Friday, December 31, 2021

THE TENTH ANNUAL ONE-YEAR-LATER AWARDS! Honoring the Best in Film from the year before... (Or, the year before, the year before... We'll catch up Later Edition II)

(FADE IN)

(INT. DAVID BARUFFI'S OFFICE DESK-DAY)

DAVID
Good morning, Everyone, and welcome to the 10th Annual One-Year Later Awards, the OYLs. Where we honor the best in film, from, whatever-the-hell-year we have to do next. 

(Forlorn sigh)

Yeah, I know. We're still behind, it's still the pandemic and even though we're a little open, we're still not doing a normal Awards ceremony. I'm at home, I'm alone so I'm not wearing a mask this time. Other then that, it's gonna be, basically the same as last year. 

Uh, we did have to have Zoom calls, and have people presents the awards this year, um, but-uh, unfortunately, it's turned out that Conan O'Brien has hacked into my computer and Zoom account, so anytime I try to connect with someone, it just goes back to Conan. 

CONAN
(ON Computer screen, maniacal voice)
That's right. I am the king of ZOOM now! This is what you get for nearly drowning me the last time I hosted your show, so now you don't get to do anything, unless I'm the one doing it....

DAVID
Okay, this bit even that funny. 

CONAN
Hey, what are you doing don't turn off...-

(David X's out of Zoom on his computer.) 

DAVID
Bye, see-ya later, Conan. 

(Sigh) 

He's got nothing to do now, so this is...- Anyway, let's just get this done. Here are nominees for Best Original song. 

(David clips on computer, montage of nominees play.)

BEST ORIGINAL SONG 
"Letter to My Godfather"-The Black Godfather
    Music/Lyrics: Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo
"Slow Train"-Clemency
    Music/Lyrics: Kathryn Bostic
"Glory"-David Crosby: Remember My Name
    Music/Lyrics: David Crosby, Michelle Willis, Becca Stevens and Michael League
    Music/Lyrics: Kristin Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez
"Stand Up"-Harriet
    Music/Lyrics: Cynthia Erivo and Joshuah Brian Campbell
    Music: JUNG Jae-il
    Lyrics: BONG Joon-ho
    Music: Elton John
    Lyrics: Bernie Taupin
"High Above the Water"-Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am
    Music/Lyrics: Kathryn Bostic
    Music/Lyrics: Randy Newman
    Music/Lyrics: Caitlyn Smith, Kate York and Mary Steenburgen

(David picks up envelope and begins opening it.)

Can't believe it took us this long to realize we can put Spotify links for the songs up there. 

(Opens envelope)

The OYL Award goes to... "GLASGOW"! "(No Place Like Home)" from "WILD ROSE".



Alright, let's move on. The next category is-

(Stares at label on envelope) 

Best Makeup and Hairstyling. There's nine nominees this year, and they are: 

(David clicks montage)

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
Avengers: Endgame
    Makeup: John Blake, Francisco X. Perez and Dennis Liddiard
    Hair: Janine Rath-Thompson and Michelle Diamantides
Bombshell
    Makeup: Kazu Hiro and Vivian Baker
    Hair: Anne Morgan
Dolemite is My Name
    Makeup: Vera Steimberg, Debra Denson and Deborah Huss Humphries
    Hair: Carla Joi Farmer, Stacy L. Morris and Linda Villalobos
Hustlers
    Makeup: Margot Boccia and Roxanne Rizzo
    Hair: Angel De Angelis and Deirdre L. Harris
The Irishman
    Makeup: Sean Flanigan, Mike Marino, Tania Ribalow and Anette Lian-Williams
    Hair: Nicki Ledermann and Carla White
Judy
    Makeup: Jeremy Woodhead
    Hair: Natasha Ladek
Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
    Makeup: Heba Thorisdottir, Gregory C. Funk, Howard Berger and Greg Nicotero
    Hair: Janine Rath-Thompson and Michelle Diamantides
Rocketman
    Makeup/Hair: Lizzie Yianni-Georgiou, Tapio Salmi and Barrie Gower
    Makeup: Victoria Money
    Hair: Laura Solari
Us
    Makeup: Scott Wheeler, Shutchai Tym Buacharern and Sabrina Crus Castro
    Hair: Camille Friend

And the OYL Award goes to... 

