Wednesday, January 4, 2017

THE 6TH ANNUAL ONE-YEAR-LATER AWARDS! HONORING THE BEST IN CINEMA FROM THE YEAR BEFORE LAST! Presented by "David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews"

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
Welcome to the 6th Annual One-Year-Later Awards! Honoring the best in cinema from the year before!

(Music plays as audience cheers and claps and is panned over)

And now, our host for the 6th Annual OYL Awards, the 43rd President of the United States, George W. Bush!

(Music switches immediately to uproarious rendition of "Hail to the Chief" as the screen turns into a giant Red, White & Blue flag, as WILL FERRELL, enters stage left, to a surprised audiences' cheers and applause. He waves and motions to the audience as he walks center stage, which is about when the music finally dies down)

WILL FERRELL
(As George W. Bush)
You're welcome.

(Audience laughs)

WILL FERRELL
It's fun to, be here, I-, I gotta admit, I will admit, when I found out I was invited to host the-eh, One-Year-Later Awards, I was kinda shocked. First thing I said, was, "What the hell are the One-Year-Later Awards"?

(Audience laughs)

But not only, but, because I don't-eh, I don't usually make too many public appearances lately. It's, not really my style, you know? I've been asked to make a lot more lately, as-eh, apparently, people started "missing me".

(Audience laughs)

I wasn't aware, but apparently, I've been something of a,
(Finger quotes)
Mem?

(Audience laughs)

Apparently, there'd be a picture, of me, with the question, "Miss me yet?" scrolled on top of it, and everybody kept responding, "No." But, very suddenly, they started seeing that mem,-, and, eh, suddenly I've become quite missed by everybody?

(Audience laughs)

I don't know, quite how that happened, but it turns out it had a lot to do with the election. Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him either.

(Audience cheers)

Thank you. Thank you. But, Jesus, 2016 sucked!

(Audience really cheers!)

I feel bad for the poor sucker who has to do this next year, 'cause we're talking about 2015 today. I mean, what's that guy gonna talk about? Monumental political (BLEEP)-ups and  death!

(Audience slightly laughs)

I know, a lot about one of those.

(Long pause)

Well, at least I thought I did. I thought I was, quite well-versed in political (BLEEP)-ups, but...-

(Audience laughs)

Anyway, we're not talking about that anyway. We're talking about movies. The best in movies from the year before. Now-eh, I'm not a much of a film guy to be honest anymore, I did used to like movies a lot. You might, remember, when I was in office, there was a movie that I quite enjoyed, back when in office. You might have seen it, it was called, "Austin Powers in Goldmember".

(Audience cheers, sarcastically)

Yeah, that was a fun movie.
(Imitating Dr. Evil)
"One million dollars!" You remember that? Yeah, I do, that's when I liked movies. After that, though, I wasn't as keen on them. I was the subject of a few of them if you recall.

(Audience laughs)

You made one of those, right Michael?

(Will Ferrell points to Michael Moore, Michael nods in agreement.)

Yeah, I remember. You, eh, you didn't, what the-eh, what the phrase, you didn't portray me in a very "positive light" there, did ya Michael?

(Michael shrugs in agreement as audience laughs)

Yeah, that was very disappointing, I must say. I liked your new one a bit more.

(Michael mouths "thank you")

Yeah, I wish I knew there were so many other places in the world to invade.

(Audience laughs)

They got free college in Slovenia! I wish I knew that, I would've told all our schools to start teachings all the kids how to speak, Sloven!

(Audience laughs)

I knew I invaded the wrong country, but I didn't know how wrong I was.

(Audience laughing riotously)

Anyway, nowadays, out on my ranch, when I'm not on vacation, I spend my days, painting. That's my art form, painting, and in honor, of-eh, being asked to come here, I thought, I'd make a few paintings, that I hope represent some of the nominated films tonight. So, I brought a small slideshow, play it Sam.



This is-eh, this looks like a painting of Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, yeah, I work a lot in oils, I know, big shock.

(Slight laugh)

This is actually, my reaction to watching "Ex Machina".

(Audience laughs)

Yeah, now, it kinda makes sense, I thought old Ehud would be good an image for "Ex Machina". Okay, next one, please.



This is, obviously a more reflective piece, it's actually inspired by "Tomorrowland" as you can tell. I like to do my pondering on the land of tomorrow, while I'm in the bath, so, that's where that came from. More of a still life, than a portrait. Okay, next one.



(Audience laughs)

Yeah, this one, is clearly, "Fifty Shades of Grey", and what perfect model for that, 'cause he's quite, well, not, fifty, but quite a few shades of grey in him. Okay, next one.



Yeah, this is, well, it's supposed to be "The Danish Girl", but I used Angela Merkel who's German, as the portrait inspiration. It dawned on me that I didn't really know any girl from Danishland, and-eh, I thought this would be the closest thing. Okay, next one:



Yeah, that's old Putey, eh, honestly this was supposed to be "Fury Road", but I think it looks more like "Thunderdome" to me.

(Audience laughing)

That's-eh, quite creepy, but it's more realistic when you meet him up close. Next one.



(Audience shrieking and laughing)

Uh, yeah, Putin again, um, this one's obviously "Trainwreck"; so it's-a, a little more graphic than I normally do, 'cause..., eh, yeah, And this last one:



(Audience laughs)

It's not of a movie, it's a portrait of Jay Leno, He's a funny guy, and my Secret Service man, suggested I paint a portrait of him, and present it to him. He'd say, he'd really enjoy it. Here's my Secret Service guy's right offstage here, come up and say hello.

(Reluctantly entering stage left, dressed in traditional Secret Service suit and glasses, is CONAN O'BRIEN" who gets an immediate loud reactionary laugh)

Yeah, thanks, I just wanted to say, thanks for recommending me do that Jay Leno portrait for him. He seems to really like it. He said, "He couldn't believe I would do such a thing to him!"

CONAN O'BRIEN
(Quietly)
Thank you.

WILL FERRELL
Oh, I owe that all to you, that was your idea and now,...- Now, I want to do something for you, I've heard that there's something that you really enjoy, is that right?

CONAN O'BRIEN
(Worried, trying to stay in character)
No, there's, uh, there's nothing I really like.

WILL FERRELL
Oh shucks, that's not what I've heard.

CONAN O'BRIEN
Please don't do this Will?

WILL FERRELL
I've heard, that you like leprechauns.

CONAN O'BRIEN
I promised I'd do this for the Leno joke, not for the leprechaun bit again.

WILL FERRELL
Oh, we're doing it, buddy, hit it.

(Will strips off his suit quickly revealing a short, tied jungle green top and lime green with a leprechaun picture on the back of the tights, as Michael McDonald's "I Keep Forgetting" begins to play and Will Ferrell, now dawning his sexy leprechaun outfit does a lap dance/dry humping of Conan as . Conan immediately tries to run and hide in frustration and anger, as both of them exit stage left, Will still trying to hump and arouse Conan as they exit. Song quietly plays off as the laughter wears down)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
To announce the first ever One-Year-Later Award for Best Original Song, a past nominee for Supporting Actress for "The Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete" and a nominee tonight as a Cast Member for "Chi-Raq", Jennifer Hudson!

