Monday, August 31, 2020

MY COLLECTIVE WORKS: "MAN vs. NATURE" , a short film script by David Baruffi

Oh-kay, I'm gonna try this again. 

A few months back, after there was little-to-nothing that I felt like writing about, and with no really compelling backup blog idea to work on, and major posts not quite ready, I decided to post one of my older pieces of fictional writing, in this case, a monologue I had performed called "Rest, Peacefully". You can read that post at the link, it's under the title, "My Collective Works":

Well, I didn't intend to post another one of my older such writings, but I tried writing like three other blogposts for this post, and none of them felt like anything worth writing about, even for a Mixed Bag Blog, so, I guess this is a somewhat regular series now. Anyway, this is a short, (And I do mean, "Short") screenplay I wrote back in college that people seem to like, called "Man vs. Nature" . We tried to shoot a version of it once, not this script exactly, there was a guy, Marco Ginobbi, who took the script and did an extended draft and that was the one that was shot, but like pretty much everything else so far of mine, it died in the editing room. It's possible that others along the way have tried shooting a version of this; I'm shown others it in the past who were looking for a short script to make on a budget or for a school project, but other then that, not much else I want to say. I wrote it years ago.... Hope you enjoy it. Thanks.

Oh, and P.S.: I had no idea what Youtube clip to post here this time, so-eh, um...- (Shrugs) at the bottom of this post is the Pilot episode of "All-American Girl". I don't know why; I'm in a Margaret Cho mood I guess.

"Man vs. Nature"


David Baruffi



Rain and thunder can be heard as MAN sits on a couch watching TV. He picks up a can of soda from the coffeetable in front of him, sips it, and then grabs his TV remote. He starts flipping channels quickly but after a few moments, the TV stops on a nature program and Man is suddenly unable to flip channels. He keeps pressing the button, but still, nothing happens. Concerned, Man looks at his remote and presses the power button, only to find the TV not turning off and the light at the top of the remote not blinking. He turns the remote over and takes out one of the two AAA batteries and puts it back in again to test them. He starts pressing the power button again but still no flashing light.

God damn it.

Man stares at the TV, now stuck on a nature program and he becomes annoyed. Calmly, Man gets out from his chair and heads to the kitchen next to the living room. He goes into a pantry and takes out a small box, which he brings back to the living room, and sits back down on the couch. He puts the box on the coffeetable next to the remote and opens it to reveal a bunch of old batteries, many different brands and sizes. He goes through the batteries for a few moments. He picks up one small battery and looks at it closely while holding it between his thumb and forefinger. Frustrated, he puts the battery down. He than picks up a similar sized battery and does the same thing. After doing this a few times, constantly not finding the correct size, AAA, he gets more aggravated.

God, damn it.

Annoyed, Man pushes the box away. He notices the nature program on the TV which is now visually boring him. He picks up his remote and starts trying to change the channel, forgetting that the remote doesn’t work. Realizing his stupidity, he takes the remote and bangs himself in the head with it. Frustrated, he takes out the non-working batteries in the remote and put them aside on the coffeetable. He sits and thinks for a second before getting back up and heading over to the kitchen pantry again. He then picks up a slightly larger box and brings that to the coffeetable, pushing aside the AA batteries that are now scattered on the coffeetable, and again sits back down. He opens the box revealing old remote controls. He picks up the remotes, and starts looking at the battery sections of them to see if there are any left in them. In the second remote he picks up, after the first remote was empty, he finds two AAA batteries in it and takes them out. He puts the batteries into his current remote and begins pressing the power button, only to find that these batteries don’t work either. He takes the batteries out of the remote and puts them on the table. He goes back to the box, and starts going through the remotes again. The next two are empty, but the next remote contains batteries inside and pulls one of them out of the remote. Unfortunately, Man looks at the remote and finds that it’s another AA battery. Frustrated again, he searches the rest of the remotes, finally picking up the last remote and opening it up, finding it empty. Before dismissing this remote, he ponders this last remote, holding it and visually studying it, trying to recall what the remote was originally used for. Unable to recall, he puts it back in the box with the rest of the remotes, and sits back down.

As Man looks at the nature program on the TV, he looks around trying to think of somewhere where there might be two AAA batteries in his house, but fails. He hears thunder outside. He watches the nature program for the next few moments depressed that he no longer has a remote. After a few moments, he finally realizes his last option. Concerned, he pauses for a few moments, takes a gulp before slowly getting up out of his chair and walking towards the TV. When he gets close enough to it, he carefully kneels over it. He places his hand underneath the TV’s screen and finds a button. He pauses, worried, but then he presses the button, which suddenly changes the channel, taking the nature show off. He takes a deep breath, still fairly calm, but then continues pushing the button for the next few moments until he finds a sporting event on the TV. Calm, he stands fully up and begins to turn towards his couch.

Man pauses slightly followed by an "I-learned-something" hum. Relieved, he heads back to the couch and retakes his seat. Calmed and relaxed, he picks up his can of soda and takes a sip, happy at the prospects of watching the sporting event. As he puts the can back onto the coffeetable, a loud thunder is heard. Then an electrical charge is heard and immediately the TV, the lights and all the power in Man’s house goes off, leaving the room in total blackness and quiet.

MAN (o.s.)
Ah, God damn it!


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