(Opens envelope)

The team from "BOMBSHELL"! Kazu Hiro, Vivian Baker and Anne Morgan!



Alright, we are off and running.. Let's get to...-

(David grabs the top envelope and reads the lettering)

Best Supporting Actress. Alright, big category. There's ten nominees, the maximum, and here they are:

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Paula Beer
"Transit"

Ana de Armas
"Knives Out"

Laura Dern
"Marriage Story"

Julia Fox
"Uncut Gems"

Shahadi Wright Joseph
"Us"

Jennifer Lopez
"Hustlers"

Da'Vine Joy Randolph
"Dolemite is My Name"

Margot Robbie
"Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood"

Taylor Russell
"Waves"

Shuzhen ZHAO
"The Farewell"

We're really trying new things with the formatting here; I like it.

(Opens envelope)

And the OYL Award goes to... ANA DE ARMAS, for "Knives Out"!



(David stares towards envelopes as he picks up the top one) 

Next up, is, Costume Design. Here are the ten nominees for Best Costume Design.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Bombshell-Colleen Atwood

Dolemite is My Name-Ruth E. Carter

Hustlers-Mitchell Travers

The Irishman-Christopher Peterson and Sandy Powell

Jojo Rabbit-Mayes C. Rubeo

Knives Out-Jenny Eagan

Little Women-Jacqueline Durran

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood-Arianne Phillips

Rocketman-Julian Day

Shadow-CHEN Minzheng

And the OYL Awards goes to...

(Opens envelope)

ARIANNE PHILLIPS for "Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood"!



Moving on, Best Cinematography. Again, ten nominees, the maximum, and the nominees are. 

(Clicks on montage)

    BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
1917
Roger Deakins

Atlantics
Claire Mathon

Honeyland
Fejmi Daut and Samir Ljuma

The Irishman
Rodrigo Prieto

The Lighthouse
Jarin Blaschke

Marriage Story
Robbie Ryan

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
Robert Richardson

Parasite
Kyung-pyo HONG

Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Claire Mathon

Shadow
Xiaoding ZHAO

(Opens envelope)

Alright, and the OYL goes to, ROGER DEAKINS, "1917"!



Alright, it's nice to see him finally win one of these. 

Alright, there are five nominees this year, in the category of Best Animated Feature. The award is given to the films' directors and producers. The nominees are...

(clicks to play montage)

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Frozen II
    Directors: Chris Buck & Jennifer Lee
    Producer: Peter Del Vecho

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
    Director: Dean DeBlois
    Producers: Bonnie Arnold and Bradford Lewis

Klaus
    Director/Producer: Sergio Pablos
    Co-Director: Carlos Martinez Lopez
    Producers: Gustavo Ferrada, Mercedes Gamero, Jinko Gotoh,  Marisa Roman and Matthew Teevan

Toy Story 4
    Director: Josh Cooley
    Producers: Mark Nielsen, Jonas Rivera and Galyn Susman

Weathering with You
    Director: Makoto SHINKAI
    Producers: Koichiro ITO, Noritaka KAWAGUCHI, Genki KAWAMURA and Wakana OKAMURA

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"FROZEN II"!



Next up...