(JENNIFER HUDSON enters stage right to applause. She approaches the podium at center stage)

JENNIFER HUDSON
Since the beginning of film, music has played a part in the film viewing experience, when it was a piano player or a whole orchestra playing the score over a silent film. And when sound came in, we soon got the musical, and with that, original songs that were made specifically for a feature film. It's my honor to present the nine nominees for the OYL Award for Best Original Song,

(On screen, a montage of the nominees as they're listed with pre-recorded vocals from the presenters is played.)


BEST ORIGINAL SONG
Anomalia-"None of Them Are You"-Music: Carter Burwell; Lyrics: Charlie Kaufman
Chi-Raq-"Pray 4 My City"-Music/Lyric: Nick Cannon, Music: Rico Cox, Robert Arperman, and Leroy Griffin, Jr.
Creed-"Waiting for My Moment"-Music: Tomas Goransson, Lyrics: Donald Glover, Ludwig Emil, Vince Staples and Ryan Coogler
Danny Collins-"Don't Look Down"-Music/Lyric: Ryan Adams and Don Was
Danny Collins-"Hey, Baby Doll"-Music/Lyric: Ciaran Gribban and Greg Akar
The Diary of a Teenage Girl-"Dreamsong"-Music/Lyrics: Nate Heller
Fifty Shades of Grey-"Love Me Like You Do"-Music/Lyrics: Ilya, Savan Kotecha, Max Martin, Tove Lo & Ali Payman
The Hunting Ground-"Til It Happens to You"-Music/Lyrics: Diane Warren and Lady Gaga
Shaun the Sheep Movie-"Feels Like Summer"-Music/Lyrics: Tim Wheeler, Ilan Eshkeri and Nick Hodgson

And the One-Year-Later Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"Love You Like You Do" from "Fifty Shades of Grey". Ilya, Savan Kotech, Max Martin, Tove Lo & Ali Payman.

  

   

(Ellie Goulding's "Love Me Like You Do" plays as all five winners slowly walk towards the stage, somewhat surprised by their win. Audience slightly cheers,  as each winner, one by one collect their Awards that Jennifer Hudson hands them. They turn, and wave to the audience awkwardly as they look towards them for a moment, they are then, escorted stage right by Jennifer Hudson, Ali Payman and Tove Lo leading, while Ilya, Savan Kotecha and Max Martin trail behind them. As they leave, Will Ferrell re-enters stage left, still in his Sex"Spy Leprechaun outfit, looking nervous. Audience laughing)

WILL FERRELL
I-uh, I didn't pack a second suit, so, I'm, I'm pretty much gonna be dressed like this the whole time.

(Audience laughs. Awkward pause. Audience laughs again)

Does anybody have a suit I can borrow?

(Audience laughs)

No? Well, this is gonna be awkward. To present the award for Best Supporting Actor,-

(Audience laughs again, as Will Ferrell stumbles his line from embarrassment)

last year's OYL Award Winner for Best Supporting Actress for "Boyhood", Patricia Arquette!

(PATRICIA ARQUETTE enters stage left, as Will Ferrell runs off in the same direction, passing her as he exits, getting a laugh out of Patricia, shaking her head slightly as she approaches the microphone.)

PATRICIA ARQUETTE
The ten nominees for the OYL Award for Best Supporting Actor, portray some of the most memorable characters from the past year and trying to determine the best performance out of ten great actor portraying ten very different characters is a daunting task. From a helpful priest, to a cutthroat real estate mogul, to a mad scientist, to a genius computer engineer, to a Russian spy, to an African warlord, to a Boston newspaper reporter to an abusive homeless heroin addict, to a get-rich schemer who's having an affair with a teenage girl, to a computer millionaire, trying to get in better shape, to impress the girl he pines for, this past year found some memorable supporting character, out of the most unusual and diverse of places and films. And the nominee are....


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jim Broadbent-"Brooklyn"
Kevin Corrigan-"Results"
Idris Elba-"Beasts of No Nation"
Oscar Isaac-"Ex Machina"
Caleb Landry Jones-"Heaven Knows What"
Seth Rogen-"Steve Jobs"
Mark Ruffalo-"Spotlight"
Mark Rylance-"Bridge of Spies"
Michael Shannon-"99 Homes"
Alexander Skarsgard-"The Diary of a Teenage Girl"

And the One-Year-Later Award goes to...

(Opens envelope, smiling)

Michael Shannon, "99 Homes"! 



(Ooohs overtake the audience as another surprise winner is announce. MICHAEL SHANNON, quietly smiles and chuckles to himself, before calmly standing up and heading onstage as Antony Partos's score plays.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Michael Shannon's first win and nomination!

(Michael approaches center stage as Patrica hands Michael the Award. He mouths "Thank you" to Patricia and turns to the audience as they applaud! He and Patricia than exit stage right, music stops.)

A double-nominee tonight for Best Supporting Actress and as a cast member for "Spotlight" and a previous OYL Award winner as a cast member for "Midnight in Paris, Rachel McAdams)

(RACHEL MCADAMS enters stage left as Michael and Patricia exit stage right. She approaches the podium center stage)

RACHEL MCADAMS
Production Design, is a difficult job, they create the look of the film. It requires design and forethought that often involves architect-level plans and details, and then, Set Decorators, to execute that vision and keep that vision as perfectly precise on every take of every scene, unless the movie's animated, which means more work for the Production Designer has more to do, arguably. There are ten nominees for the OYL Award for Best Production Design, and the nominees are....


BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
Anomalisa-Production Design: John Joyce and Huy Vu
Bridge of Spies-Production Design: Adam Stockhausen; Set Decoration: Rena DeAngelo and Bernhard Henrich
Brooklyn-Production Design: Francois Seguin; Set Decoration: Jenny Oman and Louise Tremblay
Carol-Production Design: Judy Becker; Set Decoration: Heather Loeffler
The Duke of Burgundy-Production Design: Pater Sparrow, Set Decoration: Zsuzsu Mihalek
Ex Machina-Production Design: Mark Digby; Set Decoration: Michelle Day
Kingsman: The Secret Service-Production Design: Paul Kirby, Set Decoration: David Morison and Jennifer Williams
Mad Max: Fury Road-Production Design: Colin Gibson; Set Decoration: Lisa Thompson, Nikki Gardiner and Katie Sharrock
The Revenant-Production Design: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Hamish Purdy
Tomorrowland-Production Design: Scott Chambliss; Set Decoration: Lin MacDonald

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

"Mad Max: Fury Road"!

