2017 OSCARS POST-MORTEM: "THE SHAPE OF WATER" AND UPSETS! UPSETS! UPSETS! I'M UPSET, MY DAMN ABC FEED WENT OFF, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT THE END?!?!?!!

As I write the Oscars post-mortem, I'm still unable to get ABC on my TV. I'm not sure why, apparently it's a local thing 'cause a friend of mine from the Nevada Film Office said the same thing to me on Twitter and I had to piggyback off a FB's friend's of mine's live stream to watch the network just completely...- I don't know what. The In Memoriam started, and then, boom, ABC, gone from all three TV's of mine. I'm sure it's an issue with the digital connection, or whatever but, my ABC's out and I don't know what the hell happened.

So, anyway, thanks Palatasai for letting me piggyback off your FB livefeed. Well, "The Shape of Water" broke the SAG Ensemble streak; I considered it an upset, I had it in 4th place going in and did not believe had a real shot at winning,... it's not my predictions were good beforehand anyway, so... I guess it deserves it. "The Shape of Water" had the best night, with four Oscars, including Picture and Director, which apparently go together again. It also took home Production Design and Original Score, and that's the first time a film won only those four Oscars. Weird combination. Also, one of only five films, to win Best Picture with a female as a credited screenwriter. "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" was the last, (Why is it always fantasy) and you have go back to like, "Rebecca" to see that previously. Seriously, it's that long apart.

Acting awards went paint, with Frances McDormand's and Sam Rockwell winning for Lead Actress and Supporting Actor respectively for "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri", and McDormand had every female nominee stand up and insist on an Inclusion Rider. Or something like that, awesome! (Again, I'm recapping the ending a bit from 3rd degree scraps.) Gary Oldman won his Oscar for "Darkest Hour" and Allison Janney took Supporting Actress for "I, Tonya".  (P.S. If you don't know what an Inclusion Rider is, look it up. I love it when the stars use really insider Hollywood talk)

Jimmy Kimmel, was okay hosting, not great, not spectacular, although the show had it's moments all the way through. I liked that Mark Bridges, the Costume Designer for "Phantom Thread" took home a jetski, for shortest acceptance speech, that was a fun joke, although I liked it better when Billy Crystal gave away a TV back when he hosted for the 2000 Oscars. He didn't have a TV onstage though, and maybe I just like TV's more than jetskis, but that was still nice.

Jordan Peele became the first African-American to win for Original Screenplay, btw for "Get Out" and James Ivory, became the oldest Oscar winner winning for Best Adapted Screenplay for "Call Me By Your Name".

"A Fantastic Woman" became Chile's first Best Foreign Language Film winner and it's star Daniela Vega was the first trans performer to present at the Oscars. There were a lot of interesting presenters. Despite this being the 90th Oscars, they brought a few old stars back, Eva Marie Saint, Rita Moreno, who wore her old Oscar dress for when she won for "West Side Story", 'cause she's a freak of nature. They didn't go all out with it though like they have in the past. Annabella Sciorra presented, which was interesting and tense. Rose McGowen would've been a better fuck you to Harvey Weinstein, but I like the subtle touch on that one.

What else, "Dunkirk" did really well, winning Editing and both Sound categories, that was actually the biggest winner outside of "The Shape of Water", so this was not a year for the actors. I can't remember the last time, the two big winners at the Oscars both got shut out in Acting. Remind me to look that one up when I have more time, and less annoyed at my TV. (Flips channel) Oh, great, now my ABC affiliate's working. Sonofabitch.

"Darkest Hour" won the Makeup Oscar, which was nice I loved Kazuhiro Tsuji's speech about Gary Oldman, 'cause Gary talked him out of retirement to do that makeup job, and it's nice to see that they both got rewards this year. And he had never won before, and he's a legendary makeup guy.

Speaking of never won before, Roger A. Deakins, the streak is over at 14, "Blade Runner 2049" won Cinematography and Visual Effects this year. I guess the ape vote was split with "War for the Planet of the Apes" and "Kong: Skull Island". The Short categories were all interesting. Animated Short went to "Dear Basketball" which means that Kobe Bryant is an Oscar winner, 'cause he never wins enough, so good for him. (Sigh) Also, in things I got wrong, "Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405" won in an upset for Documentary Short, the documentary about the troubled artist was quite touching and "The Silent Child" won Live-Action Short, so both Live-Action Short and Best Picture had lead characters that spoke in sign language. That's odd. (Shrugs) Okay.

"Coco" won two Oscars, winning Animated Feature and in a bit of an upset won Best Original Song. The performances btw were okay, although if you ask me Kaela Settle gave the starmaking performance of a lifetime, that was the highlight at the Oscars for me. Sorry for Diane Warren's losing streak to continue on, but, oh well.

They gave Agnes Varda the Honorary Oscar earlier this year, but "Icarus" pulled off the upset for Best Documentary which, makes sense, it's timely considering voting was during the Olympics and also, Netflix, it's their first win outside of Documentary Short now; nothing won for "Mudbound" but that's a big win for them.

Overall, this was a less-exciting Oscars, which, frankly considering last year, I'm happy about. Nice touch also bringing back Faye and Warren to present Best Picture at the end. There were good speeches here and there, I like how everybody had their own little thing. It was a good, quiet, subtle elbow-jerking to the rest of the world, instead of being insistent on them, and everybody seemed happy and defiant in one way or another, which I think is the right tone. They've could've done with doing something different than just monologues and the occasional legend presenter, but I think this was a good year not to experiment too much and they didn't. They gave us a nice regular Oscar shows and that's all we needed and all we wanted this year.

Now, if only I didn't miss the last half-hour or so because my ABC affiliate's light went out...! (Annoyed sigh) I don't know what happened with that, I'm sure I'll find out eventually, or not, knowing this town, but...- (Sigh)

Also, don't look at all my predictions, I did terrible this year. I am determined that one year I will go perfect predicting the Oscars, I promise.... Just not this time.


POST-SCRIPT:
Okay, this is two-, no, three days after the Oscars now, and yes, KTNV the Las Vegas ABC affiliate had a technical snafu of some kind and a good portion of the Las Vegas audience, myself included, were unable to watch the Oscars for the last,- 45 minutes or so. From the beginning of the "In Memoriam" onward, and it didn't come back on until two hours later. The article below explains what they know,
https://www.reviewjournal.com/entertainment/tv/technical-issues-disrupt-oscars-show-for-some-las-vegas-viewers/

no, the Review-Journal didn't post any of my tweets on the issue, but,...- honestly, just, happy to know that it wasn't me going crazy and that there was an actual issue. So, yeah, overall, I don't know what the technical issue was, but if you're wondering why this Post-Mortem is much more, tonally disappointing than it probably should be, this is why. Maybe I shouldn't let something like that throw me off so much, but it did, and that's wrong, 'cause this wasn't the Academy's fault, this time, but man, that was annoying.