Tuesday, December 30, 2014

THE 4TH ANNUAL ONE-YEAR-LATER AWARDS! HONORING THE BEST IN CINEMA FROM THE YEAR BEFORE LAST! Presented by "David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews".

(As we pans the huge audience, drumroll)

ANNOUNCER
Welcome to the 4TH annual ONE-YEAR-LATER AWARDS! 

(Drumroll ends, audience applauds and Opening music plays) 

ANNOUNCER
Ladies and gentleman, by special request of Kim-Jung Un, our host for the 4th Annual OYL Awards, Sarah Silverman!

(Audience cheers as SARAH SILVERMAN, enter stage left, and approaches the microphone, music stops as she starts acknowledging the applause.). 

SARAH
So, it's an honor, to be asked to host the OYL Awards; I was a nominee and a presenter last year, and they thought I could, come do this, this year.Very honored, and so many great films, that are being honored this year. A lot of great performances, nominated, it's a real lot of acting nominations actually. 40 acting nominees actually. Really, seems to make that nomination last year, a little less important doesn't it? 

(Slight laugh)

SARAH
I mean- I guess, I don't mind, recognizing all of your great work, but it's a bit like, I don't know what, just, when you get that phone call, and it's like, "Hey, you got nominated for an award!" and you're like, "Awesome," and you ask, "Who are you up against?" and they go, "Everybody!" 

(Audience laughs)

It's a bit like saying, you had just as many votes for President as somebody who wasn't running. Cause, technically you did. As much as, there's however many people, running for President, let's say seven people are on the ballot, you finished tied for 8th, with everyone else. It's not like, you couldn't have won. 

(Audience laughs) 

It's very unlikely, but I mean, statisically, it's not bad. Considering everybody who could've possibly been President, and you finished tied for 8th, that's not bad. Finishing 8th here, not bad. 

(Audience laughs) 

And really, since this is only, one person voting, you're all really tied for 2nd, except for a few people, who win. 

(Audience laughs)

I mean, it's not like the Oscars, where we don't find out, who came in second, you're all in second, but on the other hand, nobody voted for you, and you feel like an idiot for showing up at these. And I know how you feel; it happened to me last year. 
(Pause)
Which was really two years ago, 'cause it's the One-Year-Later Awards, I guess. 

(Audience laughs) 

And I don't get that, the One-Year-Later Awards. I mean, if it takes you a year, to figure out what films were any good? 

(Audience laughs) 

I mean, it shouldn't take you that long, to realize that Amy Adams was really good in "American Hustle", or that the cinematography from "The Grandmaster" was really good, or that "12 Years a Slave" shouldn't have been a Best Picture nominee. 

(Audience laughs, ohh.)

'Cause it's about black people. No, I'm kidding, we loved "12 Years a Slave", but there was only ten slots, it's not like, they should just arbitrarily nominate everything; it's not like Jennifer Lawrence, we're talking Best Picture here. 

(Audience laughs, none of the laughs are big by the way, they're all kinda eh at best, mixed reactions from the mixed crowd mostly.)

And it's a tough call. Anyway, these are the OYL Awards, and they honor the best in cinema, from the year before, which basically means, the best things the voters watched on DVD and not in theaters. 

(Audience laughs)

I'm sorry, that's a joke; it's the best that the voters streamed illegally. 

(Audience laughs) 

No, basically, the OYLs are here to not simply look at a quick list of good films and give out awards, they take the time needed to sit through all of the awards, and then honor the best in film, and truly mean it, having thought about analyzed it, seen every movie, basically the kind of shit you have time for when you don't have a life or a girlfriend,
(Pause)
 and we're gonna start that now, with out first presenter, she beat me last year to win the OYL for Best Supporting Actress for "Showgirls"- I mean, "Killer Joe", a great actress who has been rumored to have slept with President Clinton, which, would be awesome whether she did or not by the way; here's the amazing Gina Gershon! 

(GINA GERSHON enters stage right carrying an envelope and approaching the podium as Sarah exits stage left.) 

GINA
Sarah's right, there is a lot of acting nominees this year, and while it seems a lot, don't just remember how many great and talented actors there are in Hollywood, realize how difficult it truly is distinguish between so many great performances that require so many different high levels of acting ability and skill. Is it more difficult to play a legendary Austrian race car driver than it is, an Texas transvestite dying from AIDS, or how about a reckless motorcycle stunt performer, or a hotshot FBI sting operative? There's different things needed to play those characters than is needed to be a pompous stock trader in the cutthroat Caligula of modern-day Wall Street, than it is to play an escaped Jew hiding out in the woods of WWII Germany, or a bartender who marries a single mother recording artist, or even a son trying to help out his father as he battles Alzheimer's.  Even a police officer, investigating a little girl's disappearance can be daunting, just as daunting as playing a character so foreign to the universe of South Florida he inhabits, that they call him Alien. These ten performances amazing performances are the nominees for Best Supporting Actor.