 
[NOTE: Nikki Gardiner and Katie Sharrock, not pictured]

(The Production Design crew of "Mad Max: Fury Road" cheer as their film's called! They quickly get up and head towards the stage with COLIN GIBSON and LISA THOMPSON leading the way and NIKKI GARDINER and KATIE SHARROCK, following behind as Junkie XL's "Spikey Cars" plays)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
These are the first win and nominations for Colin Gibson, Nikki Gardiner and Katie Sharrock; and the first win and second nomination for Lisa Thompson. She was previously nominated in this same category last year for "Unbroken")

(Rachel hands Colin and Lisa their award and cheer on Gardiner and Sharrock as they tentatively approach the stage to collect their awards. They all turn to the audience for a moment, and then Rachel accompanies them as they exit stage right)

A four-time OYL Award nominee, including a double nominee tonight for Best Actor and as a cast member for "The Big Short", Steve Carell!

(STEVE CARELL enters stage left, fighting off Will Ferrell as he tries to steal his jacket, constantly turning and rotating his body. Will follows Steve to the podium.)

STEVE CARELL
(With Will Ferrell hovering over him, trying to pull off his jacket from inside.)
Editing, is the backbone of the filmmaking process- Will you get off,
(Suddenly shifting away his body)
I'm not giving you my jacket.

WILL FERRELL
You don't need your jacket, it's just an oversized overcoat.

STEVE CARELL
(Shooing Will Away)
No! Get outta here! GO!

(Will reluctantly retreats stage left.)

Go to the "Men's Wearhouse" or something.

WILL FERRELL
I don't have have credit cards.

STEVE CARELL
That's not my problem, Go!

(Steve moves towards Will, shooing him offstage, he finally retreats, and fully exits stage left. Audience laughing.)

Sorry about that. Anyway, editors are awesome. Here at the ten nominees for Best Editing!

(Audience chuckles as the montage of nominees begins)


BEST EDITING
99 Homes-Ramin Bahrani
The Big Short-Hank Corwin
Creed-Claudia Castello and Michael P. Shawver
The Diary of a Teenage Girl-Marie-Helene Dozo and Koen Timmerman
Mad Max: Fury Raod-Margaret Sixel
Spotlight-Tom McArdle
Steve Jobs-Elliot Graham
Tangerine-Sean Baker
Trainwreck-William Kerr and Paul Zucker
The Walk-Jeremiah O'Driscoll

And the OYL Award goes to

(Opens envelope)

"Mad Max: Fury Road", Margaret Sixel! 



(MARGARET SIXEL kisses her husband GEORGE MILLER, before getting up and walking towards the stage as Junkie XL's "Spikey Cars" plays. )

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Margaret Sixel's first OYL Awards win and nomination!

(Steve hands Margaret her award, who graciously smiles and shakes Steve's hand before turning to the audience, again, smiling humbly and graciously for a moment. She then exits stage right alongside Steve)

To present the One-Year-Later Award for Best Documentary, Legendary Director, Alejandro Jodorowsky!

(Entering stage right, passing Steve and Margaret as he enters, is ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY, surprising nearly everyone in the audience, as he comes out to a loud roaring cheer and applause, and by the time he gets to the podium, a prolonged standing ovation.)

ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY
(Calming down motion with hands)
Thank you, I-, I'm not good with English, so I'm-a, I'll speak Spanish. Gracious.
(Starts speaking in Spanish)
Era el terma de la OYL premiado documental del ano pasado, "De Jodorowsky de Duna", y creen que eso, me permitieron, a dar el premio un ano luego de este ano. Come cineasta, no hago ningun documental de hecho genaralment mis peliculas son a menudo, demasiado raro para ser real.

(Subtitled translation that plays on screen)
I was the subject of last year's OYL Award-Winning Documentary, "Jodorowsky's Dune", and they believe that that, permitted me, to give out the One-Year-Later Award for this year. As a filmmaker, I don't make any documentaries, In fact, usually my movies are often, too weird to ever be real.

(Audience chuckles)

Thank you.
(Back to speaking Spanish)
Pero tengo gran respeto y admiracion por el arte de hacer documentales, es un monton de trabajo duro y los cineastas entre estas diez peliculas, conto algunas historias asombrosas del mundo que, probablemente no podriamos decir cualquier otra forma. Los nominados son...

(Subtitle translation)
But I have great respect and admiration for the craft of making documentaries, it is a lot of hard work, and the filmmakers between these  ten films, told some amazing stories of the world that, we probably couldn't tell any other way. The nominees are....


BEST DOCUMENTARY
Best of Enemies-Director/Producers: Robert Gordon and Morgan Neville
Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief-Director/Producer: Alex Gibney; Producers: Kristen Vaurio and Lawrence Wright
The Hunting Ground-Director: Kirby Dick; Producer: Amy Ziering
I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story-Director/Producers: Dave LaMattina and Chad Walker
Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck-Director/Producers: Brett Morgen; Producer: Danielle Renfrew Behrens
The Look of Silence-Director: Joshua Oppenheimer; Producer: Signe Byrge Sorensen
The Seven Five-Director: Tiller Russell; Producers: Eli Holzman, Aaron Saidman and Sheldon Yellen
Twinsters-Director/Producers: Samantha Futerman; Producers: Steve Brown, Yamato Cibulka, Jeff Consiglio, Kanoa Goo, Ryan Miyamoto and James J. Yi
Welcome to Leith-Director/Producers: Michael Beach Nichols and Christopher K. Walker; Producers: Joey Carey, Jenner Furst and Joshua Woltermann
Where to Invade Next-Director: Michael Moore; Producers: Carl Deal and Tia Lessin

(In broken English)
And, the Award, goes, to...

(Opens envelope)

"The Look, of Silence", "La Mirada del Silencio"! 




(The score from "The Look of Silence" by Seri Banang solemnly plays as JOSHUA OPPENHEIMER and SIGNE BYRGE SORENSEN) arise and head towards the stage with great applause.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Joshua Oppenheimer and Signe Byrge Sorensen's second nominations and first wins. They were previously nominated in this category for "The Act of Killing",

(Joshua and Signe receive the OYLs from Alejandro, shaking his hand before turning to the audience for a moment. Alejandro, confused at first, gets instructed to escort Joshua and Signe stage right, which he does. Will Ferrell then enters stage left, wearing a woman's one-piece singlet that's somewhat risque and outrageous looking, and still a couple sizes too small.)

WILL FERRELL
Tove Lo, gave me this backstage. It's one of her performance pieces.

(Laughter)

She said, I can have it, cause she stretched it out too much, I asked what happened, she said something about fighting for rights to be nude in public, I said, "Just give me the damn thing, I don't care!"

(Audience laughing big)

You can be naked and no one cares, I can be naked for about two minutes, and then it gets old! Just-,

(Audience laughing)

I then said, "Congratulation on your win," and she said "Thank you", anyway, I'm wearing this, until I find something less revealing. (Sigh) Anyway, to present the OYL Award for Outstanding Ensemble Performance, a nominee tonight for Best Actress for "Brooklyn" and a nominee last year as a member of the cast of "The Grand Budapest Hotel",- (Monologue) Oh, crap, how the hell do you pronounce that?!

(Audience laughs)

Sah-, Sa-oy-i-rizzah, Sa-oy-Irish Ronan!

