2014 POST-OSCARS ANALYSIS! "BIRDMAN" runs table, ARQUETTE demands equality, EVERYTHING IS LONG AND NEVERENDING although NPH is AWESOME, the OSCAR PRODUCERS are "Eh". (And the Academy's conspiratorial actions against me continues)

OSCARS
or
(The Predictability of My Inaccuracy)

Supposedly, my inaccuracies, but really, the six Awards I didn't predict, were in fact, correctly predicted, but as always, the friggin' Academy, despite knowing full-well, that I am a completely accurate predictor of all the Academy Awards and yet, they altered the results of just a few categories, to make it seem like I didn't know what I was talking about. Well, someday I will prove the many ways that the Academy has done me in, but, until I can fully produce this, we're going to assume that the presented results were indeed the actual results.

Anyway, I'm starting to get tired of these Neil Meron & Craig Zadan produced shows. Yes, the musical numbers, especially Lady Gaga were great, but the show ran long, and Neil Patrick Harris, I really love you, but too much of you, and it was a general drag of a show. I hope next year, we get new producers; I was getting tired at the end, and I never get tired. Better producing next year.

Anyway, "Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)" pulled off Picture, Director, Screenplay, which was a huge upset, (Although it wasn't eligible for WGA, that's partly why we were a bit confused by that one; it only had a Golden Globe win going in.) and Cinematography. It's the big winner of the night, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, second Mexican in a row, to win Director, but he ties the record with 3 Oscars in one night, very shockingly too; he ties that record with Billy Wilder, Peter Jackson and the Coen Brothers. Very unexpected, especially since, everywhere else, they had been spreading the awards out. And no, Richard Linklater, amazingly has never won, Wes Anderson, also, went 0 for 3, and I don't know why the Academy really didn't spread them out, and that is annoying. Sean Penn's joke at the end was right, "Who gave this son of a bitch a green card." (Jokingly, they worked together on "21 Grams" remember)

Who else won, actually everybody. Check this 8 Oscar nominated Best Picture films, each one, won an Oscar!

AMERICAN SNIPER-Sound Editing
BIRDMAN OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE-Picture, Director, Original Screenplay, Cinematography
BOYHOOD-Supporting Actress
THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL-Production Design, Costume Design, Score, Makeup & Hairstyling (Tied with "Birdman..." for most wins with 4)
THE IMITATION GAME-Adapted Screenplay
SELMA-Song
THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING-Actor
WHIPLASH-Supporting Actor, Sound Editing, Film Editing

That hasn't happened, since they expanded the Best Picture category. You have to go back to '07, when "Atonement", "Juno", "No Country for Old Men", "There Will Be Blood" and "Michael Clayton" each won something. Other winners, Julianne Moore, finally got her Oscar, for "Still Alice", "Interstellar" won Visual Effect over three superhero and a bunch of apes. "CitizenFour" as expected won Best Documentary, "Ida" became the first movie ever from Poland, believe it or not, to win Best Foreign Language film, even if Pawel Pawlikowska, was one of many who hogged the mike long after being played off. (And I wasn't as big on the speeches in general, sometimes too much is a bad thing, and too many really good speeches, especially running long speeches, yikes.). The Short categories, mostly went as expected, "The Phone Call" winning Live-Action, "Feast" winning Animated, and "Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1" winning Documentary Short, the big surprise, although some predicted it, other than Original Screenplay was "Big Hero 6" winning the much disputed Best Animated Feature film category, upsetting "How to Train Your Dragon 2". "The LEGO Movie" came with their own Oscars this year, and the Best Song performances, were all pretty good. (Maybe not the Diane Warren one, but other than that). And Lady Gaga's "The Sound of Music", while, I think kinda, again, the producers making up an excuse to celebrate a musical, was the best of those they've done, and Julie Andrews coming out to present Score to Alexander Desplat, very cool and classy. And glad "The LEGO Movie" crew brought their own Oscars, really cool and strange performance there from, seemingly everybody.

The opening number was okay too. I wish there were more surprises like that. As to the show, I gotta tell you, the buildup, to me, was never, the show. That hurt it too, because, in a predictable year, it's probably okay to have all these extra performances and stuff to keep us interested and running gags, and occasional skits, but- I'll tell you, if you follow me on Twitter at @DavidBaruffi_EV, now usually, I will sit closely watching the show, in another room, and then during commercial come to my computer, and tweet one or tweet somewhat humorous thoughts I might have. This was the first time, I was consciously leaving the room while the show was still on. Just,- some of the performances, some of the speeches that went on too long, Nothing was bad, but it wasn't great, and if you're going on this long, this many performances, and Neil Patrick Harris, who's funny, but he's not exactly the greatest time-filler like Ellen DeGenerous, not a natural stand-up, especially in the beginning when, he literally announced, like ten or 12 presenters in a row it seemed. With a new joke each time, sorta. Again, I'm blaming the Producers, they could've easily worked around that; there's ways of doing that.

And I gotta be honest, this was the first year, where the show was so unpredicable, that honestly, delaying the awards at all this year, was just a bad idea. I don't know how this played to the laymen, but those in the industry and followers of the industry, we were just trying for months to figure out who wins the damn thing, and I really wanted this to, either be a quick Oscars, or have it at least feel like one. Two musical numbers in the beginning, before the commercial was bad,- it just did not feel like the show, that I wanted, or that I think a lot of people wanted or expected, this year.

And btw- I gotta say, bad enough Joan Rivers, wasn't in the In Memoriam,- I know she wasn't an Academy member, but neither are the film critics they honor (Thank Whoopi Goldberg for that) but OTRC. If you don't have cable, like I don't, you're stuck, sorta watching- 'cause you're not really watching it, it's not watchable, but OTRC, "On the Red Carpet" they do the coverage locally before the big red carpet arrival show, and it's unwatchable. Even for Red Carpet, entertainment shows, it's so mind-numbingly cliche and cheesy, and very unknowing frankly,- This year, I couldn't even bother. I left it on and left the room, peeked to double check when the Oscars started.

It's such a buildup, the Oscars, I get it but, sometimes, it's okay to go simply, and this would've been a good year for a more simple Oscars. One that focused on the films and instead of going for broke.

Anyway, it was an underwhelming show, good, but not really great. Congratulations to all the winners, glad to finally see, people like Julianne Moore finally win, Alexandre Desplat finally winning after eight nominations. Lubezki won his second straight Oscar for Cinematography, that's a very rare accomplishment. Common and John Legend won Best Song, only the third time, btw that a rap song has won, after Eminem's "Lose Yourself" from "8 Mile" and 3 Six Mafia's "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from "Hustle & Flow". Also, somebody brought this oddity up, all four Acting winners, played characters that were teachers. I don't know how that ended up happening, but there we go; used to be play a teacher, and get a nomination and lose mostly, few exceptions, but play a teacher now.

Anyway, it's time to put the Oscars behind us. No, the puzzle that this Award season has been still doesn't neatly fit together we we thought or hoped it would after the Oscars. "Birdman..." broke the streak of needing an Editing nomination in order to be a Best Picture winner. A lot of award show predictors and trends went out the window, but some held on. I continue this shtick of acting like I was right all along and the Academy is screwing me over. So, as the moon floats over Las Vegas and I take out the trash wearing sunglasses at night, 'cause of whatever-the-hell is causing my eye to fuck up this week, and take out the trash, before heading to bed. Or finish watching a bunch of Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" on Netflix, whichever comes first. (In case you're wonder about the strange tone of this paragraph, that's the style I'm copying.) Anyway, I hope you all a Happy Oscar Sunday, 'cause tomorrow, it's all over for now, and that's a good thing.