(Montage of nominees and performances, as recorded voice of Gina announces each nominee's name. Audience applauds) 


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Daniel Bruhl- "Rush"
Bradley Cooper-"American Hustle"
James Franco-"Spring Breakers"
Will Forte-"Nebraska
Ryan Gosling-"The Place Beyond the Pines"
Jake Gyllenhaal-"Prisoners"
Jonah Hill-"The Wolf of Wall Street"
Jared Leto-"Dallas Buyers Club"
Kai-Peter Malina-"Lore" 
Alexander Skarsgard-"What Maisie Knew"

And the OYL Award goes to...
(Gina opens envelope)

WILL FORTE for "Nebraska"



(Mark Orton's "New West" plays as WILL FORTE smiling almost bemused, gets up and heads towards the stage. Gina Gershon hands him his OYL Award as he approaches the podium.)

ANNOUNCER:
This is Will Forte's first win and nomination!

(He thanks Gina and turns towards the audience for a second, unsure of what to do, he shrugs slightly holding his OYL before Will and Gina exit stage left. Music fades out)

ANNOUNCER
A double-nominee tonight, for Best Supporting Actress and as a member of the Cast for "American Hustle" and a five-time nominee overall, Jennifer Lawrence!

(JENNIFER LAWRENCE enters stage right and heads towards the podium to rousing cheers and applause, she's somewhat nervous)

JENNIFER
This is the first time that the One-Year-Later Awards have decided to honor the most outstanding achievements in Production Design. There job is tougher than it seems, because the best directing and lighting in the world, can't save a film if what they're shooting doesn't plausibly seems like the world the characters actually inhabit, whether that's the London in the sixties, China before the Sino-Japanese War, New Jersey in the seventies, the extravagance of modern-day Wall Street, or Rome, or Jazz Age New York, or even worlds in the near future, or outer space, or recreate the worlds of 1970s Formula-1 racetracks. Here are the nine nominees for Best Production Design:

(Montage again of nominees, as a recorded voice of the presenter announces each name. Slight applause after the nominees are announced. [This will precede each time nominees are listed off])


BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN
American Hustle-Production Design: Judy Becker; Set Decoration: Heather Loeffler
Ginger & Rosa-Production Design: Carlos Cont; Set Decoration: Liz Griffiths
The Grandmaster-Production Design: William Chang; Art Design: Alfred Yau
Gravity-Production Design: Andy Nicholson; Set Decoration: Rosie Goodwin & Joanne Woollard
The Great Beauty-Stefania Cella
The Great Gatsby-Production Design: Catherine Martin; Set Decoration: Beverly Dunn
Her-Production Design: K.K. Barrett; Set Decoration: Gene Serdana
Rush-Production Design: Mark Digby; Set Decoration: Michelle Day
The Wolf of Wall Street-Production Design: Bob Shaw; Set Decoration: Ellen Christiansen

and the OYL Award goes to:
(Open Envelope)

Oh wow, "AMERICAN HUSTLE"! YES! Judy Becker and Heather Loeffler!



(Electric Light Orchestra's "10538 Orchestra" plays as HEATHER LOEFFLER and JUDY BECKER arise from their seats and walk towards the stage. Jennifer hands them their OYLs as she hugs each of them.)

JENNIFER
Oh my God; I didn't think you guys would win with me presenting.

(Jennifer realize how loud she said that, and it's picked up as she congratulates them. Judy and Heather turn towards the stage before exiting stage left.)

ANNOUNCER
A three-time OYL Award nominee, for Supporting Actress and as a cast member of "The Tree of Life" and for Lead Actress for "Zero Dark Thirty", Jessica Chastain!

(Jessica Chastain enters stage right and approaches the podium as Lawrence, Becker and Loeffler as they walk off. Audience gives an ovation.)

JESSICA
It seems somewhat magical at times, at least from our vantage point. As actors, we're told we're going to act in a film, and it's a lot of waiting around while they're getting ready for you, and doing the same lines over and over again, sometimes to the point where you don't even know what you're supposed to be doing, and this goes on and on, and then, someone, an amazing film is made out of all of it. Those magicians are the editors, and the very best, like those who edited the nine nominated films here, essentially make a movie, where there was just a bunch of footage that somebody shot. Here are the nominees for Best Editing:


BEST EDITING
12 Years a Slave-Joe Walker
American Hustle-Alan Baumgarten, Jay Cassidy and Crispin Struthers
Captain Phillips-Christopher Rouse
Gravity-Alfonso Cuaron and Mark Sanger
Her-Jeff Buchanan and Eric Zumbrunnen
Inside Llewyn Davis-Roderick Jaynes (aka Joel Coen & Ethan Coen)
An Oversimplification of Her Beauty-Terence Nance
Rush-Dan Hanley & Mike Hill
The Wolf of Wall Street-Thelma Schoonmaker

And the OYL Award goes to
(Struggles to open envelope for a second, but finally does)
Ah, got it.

(Slight laugh from audience.)

and the OYL goes to Thelma Schoonmaker for "THE WOLF OF WALL STREET"!



(7Horse's "Meth Lab Zoso Sticker"plays as THELMA SCHOONMAKER stands up to roaring applause, hugged by Martin Scorsese and congratulated by others as she heads up to the stage.)