(Stares at envelope he picks up)

is the OYL Award for Casting. This award goes to the film's casting director, and/or whomever is deemed most responsible for a film's casting. The nominees are: 

(Clicks on montage)

BEST CASTING
Dolemite is My Name
    Casting by Lindsay Graham and Mary Vernieu

Giant Little Ones
    Casting by Robin D. Cook, Jonathan Oliveira and Dave Smith

Hustlers
    Casting by Gayle Keller

Knives Out
    Casting by Mary Vernieu

Little Women
    Casting by Kathy Driscoll and Francine Maisler, with Douglas Aibel and Matt Bouldry

Marriage Story
    Casting by Douglas Aibel and Francine Maisler

Monos
    Casting by Eyde Belasco, Alexis Dos Santos, Daniela Schneider and Catalina Rodriguez

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
    Casting by Victoria Thomas

Parasite
    Producers: KWAK Sin-ae and BONG Joon-ho
    Heidi Leviit

Uncut Gems
    Casting by Francine Maisler and Jennifer Venditti

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"ONCE UON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD", Victoria Thomas!



Alright, that's two for that film. Up next, the OYL Award for Best Character, Voiceover, Narrative Voiceover or Alternative Performance. There are ten nominees, the maximum, and they are: 

BEST CHARACTER VOICEOVER, NARRATIVE VOICEOVER OR ALTERNATIVE PERFORMANCE
Elizabeth Banks
"The LEGO Movie 2"

Kristen Bell
"Frozen II"

Tiffany Haddish
"The LEGO Movie 2"

Tony Hale
"Toy Story 4"

Tom Hanks
"Toy Story 4"

Idina Menzel
"Frozen II"

Annie Potts
"Toy Story 4"

Linda Ronstadt
"Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice"

Jason Schwartzman
"Klaus"

Nanfu WANG
"One Child Nation"

And the OYL goes to... 

(Opens envelope)

TOM HANKS! "Toy Story 4"!



Up next, is the award for Best Ensemble Performance. The award is given to all the credited actors and performers in a feature film. There are ten nominated casts,  and they are:

(Stares intently at computer)

(Muttered under breath)
Where's that Ensemble montage? Ah, here it is.

(Clicks on montage)

BEST ENSEMBLE PERFORMANCE
Ash is Purest White
The Irishman
Knives Out
Little Women
Marriage Story
Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
Parasite
Portrait of a Lady on Fire
Uncut Gems
Waves

Yeah, I'm not typing every name on this one, we'll be here all night. 

(Opens envelope)

And the OYL goes to the CAST of "PARASITE"!



Alright, up next is Best-

(Zoom starts ringing on computer. David sighs in annoyance as he stares down the notification on his screen. He answers the message.)

What is it Conan?

CONAN
Hey since I'm here, and hacked your Zoom, can I announce a category?

DAVID
No. 

(David shuts off ZOOM. David takes a deep breath and grabs the next envelope from his pile.)

Sorry about that, everyone. What's next? The next category is Best Production Design. Here are the nominees for Best Production Design. There are ten nominees and they are:

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
1917
    Production Design: Dennis Gassner
    Set Decoration: Lee Sandales

Dolemite is My Name
    Production Design: Clay A. Griffith
    Set Decoration: Lisa K. Sessions

Ford v Ferrari
    Production Design: Francois Audouy
    Set Decoration: Peter Lando

The Irishman
    Production Design: Bob Shaw
    Set Decoration: Regina Graves

Jojo Rabbit
    Production Design: Ra Vincent
    Set Decoration: Nora Sopkova

Knives Out
    Production Design: David Crank
    Set Decoration: David Schlesinger

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
    Production Design: Barbara Ling
    Set Decoration: Nancy Haigh

Parasite
    Production Design: LEE Ha-jun
    Set Decoration: CHO Won-woo

Shadow
    Production Design: Kwong-Wing "Horace" Ma

Us
    Production Design: Ruth De Jong
    Set Decoration: Florencia Martin

And the OYL goes to...

(Opens envelope)

Once again, "ONCE UPON A TIME... in HOLLYWOOD", Barbara Ling and Nancy Haigh!



Okay, the next category is Best Editing, so this blog is probably not eligible. 

(Slight chuckle, slight sigh)

That's my self-depricating joke of the day. There are ten nominees, the maximum, in the category, and the nominees are....