(SAOIRSE RONAN enters stage right as Will Ferrell exits stage left as she approaches the podium)

SAOIRSE RONAN
The category of Best Ensemble Performance recognizes the complete performanance acting accomplishments of a feature film, from the main starring roles, to the crucial and memorable Supporting Roles, to in some case, the tiniest roles flimsiest, barely-there parts. From the title role to the dreaded "Additional Voices" credit, the awards honors and is presented to the entire cast, not just for their great individual performances, but how all these performances work well together and with each other. Whether it's the barest of stories, with the smallest of cast, to the cast of millions in the most epic of features, the award honors the film's acting, as an accredited ensemble. The ten nominated casts are.


BEST ENSEMBLE PERFORMANCES
The Big Short
Carol
Chi-Raq
The Diary of a Teenage Girl
The Hateful Eight
Inside Out
Mad Max: Fury Road
Room
Spotlight
Steve Jobs

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Open envelope)

The Cast, of "Spotlight"



(Howard Shore's "Spotlight" plays as the Cast Members of "Spotlight" that are present, stand up and head to the stage to collect their Awards)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
A four-time nominee, and a double-nominee tonight for Best Actor, and now the Winner of his 2nd consecutive OYL Award as a member of the Ensemble Cast of a film, for "Spotlight", Michael Keaton!

(MICHAEL KEATON, conspicuously absent among his cast before, enters stage right, with his arms spanned wide and he hugs and congratulates the rest of his cast members as they go and collect their Awards. He stops center and turns to the audience, along with the rest of the cast for a moment afterwards, and he stays behind, holding his OYL Award as Saoirse leads the rest of the cast to exit stage left)

MICHAEL KEATON
(Smiling, happy)
Wow! Second one in a row for these, thank you. Same thing happened to Edward last year, he came out to present, it turned out he won.
(Puts award aside on the podium)
The art of Casting is simply about finding the best actors and actresses, and getting them to be in the movie, it's finding the right actors and actresses for this particular film, and then getting them to be in the movie. And that first part is often much harder than the second. It's easy to find great actors, it's harder to find great chemistry, and that's not including finding parts that aren't easy to cast. I can do a great 5-year-old Shirley Temple,...-
(Slight pause, slight laughter from audience)
but casting me to play her in a biopic, is probably not a good idea.
(Slight pause, slight laughter from audience)
Alright, I really do do a good Shirley.
(Sings)
Oh, the goooooo-ood-ship, Lolly-pop...

(Slight pause, slight chuckles from audience)

Here are the ten nominees for Best Casting

BEST CASTING
Beasts of No Nation-Harrison Nesbit
The Big Short-Kathy Driscoll and Francine Maisler
The Diary of a Teenage Girl-Nina Henninger
Inside Out-Natalie Lyon and Kevin Reher
Mad Max: Fury Road-Nikki Barrett and Ronna Kress
Mustang-Harika Uygur
Spotlight-Kerry Barden, John Buchan, Jason Knight and Paul Schnee
Steve Jobs-Francine Maisler
Straight Outta Compton-Victoria Thomas and Cindy Tolan
The Tribe-Creative Producer: Elena Slaboshpytskyi

And the One-Year-Later Award goes to....

(Slightly struggles opening envelope, but gets it quickly.)

(Under breath)
Ah, there we go...

And the OYL goes to Nikki Barrett and Ronna Kress for "Mad Max: Fury Road"

 
(NOTE: Nikki Barrett not pictured)

(Junkie XL's "Spikey Cars" plays as NIKKI BARRETT and RONNA KRESS stand up, both somewhat overwhelmed as they head towards the stage)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
These are the first nominations and wins for Nikki Barrett and Ronna Kress!

(Michael hands them their Awards and both Nikka and Ronna turn to the audience for a moment, happy and smiling. Michael then escorts them off stage, exit stage left)

A double-nominee tonight, as a cast member of "Steve Jobs" and for Best Supporting Actress for "Predestination", Sarah Snook!

(SARAH SNOOK enters stage left, passing Michael, Nikki and Ronna as she walks on stage and approaches the podium)

SARAH SNOOK
To some extent, movie-making is just a very elaborate game of dress-up, which is why we hold the Costume Designers in such high regard, especially actors. We have a walk a lot of miles in other people's shoes, and trust me, our job gets a lot easier when those shoes and other clothes are right there for us, and fit perfectly. Here are the ten nominees for Best Costume Design.


BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Bridge of Spies-Kasia Walicka-Maimone
Brooklyn-Odile Dicks-Mireaux
Carol-Sandy Powell
Chi-Raq-Ruth E. Carter
The Danish Girl-Paco Delgado
The Diary of a Teenage Girl-Carmen Grande
Kingsman: The Secret Service-Arianne Phillips
Mad Max: Fury Road-Jenny Beavan
Star Wars: Episode VII-The Force Awakens-Michael Kaplan
Straight Outta Compton-Kelli Jones

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope, deep breath)

"Mad Max: Fury Road", Costume Design Jenny Beavan!|


(Junkie XL's "Spikey Cars" plays again, as JENNY BEAVAN stands up and leisurely walks up the aisle.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Jenny Beavan's first win and first nomination!

(Jenny gets on stage and Sarah gives her the Award, as they shake hands. Jenny turns to the audience for a moment to acknowledge them, before they both head off, exiting stage right. Will Ferrell enters stage right, annoyed and still in Tove Lo's performance singlet)

WILL FERRELL
So, this room's been full of Costume Designers the whole time!

(Audience laughs)

What the hell? Where's Tim Gunn when you need him? You guys have an hour, make me a suit real quick, come on! You're not gonna help a poor guy who forgot to get a backup suit?

(Audience chuckles Awkward pause. Audience chuckles again)

Alright, look, I'm taking a collection, I'm gonna go down to the nearest clothing store I can find, I just need to borrow somebody's coat so I don't freeze to death. It's col as (BLEEP) out!

(Will Ferrell gets off the stage and begins getting into the crowd)

Just anybody, with a jacket, I can borrow. Who's over here, Aaron Sorkin, you got a jacket?

(AARON SORKIN motions that he doesn't)

Nothing. Amy? You don't have anything?

(AMY SCHUMER shrugs no.)

You don't. Of course you guys don't I'm in the writers section, where's the stars section?

(Will moves through the crowd)

Michael Keaton, you have anything? No?

(Michael Keaton motions no, but holds up his OYL Award)

No, I don't need your award, I need-,

(Audience laughs)

Judd! Judd Apatow, c'mon? You've done a lot for my career, just let me borrow your coat?!

(JUDD APATOW shakes his head no.)

I'll do "Anchorman 3" for Adam?

(Audience laugsh, Judd raises his eyebrows, thinking about it?)

C'mon it'll be funny! Just- let me leave with some dignity?

(Judd shakes his head "nah". Will falls to his knees)

I'm begging you, Judd, please, I'm just-, I just, need to borrow your coat, so I can go get a suit, so friggin' nightmare of a joke can end.

JUDD APATOW
(Sound not catching it)
Ask a producer!

WILL FERRELL
What did you say?

JUDD APATOW
Ask a producer?