ANNOUNCER
This is Thelma Schoonmaker's second OYL Award nomination and first win. She was previously nominated for editing "Hugo".

(Jessica hands Thelma her OYL as she congratulates her. There's a lot of applause as Thelma turns towards the audience for a moment before exiting with Jessica, stage left)

ANNOUNCER
To announce the award for Best Documentary, 4-time OYL Award nominee last year, for Directing and Cinematography, and last year's winner for both Best Editing and for Best Documentary, all for "Samsara", Ron Fricke!

(RON FRICKE enters stage left, passing Thelma and Jessica as they head backstage. The audience gives a standing ovation and applauds the reclusive filmmaker as he approaches the podium.)

RON
Thank you very much. It's an honor to be here; I don't do this sort of thing often so bare with me. I was awarded this award last year, for Best Documentary, and I'm very honored to present the Award this year, to one of these nine amazing films. The award is given the film's director and producers; here are the nominees for Best Documentary Feature.


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
20 Feet from Stardom-Director/Producer: Morgan Neville; Producers: Gil Friessen and Caitrin Rogers
The Act of Killing-Director: Joshua Oppenheimer; Co-Director/Producers: Anonymous and Christine Cynn; Producers: Signe Byrge Sorensen, Joren Tem Brink and Michael Uwemedino.
Blackfish-Director/Producer: Gabriella Cowperwaithe; Producer: Manuel V. Oteyza
The Crash Reel-Director/Producer: Lucy Walker; Producer: Julien Cautherly
Let the Fire Burn-Director/Producer: Jason Osder
More than Honey-Director/Producer: Markus Imhoof; Producer: Helmut Grasser, Thomas Kufus and Pierre-Alan Meier
The Square-Director/Producer: Jehame Noujaim; Producer: Karim Amer
Stories We Tell-Director: Sarah Polley; Producer: Anita Lee
Tim's Vermeer-Director: Teller; Producers: Penn Jillette and Farley Zeigler

And the OYL Award goes to:
(Opens envelope)

"20 FEET FROM STARDOM". 



(Judith Hill's "Desperation" begins to play as Morgan Neville and Caitrin Rogers get up and begin heading towards the stage)

ANNOUNCER
This is Morgan Neville second nomination and first win. He was nominated for Best Documentary as a producer for "Pearl Jam Twenty". These are Caitrin Rogers and Gil Friesen's first nomination and wins. Gil Friesen has become the first person to win an OYL Award posthumously.  Accepting on behalf of Gil Friesen, his wife Janet.

(All three make their way onto the stage, as the audience applauds. Ron hands each of them, their OYL Awards, congratulating each of them, quietly. They turn towards the audience and exit stage right)

SARAH
Our next presenter, won an OYL Award last year, as a member of the Cast for "Lincoln", and was nominated for a Best Actor OYL Award, and just like Ron Fricke, he only does one movie every two Presidential Elections, so it turned out he was free tonight to do this tonight. Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Daniel Day-Lewis!

(DANIEL DAY-LEWIS enters stage right and approaches the podium, to a rousing applause)

DANIEL
Thank you.

(Applause dies down).

DANIEL DAY-LEWIS
It was an honor to be a winner as a member of the cast of "Lincoln", but the award is presented and given firstly, to the Casting Directors on a film. They're the ones who manage to pull off miracles sometimes and find the correct people for each part in a film, and not only that, wrangle, and arm-twist them, and the directors and producers into convincing them to even be in the movie. It's a tricky job, and each of these ten nominees, had an incredibly difficult job, of getting the correct assortment of talented people together, and have them use their talents together for the benefit of a single project. The nominees are:


BEST CASTING ENSEMBLE
12 Years a Slave-Casting by Francine Maisler
American Hustle-Casting by Lindsay Graham and Mary Vernieu
Blue Jasmine-Casting by Patricia DiCerto and Juliet Taylor
Ginger & Rosa-Casting by Irene Lamb and Heidi Levitt
Inside Llewyn Davis-Casting by Ellen Chenoweth
Prisoners-Casting by Kerry Barden and Paul Schnee
A Touch of Sin-(Ex. Pro.: Zhangke Jia, Zhong-lun Ren and Yuji Sadai; Pro.: Shozo Ichiyama
The Way Way Back-Casting by Allison Jones
What Maisie Knew-Casting by Avy Kaufman
The Wolf of Wall Street-Casting by Ellen Lewis

And the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)
"12 YEARS A SLAVE". Casting by Francine Maisler. 

  

(Gary Clark Jr.'s "(In the Evening) When the Son Goes Down" plays as Francine Maisler gets up, and starts walking towards the stage as members of the cast "12 Years a Slave" present, surprised by the announcement congratulate her and each other as she heads up. Audience applauds.)

ANNOUNCER
This is Francine Maisler's second OYL Award nomination and first win. She was previously nominated for casting "The Tree of Life".

(Daniel hands Francine her award, she then turns towards the audience before exiting stage right.)