BEST EDITING
Apollo 11
Todd Douglas Miller

For Sama
Chloe Lambourne and Simon McMahon

Ford v Ferrari
Andrew Buckland and Michael McCusker

Knives Out
Bob Ducsay

Little Women
Nick Houy

Mouthpiece
Lara Johnston

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
Fred Raskin

Parasite
Jinmo YANG

Uncut Gems
Ronald Bronstein and Benny Safdie

Us
Nicholas Monsour

And the One-Year-Later, one-year late, award, goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"FORD V FERRARI", Andrew Buckland and Michael McCusker



Alright, kind of an odd winner. They didn't even remember to put the S or period in "Vs." Oh well. 

Okay, next up, the OYL Award for Best Foreign Language feature. Yeah, we still call it Foreign Language Feature. Anyway, there's ten films representing eight countries on four continents. The award is given to the film's directors. The nominees are....

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Ash is Purest White
(People's Republic of China)
    Director: Zhangke JIA

Birds of Passage
(Columbia)
    Directors: Christina Gallego and Ciro Guerra

The Chambermaid
(Mexico)
    Director: Lila Aviles

Monos
(Columbia)
    Director: Alejandro Landes

One Cut of the Dead
(Japan)
    Director: Shin'Ichiro UEDA

Pain and Glory
(Spain)
    Director: Pedro Almodovar

Parasite
(South Korea)
    Director: BONG Joon-ho

Portrait of a Lady on Fire
(France)
    Director: Celine Sciamma

Transit
(Germany)
    Director: Christian Petzold

Weathering with You
(Japan)
    Director: Makato SHINKAI

(Grabs envelope)

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"PARASITE"!



Next up, a big category, Best Supporting Actor. There's ten nominees, the maximum, and here they are. 

(Clicks montage)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Alan Alda
"Marriage Story"

Sterling K. Brown
"Waves"

Willem Dafoe
"The Lighthouse"

Asier Etxeandria
"Pain and Glory"

Tom Hanks
"A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood"

Anthony Hopkins
"The Two Popes"

Al Pacino
"The Irishman"

Brad Pitt
"Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood"

Wesley Snipes
"Dolemite is My Name"

Kang-ho SONG
"Parasite"

(Opens envelope)

Alright, and the OYL goes to... BRAD PITT, "Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood"!



Alright, I think that's his second time winning this award. I'd have to check, I didn't hire the guy to look up the stats this time. 

(Checks blog online for OYL Award statistics)

Eh, yep, his second win in the category, and fourth win overall. Wow! Alright, I'll be here forever if I have to look through every statistic. 

Okay, up next the OYL Award for Best Documentary Feature. 

(Grabs envelope)

There are ten nominees, the maximum, in the category, and the award goes to the film's directors and producers. The nominees are...

(Clicks on montage)

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Always in Season
    Producers: Jessica Devaney and Jacqueline Olive

American Factory
    Director/Producers: Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert
    Producers: Julie Parker Benello and Jeff Reichert

Athlete A
    Directors: Bonni Cohen and Jon Shenk
    Producers: Julie Parker Benello and Jennifer Sey

Black Mother
    Director/Producer: Khalik Allah
    Producer: Leah Giblin

Citizen K
    Director/Producer: Alex Gibney
    Producers: John Battsek, George Chignell, Erin Edeiken and P.J. van Sandwijk

For Sama
    Director/Producer: Waad Al-Kateab
    Director: Edward Watts

The Great Hack
   Director/Producer: Karim Amer
   Director: Jehane Noujaim
   Producers: Geralyn White Dreyfous, Judy Korin and Pedro Kos

Knock Down the House
   Director/Producer: Rachel Lears
   Producers: Robin Blotnick and Sarah Olson

Rolling Thunder Revue: A Bob Dylan Story by Martin Scorsese
   Director: Martin Scorsese
   Producers: Margaret Bodde and Jeff Rosen

They Shall Not Grow Old
    Director/Producer: Peter Jackson
    Producer: Clare Olssen

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"FOR SAMA"!