WILL FERRELL
You are a producer!

Judd shrugs in acknowledgement

JUDD APATOW
Ask a real producer

WILL FERRELL
(As he's standing up)
Ask a real-, Oh screw you, Judd Apatow, I'm never working for you again!

(Audience laughing)

Treating your friends this way. Brad! Brad Pitt!

(Will goes over to BRAD PITT, who's got a giant oversize faux fur overcoat on. Will falls directly on his knees)

Brad, I'm begging you, I just need to borrow your coat for twenty minutes? Please. I'll help you prank Clooney next time!

(Audience laughs hard)

Please, I'll do it! I'll do the sexy leprechaun on Clooney, I promise, just let me borrow your coat!

(Brad, after thinking about it, agree and he gets up and takes off his coat, to a rousing applause as he hands it to Will)

Thank you, Brad Pitt, thank you, thank you! I am forever indebted Brad Pitt! I'll adopt a bunch of kids cause of you! Thank you.

(Will puts on Brad's coat and hurries back onto the stage, audience applauded and cheering)

Alright thank you. I'm gonna head off for a few minutes. In the meantime, to present the OYL Award for Best Cinematography, a four-time OYL Award nominee, including a double-nominee tonight for Supporting Actor and as a Cast Member of "The Diary of a Teenage Girl", Alexander Skarsgard!

Will runs off stage left, passing ALEXANDER SKARSGARD as he enters stage left. He looks Will down and waves at him as he heads off while he walks to the podium.

ALEXANDER SKARSGARD
Anybody can hold a camera and turn it on. Being able to take the camera and able to manipulate the lighting and the camera itself to create striking images like no other, that's the job of the cinematographer. The ten nominees for Best Cinematography are doing their best to expand the field and realize how there's still so much we have to learn about the simple camera. The nominees are....


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Carol-Edward Lachmann
Embrace of the Serpent-David Gallego
Ex Machina-Rob Hardy
The Hateful Eight-Robert Richardson
Mad Max: Fury Road-John Seale
The Revenant-Emmanuel Lubezki
Theeb-Wolfgang Thaler
The Tribe-Valentyn Vasyanovich
Victoria-Sturla Brandth Grovlen
Youth-Luca Bigazzi

And the OYL Award goes to....

(Opens envelope)

"THE REVENANT", Emmanuel Lubezki


(Riyuchi Sakamoto's "Glass and Water Buffalo Travel" plays as EMMANUEL LUBEZKI arises from his seat to loud applause and heads towards the stage)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Emmanuel Lubezki's 4th nomination and a record, 3rd Consecutive win in the category. He's previous won for Best Cinematography for "Gravity" and "Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)" and was previously nominated for "To the Wonder"!

(Alexander hands Emmanuel his award and shakes his hand admiringly. Alexander turns to the audience where there's a few standing as well as cheering him on. He and Alexander soon exit stage right.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
A three-time nominee, including a double-nominee tonight as a Cast Member of "Mad Max: Fury Road" and for Best Actor for "Legend", Tom Hardy

(TOM HARDY comes out to big out entering stage right, passing Emmanuel and Alexander. He stops to hug and congratulate Emmanuel, patting him on the pack as he exits. Tom then proceeds to head to the podium)

TOM HARDY
Tonight I'm presenting the One-Year-Later Award for Best Animated Feature; I have no idea why.

(Audience laughs)

Seriously, I like animation, never done it. Not even a voice in a Disney film yet,  but apparently, they think me, they think animation. (Shrugs) Anyway, there's been some great animated features this past year and this is the most singularly successful year for animation at these awards, with more films finding their way into more categories than ever before. The Award is given to the films' Directors and Producers, here are the five nominees for Best Animated Feature....


BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Anomalisa-Director/Producers: Duke Johnson and Charlie Kaufman; Producers: Dino Stamatopoulos and Rosa Tran
Inside Out-Director: Pete Doctor; Producer: Jonas Rivera
The Peanuts Movie-Director: Steve Martino; Producers: Paul Feig, Bryan Schulz, Craig Schulz, Michael J. Travers and Cornelius Uliano
Shaun the Sheep Movie-Directors: Mark Burton and Richard Starzak; Producers: Paul Kewley and Julie Lockhart
When Marnie Was There-Director: Himomasa Yonebayashi; Producers: Koji Hoshino and Yoshiaki Nishimura

And the OYL Award goes to

(Opens envelope)

"INSIDE OUT"! 


(Michael Giacchino's "Dream Productions" plays as PETE DOCTOR and JONAS RIVERA get up, and hug and shake hands of some of their friends and family before heading up to the stage)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Pete Doctor's first win and one of his four nominations tonight, including his nominations for Director, Original Screenplay and as a Cast Member of "Inside Out". This is Jonas Rivera's first win of two nominations tonight, he is nominated as a Producer in the Best Picture category for "Inside Out".

(Pete and Jonas hit the stage and collect their awards from Tom and happily turn to the audience for a moment, proudly showing their OYL Awards, particularly Pete. Not cockily or obsessively, but overly happy and joyful. They then, exit stage right at Tom's guiding.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
Last year's winner of the One-Year-Later Award for Best Supporting Actor for "Whiplash", J.K. Simmons!

(J.K. SIMMONS enter stage left to a rousing applause as he quickly heads toward the podium, centerstage)

A reporter struggles with her faith as she continues searching a devastating story, a prisoner, who will do worst than anybody to escape, a time traveler caught in a paradox, a movie star's assistant who's helping her boss sort through a tough roll, a marketing executive who's caught into the web of her eccentric genius boss, a mother who's a little too lax to really parent her daughter, a supporting wife who's struggling to deal with her husband's drastic life change, an artsy Manhattanite who's dying from cancer, a New York modernite, who manages to inspire while barely able to matriculate adulthood, and a young adult Manhattanite, who finds love with the right person, but in the wrong time. These are ten amazing character, portrayed by the amazingly talented nominees for Best Supporting Actress, and they are....


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Greta Gerwig-"Mistress America"
Jennifer Jason Leigh-"The Hateful Eight"
Rooney Mara-"Carol"
Rachel McAdams-"Spotlight"
Cynthia Nixon-"James White"
Sarah Snook-"Predestination"
Kristen Stewart-"Clouds of Sils Maria"
Alicia Vikander-"The Danish Girl"
Kristen Wiig-"The Diary of a Teenage Girl"
Kate Winslet-"Steve Jobs"

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

GRETA GERWIG for "Mistress America"


(Dean & Britta's "Mistress America" plays as a shocked GRETA GERWIG mouths "Oh My God" and puts her hands in front of her mouth, before finally, nervously getting up and walking to the stage, somewhat dumbstruck)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Greta Gerwig's first win and one of her two nominations tonight; she is also nominated as a writer for "Mistress America". She has become the first performer to win a One-Year-Later Award for Acting in a movie that was written by the actor.