ANNOUNCER
A double-nominee tonight as a cast member and for Best Actor for "American Hustle" and an OYL AWARD winner for Best Supporting Actor for "The Fighter", Christian Bale!

(CHRISTIAN BALE enters stage left and approaches the podium)

CHRISTIAN
It's somewhat hard to believe that something as intangible as light, can be harnessed and manipulated in such a way that it can exceed the mere technical accomplishment it is and become a spectacular art form that it is. The joke is that the director makes the movie, while the Director of Photography makes it look pretty, but there's much more to it. Without them, the cinematographers behind these ten nominated films can do, and many other, film wouldn't be the art that it is today. Here are the nominees for Best Cinematography:


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
All is Lost-Frank G. DeMarco
The Grandmaster-Phillippe Le Sourd
Gravity-Emmanuel Lubezki
The Great Beauty-Luca Bigazzi
Her-Hoyte van Hoytema
Inside Llewyn Davis-Bruno Delbonnel
Nebraska-Phedon Papamichael
Prisoners-Roger A. Deakins
Rush-Anthony Dod Mantle
To the Wonder-Emmanuel Lubezki

And the OYL Award goes to
(Opens envelope)

Emmanuel Lubezki, 
(slight pause) 
for "GRAVITY"!



(Emmanuel Lubezki rises from his seat rather inauspiciously as he heads towards the stage. There's a slight delay until Steven Price's "Gravity (Main Theme)" plays, as Christian Bale didn't announce which film he won for immediately upon opening. Audience cheers)

ANNOUNCER
These are Emmanuel Lubezki's first nominations and his first win. He is the first person to be nominated twice in the Best Cinematography category in the same year.

(Christian hands the OYL to Lubezki, congratulating him, as he turns towards the audience before quickly exiting stage right. Music fades out.)

ANNOUNCER
To announce the award for Best Animated Feature, a double nominee tonight as a cast member and for Best Actress for "American Hustle", and a previous Best Supporting Actress nominee for "The Fighter", Amy Adams!

(AMY ADAMS enters stage right, passing Lubezki and saying hi to Christian Bale as she walks in. Applause from the audience)

AMY
Okay, I know what you're all thinking, why are all the "American Hustle" people giving out the awards?

(Audience laughs)

Honestly, it's a pure coincidence, they wanted Jennifer cause she's been nominated so much, they wanted Christian to give out something, 'cause he's nominated, and because he's a former winner, and basically they didn't know who to give the Best Animation Feature category,-

(Audience laughs)

And I was Princess Giselle in "Enchanted" so they thought that made me qualified for this category.

JONAH
Are you kidding me!

(Cut to Jonah Hill in the audience, who's visibly upset, there's laughter)

JONAH
That wasn't even a half-animated movie. Why aren't I up there?

AMY
(Confused)
I'm sorry Jonah, what animated movie were you in?

JONAH
Animated movie! Mov-ies. I was Snotlot in "How to Train Your Dragon", I was Tighten in "Megamind", -eh, I was Snotlot, in "How to Train Your Dragon 2", I mean, it's the same character, but still, that's animated franchise now!

(Audience laughs)

AMY
Well, okay, that is more animation than I've done.

JULIE
Hey, what about us?

(Cut to Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke in the audience)

ETHAN
Julie, what you doing?

JULIE
No, no, no, we were both in "Waking Life", we were as our characters, apart of a legendary trilogy; I came all the way down here from France, I could present the Animation award.

(Audience laughs)

ETHAN
We were in "Waking Life" for one scene, that's hardly comparable to what they've done in animation.

JULIE
Oh, just one scene. She's in a live-action movie, and nobody remembers Jonah Hill in any of his animated movies.

(Audience laughs)

JONAH
Hey, I resent that, I'm memorable in "Megamind", for those who saw it, which is probably more than who saw "Waking Life"; you two trying to weasle your trilogy into another movie?

ETHAN
Hey, hey, leave me out of this, I'm okay sitting here, your fights are with her-

JULIE
You never take my side, do you Ethan.

ETHAN
I take your side plenty of times-

AMY
Okay, all of you, can we stop it now!

(Audience laughs)

AMY
Okay, some of us have also done animation, I don't know why they picked me-

SARAH
Yeah, they should've picked me!

(Sarah is suddenly stage left)

SARAH
I was Vanellope in "Wreck-It Ralph", and I've done more animation work than all of you combined if you count television; I should be handing out the award!

(Audience laughing hard)

AMY
Eh, Sarah, you gave the award out last year, and not only that you're hosting the awards this year.

SARAH
That's right, on top of all that, I'm hosting, and I have experience, and can't even give out the Animation award. That's just sexist, you know?

