/with the biggest nightclub in Vegas, like the biggest at the time. This was before nightclubs in casinos was a thing, so it's different now, but it was a thing, and because they were well-connected, these relatives of mine often got deals for shows and stuff and occasionally a connection or a favor thrown their way. (CORRECTION: After consulting with the family member, this incident happened more recently than I thought and it was a casino nightclub in Vegas.) For instance, if they have relatives from out of town coming in, and since this is Vegas, that happens a lot to people who live/move here, shockingly, they can get something in town to take their out-to-town friends to show off. So, one of my Mom's best friends was in town, and my mother decided to take her out to a nice place, I'm not gonna name which place, but a nice well-known place in Vegas. My mom's friend's a little more-eh, I don't want to say richer, but she's a little more prim and proper and raised a little more well-off than much of my family was, and sometimes she could be a little judgmental and presumptuous. That's just her. So, they're dining in this, you know, nice place, maybe not Michelin star, but quite formal, and my mom's friend is looking around, and eventually she sees this guy get seated, and she's kinda shocked by it. "Wow, they'll let anyone in here, won't they?" We asked what she meant, and she pointed out the guy who was seated across the way, and he wasn't that well-kept. Jeans, that were ripped at the knee, sneakers, a graphic t-shirt, hair that's not really brushed with that much care. She's like, "Look at that, we get all dressed up to come eat and this exclusive, nice place, and he comes in looking like that, and he can walk right in and get a table? This place, not that fancy, huh?" Well, we, we, started chuckling, 'cause clearly she didn't realize, what we had to tell her. "No, you have it backwards. We, have to get dressed up, and look nice, in order to come over and eat here. We're nobodies. That guy, doesn't. He probably has more money than everybody else in this restaurant combined, ever will." Now, I'm not 100% sure who that person was, let's for the sake of argument say it was, somebody like Richard Branson, so that the story sounds cooler than it is, but you know, how my mother knew that? Because, our family worked in the nightclubs, and the big nightclubs, and our bouncers' job, included, knowing who the fuck everybody is, in case they happened to drop by, 'cause you don't want to keep somebody waiting, who perhaps, could be powerful or well-connected enough to lose your job over, trying to identify them, or worst, downright reject them for entrance, when, you know, they're last name is Hilton or Kennedy or Spielberg, or something like that.

You see, that's why I've never really complained about, say those trust-fund babies, the Paris Hilton's, the Kim Kardashian's the Nicole Ritchie and whomever, about their pseudo-fame and reality television success; don't get me wrong, I've never watched any of those shows, (Well, I might've watched a Clark Gable III-hosted episode of "Cheaters" once or twice but that's it. Bet you didn't know that was a thing.) but yeah, they pass the Bouncer test, they'd be allowed in. They could get kicked out if they're really being obnoxious, of course, but yeah, certain people, can and should get in through the door, while others don't. This is why, a seven-year-old Drew Barrymore can go up to Studio 54 and if somebody told her she was too young or something, she can say, "I'm a fucking Barrymore, dammit, let me in, get me a drink, and find a cute guy who's chest I can do lines of coke off of," and we'd be the ones in trouble for not letting her in and giving her all she asked for.

And it's not just a class thing, either, by the way, this is a fame thing, and fame, means they're talented and/or known, for doing, something. And it can be something ridiculous or something that's barely an accomplish of anything at all, but something. "Jon & Kate Plus 8", famous for, having six kids at once, why are they famous? Eh, have you heard of the Dionne Quintuplets? If you haven't look them up, 'cause while it's more common now, for people to have that many kids, it was a sideshow spectacle for a long time, so there's precedent. What else? "Teen Mom", that's gotta just be exploitative, right? Yeah, probably, but, did it make being a teen parent look that good? I mean, MTV can blur the lines a bit, but when they want to make a point, especially the news and entertainment division, they've been known to make it and make it well. Sure, they cast some pretty, seemingly lousy parents, but how many teen parents are little angels anyway? Yeah, there's an angle and a reason for existing, even if Farrah Abraham, really doesn't make that reason seem that great sometimes. People with interesting jobs or lives, documented for a reality series, that's not a bad idea. And what about Honey Boo-Boo, while we're at it? Eh, yeah that was awful, but you know, she was a child beauty pageant contestant, and yeah, that's kind of a disturbing world in of itself, for several reasons, but yeah, she actually friggin' did something. Something that's somewhat worth the attention she received, and she was an interesting character within that world, so, yeah, follow her. I can't really blame that either. Again, these aren't endorsements, but you see what I'm getting at here?

That's why I'm a little annoyed and pissed off at this girl's fame, and apparently conservative net worth of $2,000,000 dollars. No, I'm not kidding with that number:

http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/models/danielle-bregoli-net-worth/

And I'm fairly certain it's more than five times that already, by the way. This juvenile delinquent is just a bunch of red flags to me, that are telling me that, she should be getting stopped by the Bouncer. This hack, 13-year-old with a fake ID, a horribly faux ghetto accent to sound tough, that literally every television series has made fun of from "Married with Children" to "2 Broke Girl$" and acts like a Jenny Jones show reject, which she's too young to even know what the hell that is...- Yeah, I ask again, who the fuck is this little girl, and why do I know she exists?!!!!!!!!!!!