(Greta walks up the stage, and receives her award from J.K, who shakes her hand and motions her to turn to the audience for a moment. She does, and soon catches her breath. After a moment of cheers and applause and mouthing "Thank you", J.K. escorts her off stage, exiting stage left.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
A nominee tonight for Best Actress for "Clouds of Sils Maria", Juliette Binoche!

(JULIETTE BINOCHE enters stage left, passing Greta and J.K. as she heads towards the podium.)

JULIETTE BINOCHE
I'm here to present the OYL Award for Foreign Language Film, because I'm French.

(Delayed laughter from audience)

Yeah, 'cause I'm French, that's the reason. This year's ten nominees spread across three continents and tell wide-ranging stories involving a family broken apart by an affair, a young girl who befriends ghosts who frequent her seaside mansion, a young Bedoin boy trying to escape the perils of World War I through the Jordanian desert, a Hungarian Jew during the Holocaust trying to bury his son, a young African girl growing up in the outskirts of Paris, a family of sisters who's restrictive parents self-imprisoning leads to drastic choice, a group of kids at a Private deaf school dealing in criminal activities, a young classical pianist who befriends some shady characters and has one way-too wild night, a rich family's dynamic shifting when their Maid's child begins to live with them, and a soldier trying to keep his family together after a decision on the battlefield backfires. The Award is given to the film's director; the nominees are...


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Girlhood-Celine Sciamma (France)
Mustang-Deniz Gamze Erguven (France/Turkey)
The Second Mother-Anna Muylaert (Brazil)
Son of Saul- Laszlo Nemes (Hungary)
Theeb-NajiAbu Nowar (Jordan)
The Tribe-Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi (Ukraine)
Victoria-Sebastian Schipper (Germany)
A War-Tobias Lindholm (Denmark)
When Marnie was There-Hiromasa Yonebayashi (Japan)
A Wolf at the Door-Fernando Coimbra (Brazil)

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Rips open envelope)

"THE TRIBE", Director Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi from Ukraine!



(Eerily, no music plays as MYROSLAV SLABOSHPYTSKYI stands up and walks towards the stage)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi's first win and nomination; he's also nominated tonight for Best Original Screenplay for "The Tribe". This is the first film from Ukraine to be nominated and win for Foreign Language Film.

(Myroslav gets a kiss on the cheek and handshake from Juliette as she hands him the OYL Award. He humbly turns to the audience for a moment acknowledging them. Juliette then escorts him off, exiting stage right)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
Last year's winner of the OYL Award for Best Adapted Screenplay for "Wild", Nick Hornby!

(NICK HORNBY enters stage left and walks towards the podium)

NICK HORNBY
This is the first time the One-Year-Later have had ten nominees in both the Original and Adapted Screenplay categories, in fact they had ten nominees in nearly every category that was eligible to have ten. It's a been great year in film, and all of that at some level, begins with the blank page. Here are the nominees for Best Original Screenplay....


BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Clouds of Sils Maria-Olivier Assayas
The Duke of Burgundy-Peter Strickland
Ex Machina-Alex Garland
Inside Out-Story/Screenplay by Pete Doctor; Story by Ronnie Del Carmen; Screenplay by Meg LeFauve and Josh Cooley
Mistress America-Noah Baumbach & Greta Gerwig
Son of Saul-Laszlo Nemes and Clara Royer
Spotlight-Josh Singer & Tom McCarthy
Trainwreck-Amy Schumer
The Tribe-Myroslav Slaboshpytskyi
A Wolf at the Door-Fernando Coimbra

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope, slight pause)

"TRAINWRECK", Amy Schumer. 



(A brief audible gasp sweeps the audience before turning it reluctant applause, and Amy Schumer is startled when her name's called. Mouthing "What!" as Miley Cyrus's "Do My Thang" plays. She gets up hugs Judd Apatow who points her towards the stage which she walks toward, finally closing her mouth.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Amy Schumer's first win and nomination!

(Amy reaches the stage. and gets handed the award by Nick Hornby. She turns to the audience for a moment. Nick tries to escort her out, but she insists on seeing the card in the envelope, which he shows her. She mouths "Wow!" as and Nick exit stage right.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
A two-time OYL Award nominee and a winner for Best Adapted Screenplay for writing "Before Midnight", Julie Delpy!

(JULIE DELPY passes Nick and Amy as she enters stage right and approaches the podium)

JULIE DELPY
Hi, I was supposed to present last year with Ethan, but I couldn't make it, so I'm presenting Adapted Screenplay this year. Hope that's okay. Sorry Ruben. Normally they try to get the last year's Writing winners to present, just like with Actor and Actress winners presenting the next year, only switching between Original and Adapted Screenplay. It's a weird tradition, since most writers don't like being up here. So I've been told. I don't mind, but I act, so... (Shrugs)
(Looks intently at teleprompter, motions towards it)
Yeah, "Pause for laughter," I told you, we weren't gonna need that. You put it in anyway.

(Audience chuckles)

Alright, let's get to it, here are the ten nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay are....


BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Anomalisa-Charlie Kaufman
The Big Short-Charles Randolph and Adam McKay
Carol-Phyllis Nagy
Chi-Raq-Kevin Willimott and Spike Lee
The Diary of a Teenage Girl-Marielle Heller
Mad Max: Fury Road-George Miller, Brendan McCarthy and Nico Lathouris
Magic Mike XXL-Reid Carolin
Room-Emma Donoghue
Steve Jobs-Aaron Sorkin
When Marnie Was There-Keiko Niwa, Masashi Ando and Hiromasa Yonebayashi

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

Charles Randolph and Adam McKay, "THE BIG SHORT"! 



(Nicholas Britell's "Neptune" plays as CHARLES RANDOLPH and ADAM MCKAY get up and head towards the stage.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
These are the first wins and nominations for Charles Randolph and Adam McKay! Adam McKay is also nominated tonight for Best Director for "The Big Short"!

(Charles and Adam get on stage and  Julie hands each of them their OYLs. and they turn to the audience for a moment. They then jokingly kiss each other, romantically, causing laughter and Wooing applause from the audience. Julie's at first confused, but soon realizes it's a joke and then quickly accompanies them off, exiting stage left. SETH ROGEN is onstage unexpectedly in the hosting position.)

SETH ROGEN
Oh, they're funny. Our next presenter is better known as Agent Coulsen in the MCU, but he's been around a lot longer than that-

WILL FERRELL
(Screaming from offstage)
I'm back! I'm back!

(Will runs on, entering stage left, dressed in a nice suit.)

WILL FERRELL
Alright, I"m back-,

(Will notices Seth standing where he's supposed to.)

WILL FERRELL
Seth, what the hell are you doing here?

SETH ROGEN
Oh, you were out too long so they asked me to host the rest of the show.

(Audience laughs)

WILL FERRELL
Whoa, whoa, what do you mean they asked you to host, I was gone for ten minutes, there's commercial breaks that have gone on longer?!

SETH ROGEN
Well, I mean, you didn't come prepared with anything other than your Bush, and once that was over, it's just been, "Oh, I don't have a suit!"

WILL FERRELL
Well, I didn't have a suit-

SETH ROGEN
(Yelling)
Who doesn't come with a suit when they're hosting an Award show?