(Audience bursting with laughter, after a very long pause and wait, Amy, noticeably uncomfortable, decides to simply go on with handing out the award)

AMY
There are five nominees this year for Best Animated Feature, the award goes to the film's director and producers, here are the nominees:


BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Despicable Me 2-Directors: Pierre Coffin & Chris Renaud; Producers: Janet Healy and Chris Meledandri
Ernest & Celestine-Directors: Stephane Aubier & Vincent Patar and Benjamin Renner; Producers: Didier Brunner, Henri Magalon, Stephan Roelants and Vincent Tavier
Frozen-Directors: Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee; Producer: Peter Del Vecho
Monsters University-Director; Dan Scanlon; Producer: Kori Rae
The Wind Rises-Director: Hayao Miyazaki; Producer: Toshio Suzuki

And the OYL Award goes to:
(Opens envelope)

"FROZEN".



(Idina Menzel's "Let It Go" plays as CHRIS BUCK, JENNIFER LEE and PETER DEL VECHO arise to appreciate but mild applause and head towards the stage.)

ANNOUNCER
This is the first OYL Award win for Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee and Peter Del Vecho. Jennifer Lee was nominated previously for Best Original Screenplay for "Wreck-It Ralph", she and Chris Buck are nominated tonight for Best Adapted Screenplay tonight for "Frozen".

(Chris, Jennifer and Peter go up and Amy Adams hands each of them their OYLs congratulating them as the turn to the audience, before exiting stage right. Sarah on stage behind the podium)

SARAH
(Clapping off the winners.)
Alright, I think we're almost a third of the way through folks. so let's keep it going. To present the OYL Award for Best Supporting Actress, a double nominee last year as a cast member and the winner of the Best Supporting Actor OYL for "Django Unchained", he also won the Oscar for his performance, and he's from Austria,
(Slight awkward set-up pause)
but, he assures us he's not related to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

(Audience tries to hold in slight laugh)

See, what I did there, I made it seem like I was gonna make a Hitler joke, but no, switched it up on you. Made it Arnold. You know, to be edgy. You know, I mean he's not related to Hitler either, I don't think. Probably not. It'd be weird if he was though wouldn't it. Like we'd be going, "That Christoph Waltz, he's a great actor!" and then we'd think, "And, he's related, to Hitler."

(Audience laugh)

Actually, it wouldn't be that joyful, really. "He's a great actor, it's a shame he's related to Hitler." More like that I guess. We wouldn't be like,
(Joyous, girly sounding)
"Oh boy, he's related to Hitler!" No, we wouldn't do that,

(Audience Laughs loud)

We wouldn't do that, I don't think. Anyway, here's a man not related to Hitler, Christoph Waltz!

(Christoph Waltz enters stage left, laughing as Sarah walks off stage, audience applauds loudly as he approaches the microphone.)

CHRISTOPH
Thank you. This wide range of female characters portrayed by these amazingly talented actresses, makes determining a single greatest performance among the bunch, that much harder. One single mother looking to con her way into keeping her marriage afloat, while another struggles to find love again.One goes back to her hometown to help her ailing husband achieve his dream, while another has to practically give up her talents as a modern time closes in. A prostitute who's addictions put her kids in a horrible situation, a famous musician, who's equally incapable of taking care of her daughter. A slave who dreams of freedom, a trophy wife, fighting for power, an artist searching for love, and a nanny who ends up finding it, in the most unexpected of places. These are the roles of these ten nominees portrayed, and you couldn't come up with a more random cross-section of women if you tried. The nominees are:


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Sally Hawkins-"Blue Jasmine"
Jennifer Hudson-"The Inevitable Defeat of Mister and Pete"
Jennifer Lawrence-"American Hustle"
Julianne Moore-"What Maisie Knew"
Lupita Nyong'o-"12 Years a Slave"
Margot Robbie-"The Wolf of Wall Street"
Lea Seydoux-"Blue is the Warmest Color"
June Squibb-"Nebraska"
Joanna Vanderham-"What Maisie Knew"
Ziyi Zhang-"The Grandmaster"

And the OYL Award goes to
(Opens envelope, pause)

JENNIFER LAWRENCE, "American Hustle" 



(Jennifer, with a shy smirk as though she thinking, "Wow, again." look pauses before getting up and walking to the stage as Electric Light Orchestra's "10538 Orchestra" plays, while the audience applauds)

ANNOUNCER
Counting her Casting Ensemble nomination earlier tonight, this is Jennifer Lawrence's fifth nomination and her first win. She was previously nominated as apart of the cast and as Best Actress for "Silver Linings Playbook" and was nominated for Best Actress for "Winter's Bone".

(Jennifer hugs Christoph as he hands her the OYL. She turns nervously and anxiously towards the cheering audience. She then turns and exits stage right.)

ANNOUNCER
A four-time nominee last year and the winner of last years OYL Awards for Best Original Screenplay and Best Foreign Language Film, for "Rust and Bone", Jacques Audiard!