(Scream into the void, Frustrated sigh, followed by calming sigh to regroup)

That said, yes, I realize that were talking about reality television where the standard for fame is low. I'm not exactly positive I can justify, say, any Real Housewives series other than Orange County (Because that was done as a loose parody of "Desperate Housewives" which people forget) and for that matter, other than the fact that it was on MTV, "Jersey Shore" is difficult. Difficult, but probably not impossible. (They're a documentation of a culture of youth, that's typical exaggeration of the MTV audience, there, I justified it.) But this little girl, I can think of ten girls like her that that I went to school with. Hell, half of them are Facebook friends of mine. They're a dime a dozen, and the fact that she's a household name is fucked up, doesn't really add up to interesting or important enough for a reality show, except maybe an episode of "Cops". It's mostly just depressing and annoying when your really think about it, and we have enough reckless reality show producers out there, taking chances on whether or not the people they're documenting aren't convicted sexual predators or alt-right neo-Nazis or whatever.

(Sigh) I don't know, maybe there's something interesting about her, that I'm not seeing. I'll give her this, she doesn't seem like that lowest of the low class of people who are trying to form a career by being reality television stars. No, I don't mean, like the Kardashians, I mean, the Balloon Boy's family. Remember them? They were trying to become famous 'cause they think they're interesting enough or have some family gimmick that's worth them having their own reality show. And that's not even as rare as you think by the way, you guys ever see this?



Yeah, this is the original demo video of "Vegas Pawn" that Rick Harrison got made and sent around to all the networks as a reality show pitch; this is the earliest beginning of what would become "Pawn Stars". It's a little bit grittier than the version we know now, slightly more exploitative in it's customers, not as bad as "Hardcore Pawn" is or something of that nature but still, it's not glamorous, and the idea of Chumlee being a major part of the show isn't in this video, much less Chumlee himself. But, there is that historical aspect of the show that sort evolved into the series we see now, and they did in fact have some claims to fame as being the first 24/7 pawn shop. (They're not anymore, since they don't have to be, they make enough money to be open only regular hours now) The seeds of an interesting series is there, and despite Rick Harrison using the word "fairy" probably a little more loosely than he probably should've, you can kinda understand and see why they'd think this was a good idea. (And he had that idea boiling for awhile too. There's an earlier clip going around of him on Date Atell's old show "Insomniac" that's worth looking for if you're really interested, it's pretty funny) I guarantee, Danielle's got her demo pitch like this, already on the desks of every network in town.

Yeah, it's not just that I'm struggling to find that piece of interest in this little girl who's maybe 1/10 as interesting and memorable a meme as Grumpy Cat. I don't outright hate her or anything,  although I hate whatever she may represent as the next line of faux-famous reality castoffs that could pollute our television airways. Especially since,...- she's not the only little girl out there making a reality show.

Yeah, I've been a little under the radar about this, but one of the reasons that she's grabbed my attention, isn't her exactly; it's that I actually have already been paying attention to a future soon-to-air reality show that's being made at the moment, that's also showcased around a little girl, one that's actually younger than Miss Bregoli, and I've been following it's progress for awhile now. Mainly, 'cause while Danielle's fame is completely undeserved and inconceivable, even within a reality show, market, this other little girl...- (frustrated sigh) no joke, not trying to be funny here, the little girl I've been watching, is one of the few people in the entertainment industry, who I feel genuine hate for, with a passion! And by "hate", I mean, pure, unadulterated, jealousy. This girl's existence to me, is...- (Holding back anger) Check her out yourself.



This is Saffron Herndon. She's twelve and she legitimately can be on a Top Ten list of the best stand-up performers working the clubs in the country right now. (Long pause, sigh) You remember in "Amadeus' when Salieri realized not only how talented Mozart is, but how much more talented and naturally talented he was compared to himself, and how he was never gonna be that talented no matter how hard he tried? Yeah, that's the reason for the "Hate" I have for her. This girl is 12, right now. Within fifteen years, she's going to be George Carlin, Tina Fey and Amy Schumer wrapped in one, and that's on top of what will at that point be about 20 years experience she'd have, and she'd still be at the beginning of her career! (Grinning teeth anger) She should not exist. There is literally, nobody in the entertainment industry I hate more than Saffron Herndon. I am deadly serious. The future of entertainment industry people, we're gonna have to live up to her. And yes, that's starting now, because she has a reality deal.:

http://splitsider.com/2016/09/ae-orders-a-reality-series-about-an-11-year-old-standup-produced-by-ellen-degeneres/