(Audience laughing)

WILL FERRELL
Well, I have one now! So what, I go out for ten minutes and suddenly you're replacing me?

SETH ROGEN
Well, my category came and went, I had nothing to do, and you were out, they didn't know if you'd come back or not, and I had the most hosting experience of anyone here, so they asked me to fill in.

SARAH SILVERMAN
(Interrupting loudly, from audience)
Whoa, wait a minute here! You have the ma-ost, hosting experience here?

(Audience laughs)

SETH ROGEN
Well, I guess so, that's what they said.

SARAH SILVERMAN
Eh, I think there's somebody here who's got more experience here hosting, this Awards show, then you do, Seth!

(Laughter, elongated thinking pause)

WILL FERRELL
Oh no, eh, Conan left awhile ago.

SETH ROGEN
Oh yeah, I forgot he was here before.

(Will and Seth go back to arguing with each other, ignoring SARAH SILVERMAN entirely, audience laughs)

WILL FERRELL
Alright, fine, if I didn't come back, or have a suit, you could've hosted...-

(Sarah, ignored, goes from concerned to angry, and holds up two middle fingers as Will and Seth talk, huge laughter)

WILL FERRELL
But, I'm back here now, I didn't leave, I didn't miss any cues, I'm hired for the whole show...-

SETH ROGEN
You know what, you're right. You're right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you-

WILL FERRELL
It's alright, I'm sorry, it's not you-,

SETH ROGEN
I know, I know. They asked me, I was trying to help out.

WILL FERRELL
Yeah, I get it; it's fine. I get it, I get it.

SETH ROGEN
(Moves off spot)
Here, you take the host spot.

WILL FERRELL
Alright, thank you.

SETH ROGEN
I'll got back to my seat, have a great rest of the show.

WILL FERRELL
Thank you, Man.

(Seth walks off the stage and goes back to his seat. Will takes over and begins hosting again. Crowd cheers Will's return to host briefly)

WILL FERRELL
Alright, we're back on track. Where were we, alright. Presenting the One-Year-Later Award for Best Actress, last year's winner of the OYL Award for Best Actor for "Trust Me", ladies and gentleman, Clark Gregg!

(CLARK GREGG enters stage right and approaches the podium to applause and cheers.)

CLARK GREGG
A mother who struggles at beating her addictions, a teenager who jumps head-first into excess, a homeless junkie unwilling to quit a bad romance, a mistress who goes to extremes to get revenge, a grandmother who's reconsidering whether her whole marriage has been a lie, a young immigrant risks everything for a new life overseas, a young mother, literally trapped for years by a kidnapper, a young classical musician, who gets caught up in a bank robbery, a young Japanese woman, who's convinced she knows where some long-dead criminals hid their ill-gotten gains, and an aging movie star, trying to understand a role that haunts her from beyond. These ten talented actress giving us ten of the most complex and fascinating roles of a very talented year. Here are the nominees for Best Actress....


BEST ACTRESS
Juliette Binoche-"Clouds of Sils Maria"
Laia Costa-"Victoria"
Arielle Holmes-"Heaven Knows What"
Rinko Kikuchi-"Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter"
Brie Larson-"Room"
Leandra Leal-"A Wolf at the Door"
Bel Powley-"The Diary of a Teenage Girl"
Charlotte Rampling-"45 Years"
Saoirse Ronan-"Brooklyn"
Sarah Silverman-"I Smile Back"

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

BEL POWLEY for "The Diary of a Teenage Girl"! 



(Nate Heller featuring Amber Coffman's "Dreamsong" plays as BEL POWLEY pauses to look around and smirk to herself before standing up and walking towards the stage.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Bel Powley's first win! She was nominated earlier tonight as a Cast Member of "The Diary of a Teenage Girl".

(Bel arrives on stage, and Clark hands her the Award. She turns to the audience and acknowledges their applause, almost seeming like she's having an out-of-body experience before Clark leads her off, as the exit stage left.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
A five-time OYL Award nominee and last year's winner for Best Actress for "Still Alice", Julianne Moore!

(JULIANNE MOORE, enters stage left, passing Clark and Bel as she approaches the podium to a loud applause)

JULIANNE MOORE
A father trying to find humanity for his dead son, in the middle of the worst of human atrocity, a hedge-fund manager who sees human devastation before it happens, and profits from it, a corrupt FBI agent, who keeps a vicious gangster on the streets for him to do more damage, two twin gangster brothers who have different approaches towards success in the Underworld, a reporter determine to get to the bottom of scandal in most pious of institutions, a tight-rope walker who plans to perform the dangerous and amazing of stunts, a schizophrenic murderer who struggles to keeps his demons at bay, a frontiersman who survives being left for dead after a violent bear attack, a technological genius who struggles to connect with the realities of his life and family, and a grandmother for whom a sudden revelation makes his loving suddenly become suspicious of who her husband really is. As always the performances are as wide and different as the roles and the actors portraying them. Here are the nominees for Best Actor...


BEST ACTOR
Steve Carell-"The Big Short"
Tom Courtenay-"45 Years"
Leonardo DiCaprio-"The Revenant"
Joel Edgerton-"Black Mass"
Michael Fassbender-"Steve Jobs"
Joseph Gordon-Levitt-"The Walk"
Tom Hardy-"Legend"
Michael Keaton-"Spotlight"
Ryan Reynolds-"The Voices"
Geza Rohrig-"Son of Saul"

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

RYAN REYNOLDS, "The Voices"! 



(RYAN REYNOLDS, Gemma Arterton, Anna Kendrick, Ella Smith, Michael Pink and Olivier Bernet's version of The O'Jays' "Sing a Happy Song" plays as Ryan Reynolds is shocked by his name being called, going "What?! Me?!" as he gets up. "Wow!" he mouths as he walks towards the stage)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is the first nomination and win for Ryan Reynolds!

(Ryan gets onstage and hugs Julianne as she hands him the award. He turns to the audience and acknowledges the applause, holding the Award up in his right hand high for a moment, before bringing it back down. Julianne escorts Ryan out, to exit stage left. Will Ferrell enters stage right, holding BRAD PITT's coat over his arm)

WILL FERRELL
To present the award for Best Directora past three-time One-Year-Later Award Winner as a Supporting Actor and Producer for "The Tree of Life", he won as a Cast Member for "12 Years a Slave", and is a 7-time OYL Award nominee, including a double nominee tonight, as a Cast Member and Producer for "The Big Short", and I have his suit to return to him, Ladies & Gentlleman, Brad Pitt!

(Brad Pitt enters stage left and heads towards the podium.As Will Ferrell walks over to him, and Brad puts his arms out and Will puts on his coat for him, which gets laughs. Brad assesses the coat, notes that it's okay, gives Will the thumbs, which he's overly giddy about before he exits stage left.)

BRAD PITT
It's a nice coat, glad I got it back.

(Audience chuckles slightly)

Alright, let's just get right down to it. There are ten nominees, the maximum, in the category of Best Director, here are the nominees....