Alright, the next category is Best Adapted Screenplay. There are nine nominees this year.

(Stares intently at computer screen momentarily)

Ehhh, I'll find it here... There it is. And the nominees are...

(Clicks on montage)

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Dark Waters
    Mario Correa and Matthew Michael Carnahan

Frozen II
    Story/Screenplay: Jennifer Lee
    Story: Chris Buck, Marc E. Smith, Kristin Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez
    Additional Screenplay Material: Allison Schroeder

Hustlers
    Lorene Scafaria

Jojo Rabbit
    Taika Waititi

Just Mercy
    Daniel Destin Cretton and Andrew Lanham

Little Women
    Greta Gerwig

Luce
    J.C. Lee and Julius Onah

Mouthpiece
    Amy Nostbakken & Norah Sadava and Patricia Rozema

Transit
    Christian Petzold

And the OYL Award goes to....

(Grabs envelope. Opens envelope)

"LITTLE WOMEN", GRETA GERWIG!



Now, for the Original Screenplay category. There's ten nominees, the maximum, and they are....

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
The Art of Self-Defense
    Riley Stearns

Ash is Purest White
    Zhangke JIA

Knives Out
    Rian Johnson

Marriage Story
    Noah Baumbach

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
    Quentin Tarantino

Pain and Glory
    Pedro Almodovar

Parasite
    BONG Joon-ho and Jin-won HAN

Portrait of a Lady on Fire
    Celine Sciamma

Uncut Gems
    Ronald Bronstein, Josh Safdie and Benny Safdie

Us
    Jordan Peele

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"PARASITE", BONG Joon-ho and Jin-won HAN!



Alright, only the biggest categories left. Let's start with Best Actor, 'cause that should never be the last award of the night, Soderbergh!

(Long pause, David grabs envelope)

There ten nom-, yeah, I'm still angry at that, there are ten nominees, the maximum, in the category of Best Actor, and they are:

BEST ACTOR
Antonio Banderas
"Pain and Glory"

Daniel Craig
"Knives Out"

Robert De Niro
"The Irishman"

Leonardo DiCaprio
"Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood"

Adam Driver
"Marriage Story"

Taron Egerton
"Rocketman"

Daniel Kaluuya
"Queen & Slim"

Eddie Murphy
"Dolemite is My Name"

Jonathan Pryce
"The Two Popes"

Adam Sandler
"Uncut Gems"

Man, these acting categories have all been tough this year. 

(Deep breath)

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope, long pause)

ANTONIO BANDERAS, for "Pain and Glory"!



Alright, next up, Best Actress. There are ten nominees, the maximum allowed in the category, and the nominees are...:

(David clicks montage)

BEST ACTRESS
Karen Allen
"Colewell"

Jessie Buckley
"Wild Rose"

Adele Haenel
"Portrait of a Lady on Fire"

Scarlett Johansson
"Marriage Story"

Noemie Merlant
"Portrait of a Lady on Fire"

Lupita Nyong'o
"Us"

Saorise Ronan
"Little Women"

Jodie Turner-Smith
"Queen & Slim"

Susanne Wolff
"Styx"

Tao ZHAO
"Ash is Purest White"

And the OYL Award goes to... 

(David picks up and opens envelope.)

LUPITA NYONG'O, for "Us"!



Alright, next up, is Best Director. There are ten nominees, the maximum in the category and those nominees are....

(Clicks on montage)

BEST DIRECTOR
Noah Baumbach
"Marriage Story"

BONG Joon-ho
"Parasite"

Greta Gerwig
"Little Women"

Zhangke JIA
"Ash is Purest White"

Rian Johnson
"Knives Out"

Sam Mendes
"1917"

Jordan Peele
"Us"

Patricia Rozema
"Mouthpiece"

Celine Sciamma
"Portrait of a Lady on Fire"

Quentin Tarantino
"Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood"

(Picks up envelope)

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

BONG JOON-HO, "Parasite"!