(JACQUES AUDIARD enters stage left and approaches the podium to applause)

JACQUES
Bonjour. Eh, ce est vraiment une honte, que nous films souvent séparés par la langue parfois. Il ne ya aucune raison l'un de ces neuf films nominés, ne pouvait pas être juste des films, et laissez-nous en rester là. Hypothétiquement, comme une histoire de deux jeunes femmes dans l'amour, ou de femmes qui perd sa prise avec la réalité après la maternité, ou un documentaire sur la situation de l'abeille, pourrait hypothétiquement être dit ne importe où. D'autres, comme la documentation d'une révolution démocratique dans un pays arabe, ou de multiples histoires critiquant le mouvement capitaliste dans un pays communiste, ou comment une jeune fille précoce est déterminé à obtenir de l'argent pour un vélo, en mémorisant le Coran, doivent être dit dans certains endroits, mais ne peut toujours susciter des émotions universelles dans son auditoire, peu importe d'où ils viennent. Que leurs musiciens folkloriques en difficulté après la perte de leur enfant, un millionnaire regardant en arrière sur sa vie extravagant, ou une famille dynamique profondément bouleversée par les secrets et les tragédies qu'ils ne sont même pas conscients effet eux, les neuf candidats pour le meilleur film en langue étrangère, aren «films de t en langue étrangère, ils sont juste bons films, où ils juste, ne utilisent pas la langue anglaise à parler.

(Translation)
Bonjour. Eh, it's really a shame, that we often separate films by language sometimes. There's no reason any of these nine nominated films, couldn't just be movies, and let us leave it at that. Hypothetically, like a story of two young women in love, or of a women who loses her grip with reality after motherhood, or a documentary about the plight of the bee, could hypothetically be told anywhere. Others, like the documenting of a democratic revolution in an Arab country, or multiple stories critiquing the capitalist movement in a Communist country, or how a precocious young girl is determined to get money for a bike, by memorizing the Qu'ran, have to be told in certain locations, but still can stir universal emotions in it's audience, no matter where they're from. Whether their folk musicians struggling after the loss of their child, a millionaire looking back on his extravagant life, or a family dynamic deeply shattered by secrets and tragedies they aren't even aware effect them, the nine nominees for Best Foreign Language Film, aren't foreign language films, they're just good films, where they just, don't use the English language to speak. 

(In English)
The award is given to the film's director, here are the nominees:


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Blue is the Warmest Color-Abdellatif Kechiche (France)
The Broken Circle Breakdown-Felix von Groeningen (Belgium)
The Great Beauty-Paolo Sorrentino (Italy)
More than Honey-Markus Imhoof (Switzerland)
Our Children-Joachim Lafosse (Belgium)
The Past-Asghar Farhadi (Iran)
The Square-Jehame Noujaim (Egypt)
A Touch of Sin-Zhangke Jia (People's Republic of China)
Wadjda-Haifaa Al-Mansour (Saudi Arabia)

Et le prix d'un an plus tard est décerné à ...
(Opens Envelope)

"LA VIE D'ADELE", Abdellatif Kechiche!



(Alex Johnson, Chris Allen & Steve Satterthwaite's "Feel It Now" plays as ABDELLATIF KECHICHE gets up to a rousing applause and cheers as he walks towards the stage.)

ANNOUNCER
This is the first OYL Award win for Adbellatif Kechiche; he's also nominated tonight for Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Director and Best Picture for "Blue is the Warmest Color". This is the second consecutive year a film from France has won the Best Foreign Language Film award, becoming the first country to win the Foreign Language OYL Award twice. France also holds the records for most nominations in the category for a country with 5, and is the only country to have at least one nominated film every year since the OYLs were created!

(Abdellatif shakes hands with his fellow countryman as he hands him his OYL. He turns to the audience. After a moment he and Jacques exit stage right. Sarah looks like calming down from a suddenly rapid rage)

SARAH
(Breathing heavy)
Whew, thank God, if you're there. Sorry, I was freaking out back there, I wasn't paying that much attention, but it turned out, nobody understood what the hell that guy was saying!

(Audience laughs)

Sor-, no seriously, I was so freaking out, man, 'cause I- I thought I had eaten, you know, I thought I only ate, the one pot brownie in the back, but-

(Audience laughs awkwardly)

But then that happened, and I thought, "Oh no, they were Michael Cera's batch!", but, no it wasn't.

(Audience laughing)

It wasn't that, he just speaking, a different language or something. So, I'm pretty sure they were my batch of brownies. Um-

(Sarah Pauses for audience laughter)

Never eat someone else's pot brownies. Words of wisdom from Mrs. Silverman's daughter.. Our next presenter- There should've been like, the NBC, "The More You Know", coming across the screen, "Never eat someone else's pot brownies", (Hums "The More You Know" song)

(Audience laughting)

Always bake your own. Our next presenter is a 3-time OYL Award nominee, for Producing and Directing, and won the OYL Award for Best Adapted Screenplay for co-writing "The Descendants", and he definitely bakes his own brownies, Mr. Alexander Payne!

(ALEXANDER PAYNE enters stage left and approaches the podium, holding in an uncomfortable laugh as Sarah walks off stage right. Audience, big applause)

ALEXANDER
Thank you, I promised I'd make this up for making Jim Rash present alone last year so, hear I am. Nothing to promote right now, so, no excuses now.

(Slight chuckle from audience)

No, I'm kidding; I'm glad I'm here, oh, Congratulation Will, by the way. You deserved it!