BEST DIRECTOR
Judd Apatow-"Trainwreck"
Noah Baumbach-"Mistress America"
Pete Doctor-"Inside Out"
Todd Haynes-"Carol"
Marielle Heller-"The Diary of a Teenage Girl"
Spike Lee-"Chi-Raq"
Tom McCarthy-"Spotlight"
Adam McKay-"The Big Short"
George Miller-"Mad Max: Fury Road"
Paolo Sorrentino-"Youth"

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Rips envelope, pause before speaking)

GEORGE MILLER, "Mad Max: Fury Road". 



(Junkie XL's "Spikey Cars" plays as George Miller kisses Margaret before standing up and walking towards the stage to loud applause)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is George Miller's first win! He was nominated tonight for Best Adapted Screenplay and as a Producer for "Mad Max: Fury Road"!

(George goes on stage and Brad hands him the Award. He smiles and turns towards the audience who's cheering. After acknowledging them, Brad guides him out, and they exit, stage right.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
To announce the OYL Award for Best Picture, the first person to win four One-Year-Later Awards, including back-to-back Best Picture OYLs for "Before Midnight" and "Boyhood", Richard Linklater!

(RICHARD LINKLATER enters stage left to a rousing ovation and walks towards the podium)

RICHARD
We talk about the Acting Performances being so different all the time, but the Picture themselves can often be as different and distinct as can be, and this year runs the gambit. We have an true-life investigative journalist film about recent revelations oif the Catholic church, a remake of a Greek comedy set against the backdrop of gang warfare in modern-day Chicago, a sequel that's an entry into a film franchise that started in the '70s, a graphic novel adaptation about a self-destructive teenage girl, an animated movie, about what's inside a teenage girl's mind, another animated movie about how an adult male sees the world in his mind, a biopic that tries to peak inside the mind of a technological genius, a romantic-comedy that takes the genre and reinvents it through the mind of a modern-day look at romance, a screwball comedy that feels modern, yet stuck in the '80s and '40s at the same time, and a movie that takes the complications of the banking crises and makes it entertaining and comprehensible. There no one formula or guidebook on how to make a great movies, great movies can come from anywhere and be about anything and told in any way.

(Audience applauds as Richard pauses)

Don't be too congratulatory bad films come from anywhere too, but we're here,-
(Slight chuckle, audience laughs too)
we're here to honor the best. As always, there are ten nominees for Best Picture, and they are....


BEST PICTURE
Anomalisa-Producers: Duke Johnson, Charlie Kaufman, Dino Stamtopoulos and Rosa Tran
The Big Short-Producers: Dede Gardiner, Jeremy Kleiner, Arnon Milchan and Brad Pitt
Chi-Raq-Producer: Spike Lee
The Diary of a Teenage Girl-Producers: Miranda Bailey, Anne Carey, Bert Hamelinck and Madeline Samit
Inside Out-Producer: Jonas Rivera
Mad Max: Fury Road-Producers: George Miller, Doug Mitchell and PJ Voeten
Mistress America-Producers: Noah Baumbach, Rodrigo Teixeira and Lila Yacoub
Spotlight-Producers: Blye Pagon Faust, Steve Golin, Nicole Rocklin and Michael Sugar
Steve Jobs-Danny Boyle, Guymon Casady, Christian Colson, Mark Gordon and Scott Rudin
Trainwreck-Producers: Judd Apatow and Barry Mendel

(Drumroll starts)

And the One-Year-Later Award goes to...

(Opens envelope, pauses, turns envelope towards the audience as he talks.)

Brad tied me. "THE BIG SHORT"! 





(Nicholas Britell's "Neptune" plays as DEDE GARDINER, JEREMY KLEINER and ARNON MILCHAN get up and are surrounded by hugs, appreciation, applause and cheers, as they head towards the stage where Brad Pitt he re-entered stage left to meet them.)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
This is Dede Gardner's second win and nomination; she previously won as a Producer for "The Tree of Life". This is Jeremy Kleiner's first win and nomination. This is Arnon Milchan's first win and second nomination; he was previously nominated as a Producer for "Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)". This is Brad Pitt's record-tying fourth win and with his nomination tonight as a Cast Member of "The Big Short" his record-tying seventh nomination. He previously won as a Supporting Actor and Producer for "The Tree of Life" and as a Cast Member of "12 Years a Slave"; he's also been nominated as a Cast Member for "The Tree of Life" and for Best Actor for "Moneyball".

(Richard congratulates and hands everybody their awards. The actual the audience for a prolonged moment and then they exit stage right as Will Ferrell enters stage left)

WILL FERRELL
That's our show, everyone! Congratulations to all the winners! Thank all the ones who didn't for coming. We'll see you again next year! Which will be giving out awards for 2016! We apologize already for that, sorry. Goodnight, everyone!

(Will waves bye and the closing music sweeps in and the credits begin to roll, showing highlights of the night, behind them)

ANNOUNCER (v.o.)
(During credits)
All vote tabulations are done by the in-house accountants at "David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews". The results of those tabulations are kept secret and in an undisclosed location that's not behind the "In-N-Out Burger" on Cahuenga as previous reported. They remain secret until the envelopes are opened on the night of the Awards.
(Pause)
Gift baskets provided by these sponsors:

(Commercials for ACT mouthwash, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, That Annoying Ad That Pops Up Before Every Damn Youtube Clip You Try to Watch, Cinemark Theaters, NAPA Auto Parts, Victoria's Secret, Crackle, Ring of Honor Wrestling on Sinclair Broadcasting, Roberto's Taco Shop, and Lee's Discount Liquor)

LAWYER'S NOTE: "David Baruffi's Entertainment Views & Reviews denies all existence and knowledge of the "One-Year-Later Awards" and disputes any/all claims of bribary, extortion, blackmail, cyberbullying, sedition, treason, kidnapping of Mario Lopez and forcing him to rewatch the "Jessie's Song" episode of "Saved By the Bell" on a loop while tied to a chair in a French maid's outfit in Elizabeth Berkeley's basement, oh, torture, now that we're thinking about it, stealing of famous landmark in collusion with and/or competition with supposed V.I.L.E. Henchmen, or voting for Donald Trump, in regards to the Awards themselves and their supposed existence and any subsequent related parallel actitivities, potentially involving or corncerning publicist, sponsors, or any wives, mistresses, gay lovers or other extended family members of the nominees, host, or any others who participated in any aspect with the awards. We especially deny that Donald Trump one, we furiously deny all claims involving that action.

The OYL Awards is a "David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews" production
In association with Midnight Green Studios.

Distributed by MTM Television Distribution Group






IN MEMORIAM

Malik Izaak "Phife Dawg" Taylor (1970-2016)
OYL AWARD NOMINEE-Best Documentary Feature-"Beats, Rhymes and Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest [Nominated as ATCQ]


Patricia Norris (1931-2015)
OYL AWARD NOMINEE-Best Costume Design-"The Immigrant"


Joanne Woollard (?-2015)
OYL AWARD NOMINEE-Best Production Design-"Gravity"































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