Alright, we're at the end people. And the final-

(David grabs for the envelope, only to realize that the pile is gone, and the last envelope is missing.)

Final category, of the night...

(David scours near his desk, looking around and on the floor, slightly concerned.) 

Best Picture! If I can find the-eh-... where the hell did that...-

(Just then, the Zoom on his computer starts ringing. David sign forlornly. He pauses for a moment, before answering.)

What is is Conan?

CONAN
You looking for this?

(Conan holds up the envelope with the words BEST PICTURE written on the front.) 

DAVID
How in the blue Hell did you get that?

CONAN
I didn't bribe your accountants! Anyway, I got your Best Picture envelope, see!

DAVID
Yes, I see.

CONAN
And I thought I'd announce the winner to end the show?! 

(David pauses for a moment)

DAVID
You know, I have the master list of the winners here, I could just look it up and announce it that way.

(David grabs a tri-folded piece of paper from under his screen. Conan looks a little shaken)

CONAN
I did not know you had that, actually; that's always been there?

(David nods head yes)

CONAN
Huh. 

(Conan looks sad. David, after pausing a few moments, sighs in contempt.) 

DAVID
Alright, I'm gonna regret this, but what-the-hell, if you promise never to show up at these again, you can announce Best Picture, alright.

CONAN
Really?! 

DAVID
Yeah, why not. Let me segue to the montage first. As always, there are ten nominees in the category of Best Picture. The Award goes to the film's producers. The nominees are:

(David clicks on the final montage)

BEST PICTURE
1917
    Producers: Pippa Harris and Jayne-Ann Tenggren

Ash is Purest White
    Producers: Shozo ICHIYAMA and Shaokun XIANG

Frozen II
    Producer: Peter Del Vecho

Knives Out
    Producers: Leopold Hughes and Rian Johnson

Little Women
    Producers: Denise Di Novi, Amy Pascal and Robin Swicord

Marriage Story
    Producers: Noah Baumbach and David Heyman

Mouthpiece
    Producers: Christina Piovesan, Patricia Rozema and Jennifer Shin

Parasite
    Producers: BONG Joon-ho, Sin-ae KWAK and MOON Yang Kwon

Portrait of a Lady on Fire
    Producer:  Benedict Couvreur

Us
    Producers: Jason Blum, Ian Cooper, Sean McKittrick and Jordan Peele

(CONAN)
And the OYL Award goes to...

(Conan rips open the envelope

"PARASITE"!
 


(DAVID)
Alright, thanks Conan. You're restraining order will be arriving shortly.

CONAN 
You're welcome. 

(David x's out of Zoom.)

Alright, Everyone, thanks for joining us. Congrats to the winners and nominees, and we'll try to do better next year. 



All the awards are voted on by the employees of David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews. The votes are tabulated by our accountants. The results of those tabulations are not made public until the envelopes are opened On the day of the ceremonies.

The 10th Annual One-Year-Later Awards were sponsored by, Patreon. The only way to make money on the internet. Huh, I should really get one of those.







IN MEMORIAM

Steve Golin
(1955-2019)
NOMINEE: Best Picture-"Spotlight"

Herbert Kretzmer
(1925-2020)
NOMINEE: Best Adapted Screenplay-"Les Miserables"

Marc Pilcher
(1967-2021)
NOMINEE: Best Makeup and Hairstyling-"Beauty and the Beast"
NOMINEE: Best Makeup and Hairstyling-"Mary Queen of Scots"

   Christopher Plummer
(1929-2021)
NOMINEE: Best Supporting Actor-"Beginnings"
NOMINEE: Best Actor-"Barrymore"

Jean-Marc Vallee
(1963-2021)
NOMINEE: Best Editing-"Wild" (Nominated as "John Mac McMurphy)


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