It's currently titled "Little Funny", Ellen DeGenerous is producing it, and I have been waiting anxiously for it to air, if it ever does, since they announced it. And, yes, I have been studying up on her since I found out about her existence (Which is a lot longer than this meme of a girl has been around, and btw Saffy Herndon, does not, have checkmarks on Facebook and Twitter accounts yet, for some reason....!? And no, I don't know her net worth, nobody's looked it up yet!)  Her father, for instance is also a stand-up and actor, like her, so she had this in to the business. There's some who suspect her father is writing her material, eh, yeah, this girl's a little too smart, witty, too much of a point of view and performer....- yeah, if somehow, somebody who's 12, is this much of a fraud that she's this natural at performing, and with a distinctively smart 12-year-old girl point-of-view, is a puppet of her dad...?- Ah, nah. Yeah, she's the real thing and she's only gonna get better. Right now, she's mainly the biggest stand-up act in the greater Dallas, Texas area. And yes, she absolutely gets through the door at the nightclub, in fact the bouncer will stop her, ask for ID, and she'll say, "Tony, it's me; I got your weed," and then, the Bouncer will apologize for not recognizing her, make the exchange, she'll then enter, do ten minutes of material and then go finish her homework.

So, this is what I'm paying attention to right now, two pre-teen young girls getting reality shows, and they couldn't be more different. Literally, they represent all the best and worst possible aspects of television's most despised and disreputable genre. One who is probably gonna be the stand-up comic that defines and influences the next fifty years of entertainment and the other, somebody who is so inept and lacking of stardom and legitimate fame status that I am just, stumped at trying to figure out how or why she's gotten this famous, for essentially, being a brat who doesn't know that you're supposed to keep your tongue in when making an s-sound.

Oh, yeah, I should tell this story too, since my family's all longtime East Coasters, when I was in elementary school out west, they sent me to the school's speech therapist for a little while, because apparently I had difficult pronouncing my th's and s's properly. On th-sounds, you stick your tongue out, but on s-sounds, your tongue's supposed to be in, behind you teeth. I have no idea if this is actually legitimately a problem or just an accent issue, although I do distinctly remember a lot of people think I was saying "frow" or "srow" when I was saying "throw", and if I think about it, "this" is actually a difficult word for me to say out loud, but it's something I know, and actually adjusted to. I don't know if school's do that now, but.... So yeah, not even impressed at her mispronunciation and accent being a unique aspect. (This fact has been brought to you by, "Knowing Things", for when you really want to ruin everything for everyone, "Knowing Things" is your best bet. [Clicks tongue, with fingers mockingly shaped like a gun])  Another thing that makes Honey Boo-Boo more qualified for fame than Danielle.

But yeah, that's what we got. It literally is like all those meme's comparing Danielle to some other kid around her age who's actually accomplished something. I honestly don't know what scares me more, the fact that, this might be the bottom of the barrel, or that, Miss Bregoli is gonna be the person that inevitably influences the next no-talent nothing who gets their fifteen minutes and takes it to becoming the next big thing in reality. Meanwhile, here's somebody who's mere presence is gonna inevitably improve the reality genre, if anybody ends up watching her eventual show, which is a possibility, although it will be the first of like, five genres and ten or twelve artistic mediums she's influenced and changed by the time she's done, so really, she doesn't even need anybody to notice her right now.

I know there's always good and bad in the marketplace, and we have to sort through it all and it's part-talent and part-crapshoot that something good ever ends up on top, but this just seems wrong. So, so wrong. Wronger than usual. And it frightens me. Granted everything about Saffy Herndon frightens the shit out of me, but the fact this (INSULT DELETED), who doesn't even have the sense to get famous for something as insightful like 'Don't Taze Me, Bro" has apparently captured part of the public's imagination....-. This should not be a battle that's out there on the marketplace right now. I don't know why or how Danielle Bregoli has jumped into the fame index, or who she's got behind/working for her that's managed to catapult and stretch out this fame until it's gotten to this point, but yeah, if you want to see where entertainment and reality in particular is going, or faltering, this is the next battleground to watch out for. Which of these two projects are inevitably gonna succeed or fail, and it's all in the hands of two 12-year-old girls.

(Sighs)

I know, it sounds like the world's worst "Hunger Games" fan-fiction, but yeah, this is what we got right now, and it's worth keeping an eye on. God help us. I'll be talking about reality television more soon, putting the genre in an overall context and of course, how to truly determine the quality of programs within the genre, but yeah, for now, this is where the genre is going and where it might be heading, and both the good things and bad things that comes with it. At least on the surface, who knows, maybe I'll be all wrong and think the Meme girl's show will be the quality one and the stand-up's show will be exploitative crap, but this is probably the television genre where there's the least surprises like that, so, somehow I doubt that'll be the case this time, and I'll go over why that is another day. In the meantime,...

In the meantime....- Yeah, I don't have a good way to end this, so here's that video Kyle Kallgren did on "Honey Boo-Boo" that time, for a more analytical and historical look that still doesn't add much points in Danielle Bergoli's favor here.