(We see Will Forte back in the crowd holding up his OYL Award as Alexander mentions him)

I'm very honored, to be here, to honor, one of these ten incredibly talented filmmakers nominated for Best Original Screenplay. I say filmmakers because each one of the nominated films in this category, because most of the nominees, ended up directing or producing their vision, and they're able to do that next step-, they not only have the ability to take a unique idea, in their mind, and then transfer it into words on a page, and then they can take those words, and turn it into images. It's hard enough doing one of those skills, so it's an honor to award somebody capable of both. Here are the nominees for Best Original Screenplay:


BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
All is Lost-J.C. Chandor
American Hustle-Eric Warren Singer and David O. Russell
Blue Jasmine-Woody Allen
Ginger & Rosa-Sally Potter
Gravity-Alfonso Cuaron & Jonas Cuaron
Her-Spike Jonze
Inside Llewyn Davis-Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
The Past-Asghar Farhadi
Rush-Peter Morgan
A Touch of Sin-Zhangke Jia

and the OYL Award goes to
(Opens envelope)

Spike Jonze for "HER"!



(Karen O's "The Moon Song" plays as Spike Jonze, humble and quietly gets up and heads towards the stage as the audience gives a rousing cheer and applause)

(ANNOUNCER)
This is Spike Jonze's first OYL Award win and nomination! He is also nominated tonight for both Best Picture and Best Director for "Her"!

(Spike walks up stage and Alexander congratulates him, handing him the OYL, and Spike gets a standing ovation, as he turns towards the audience. He motions them to calm down, as he's reluctant and almost seems tired of the praise; the audience lets up soon after. Spike then exits stage left.)

ANNOUNCER
A 3-time OYL Award nominee last year, for Producing, Directing and the winner of last year's Best Original Screenplay OYL Award for "Moonrise Kingdom", Wes Anderson!

(As Spike and Alexander exit, Wes Anderson passes them as he enters stage right and walks towards the podium, loud applause starts momentarily again before dying out.)

WES
It's one thing to use some classic text of other piece of art as inspiration, a jumping off point for your own vision. It's another thing to have to use that source, and instead recreate or reimagine upon it, or continue upon it yourself. In this sense, some would say that adapting a screenplay is harder than creating your own original work, having not only a ready-made audience for you to please, who have all kinds of expectations, but also having to balance to the spirit of the original intent and spirit of the creators of the original, but also having enough individualism within it to clearly say that the work is indeed your own. These seven nominees pulled this off and then some. Here are the nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay:


BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
12 Years a Slave-John Ridley
Before Midnight-Richard Linklater, Ethan Hawke & Julie Delpy
Blue is the Warmest Color-Abdellatif Kechiche & Ghalia Lacroix
The Broken Circle Breakdown-Felix von Groeningen and Carl Joos
Frozen-Story/Screenplay by Jennifer Lee; Story by Chris Buck & Shane Morris; Additional Story by Dean Wellins
What Maisie Knew-Nancy Doyne & Carroll Cartwright
The Wolf of Wall Street-Terence Winter

And the OYL Award goes to...
(Opens Envelope)

Richard Linklater, Ethan Hawke & Julie Delpy for "BEFORE MIDNIGHT"!



(The shock of their names being called, practically sends ETHAN HAWKE and JULIE DELPY back into their chairs, RICHARD LINKLATER, pauses for a second stunned before getting up and leading the other two to do the same as Graham Reynolds's "The Best Summer of My Life" plays. There's a rousing ovation from the audience that turns to a standing one as the approach the stage)

ANNOUNCER
This is the first win and nomination for Richard Linklater, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Ethan Hawke is nominated later tonight for Best Actor, Julie Delpy is nominated for Best Actress and Richard Linklater is nominated for Best Director and Best Picture all for "Before Midnight"!

(Wes congratulates each of them as he hands them their OYL Awards one at a time, and they turn nervously towards the audience. After a moment, they head off, exiting stage right hurriedly, as though unsure how to react, especially Julie Delpy who leaves last. Sarah's back on stage and with her guitar now.)

SARAH
Our next presenter was a nominee tonight as a cast member of "Prisoners", and won the OYL Award last year for Best Actor for "Les Miserables", and since he knows a few things about musicals and hosting shows like this, I decided to write a song for him....
(Sarah starts tuning her guitar slight, quietly)
There we go, okay, one-two-three-four...-

(Sarah begins strumming noticeably badly, singing)

Hugh Jackson you make my pussy wet.
You're so hot, I just can't help it.
I call my vibrator Wolverine.
When I watch "X-Men" I wish you take those claws and just take me.
It's a shame you're married, you have a lovely wife
But we can work around that, hey that's life
I used to (Bleep) Jimmy Kimmel, sorry about that
But we can work it out, if you can get past it
Hugh Jackman you make this Jew girl's pussy we-et!!!!!
(Sarah takes the last line and spreads it out for a while, before she stops playing.)

(Half the audience is laughing in tears and shocks, the other half is somewhat confused but they're being overruled by laugher)

Okay, before I'm kicked out and never allowed to host this again, here's Hugh Jackman!!!

(HUGH JACKMAN enters stage right trying to keep his composure and with about him as Sarah heads off stage. Hugh approaches the podium)

HUGH
An astronaut fighting for her survival, a mother losing her mental capacity to survive, an unwanted free spirit with secrets of her own, a teenager who falls head over heels in love for the first time, a folk singer, who can't go on after losing her daughter, a wife trying to survive after her husband loses everything, a con artist, who can make it seem like she has it all, a woman fighting with her lover because she feels she's being held down from getting it all, a caretaker whose troubled past invokes her passion to help, and a wife and mother, who suddenly finds excitement and freedom, with her secret new job. These ten nominees for Best Actress, gave us the complete range of human emotion with each of these performances, and hit emotional levels and stretched their physical acting abilities to the farthest of limits. I've been informed that this was an incredibly difficult decision to determine the best performance out of this group, but I'm not surprised by that declaration at all. Here are the nominees for Best Actress...


BEST ACTRESS
Amy Adams-"American Hustle"
Veerle Baetens-"The Broken Circle Breakdown"
Cate Blanchett-"Blue Jasmine"
Sandra Bullock-"Gravity"
Julie Delpy-"Before Midnight"
Emilie Dequenne-"Our Children"
Adele Exarchopoulos-"Blue is the Warmest Color"
Gaby Hoffmann-"Crystal Fairy and the Magical Cactus & 2012"
Brie Larson-"Short Term 12"
Robin Weigert-"Concussion"

(Hugh is clapping at the montage tucking the envelope under his arm, before grabbing it to open)

And the OYL Award goes to....
(Opens envelope, pause before speaking)

GABY HOFFMANN for "Crystal Fairy.."!



(There's a lot of sudden gasps in the audience, but the loudest gasp came from GABY HOFFMANN. The audience soon however starts applauding as Gaby slowly manages to find her way up and walk towards the stage, still somewhat in disbelief as Manu Chau's "Bongo Bong" plays.)

ANNOUNCER
This is Gaby Hoffmann's first win and first nomination!

(Gaby walks onstage as Hugh congratulates her, as he hands her the Award. She turns to the audience who's giving a rousing ovation, a delayed one. Nervous, she quickly though, starts to exit stage left.)

ANNOUNCER
To present the OYL Award for Best Actor a 3-time OYL Award nominee and 2-time OYL Award winner, first as apart of the Casting Ensemble for "Midnight in Paris" and then last year's OYL Award winner for Best Actress for "Rust and Bone", Marion Cotillard!

(MARION COTILLARD passes Gaby Hoffmann as she enters stage left, congratulating her but Gaby just barely notices. Marion heads towards the podium, gets applause)

MARION
Tell Sarah, not to worry, I'm doing it in English.

(Slight delay, but Audience laughs)

A folk musician who's lost her daughter, and now might be losing his wife and sense of self, another folk musician who's doesn't have much to lose, but that doesn't stop him from losing what we has, a violinist who's tricked into being a slave, a stock broker, who manipulates the market and others to riches, a con man, who has to con his way out of a situation that he's way in over his head on, a witness to histoy of America, to a many who won't be a simple witness to his own death and demise, to an old man who's literally alone, with just the sea, to a man who's lonely enough to embark on a romance with a sentient machine, and a man who's struggling to keep his relationship afloat. The ten nominees for Best Actor gave us some unforgettable characters, with their own distinct behaviors and reactions to situations, none of which are similar to each other, yet all of their struggles and actions, are remarkably familiar and touch us on a human level, transforming and stretching the craft and turning it into an art. Here are the nominees for Best Actor...


BEST ACTOR
Christian Bale-"American Hustle"
Leonardo DiCaprio-"The Wolf of Wall Street"
Chiwetel Ejiofor-"12 Years a Slave"
Ethan Hawke-"Before Midnight"
Johan Heldenbergh-"The Broken Circle Breakdown"
Oscar Isaac-"Inside Llewyn Davis"
Matthew McConaughey-"Dallas Buyers Club"
Joaquin Phoenix-"Her"
Robert Redford-"All is Lost"
Forest Whitaker-"Lee Daniels' The Butler"

and the OYL Award goes to...

(Opens envelope)

Ah, Congratulations my friend, LEONARDO DICAPRIO, for "The Wolf of Wall Street"! 



(7Horse's "Meth Lab Zoso Sticker" plays as LEONARDO DiCAPRIO as he happily gets up and heads towards the stage. The audience applauds and gives him a standing ovation as he approaches the stage.)

ANNOUNCER
This is Leonardo DiCaprio's first win, including nominations tonight as apart of the Casting Ensemble and Best Picture for "The Wolf of Wall Street", he's been nominated five times, nominated twice last year for the Casting Ensemble and for Best Supporting Actor for "Django Unchained".

(Leonardo and Marion embrace as she gives him his award. He then turns towards the audience, who's still standing. He mouths "Thank you", quietly, but then humbly walks off, exiting stage right.)

ANNOUNCER
To announce the OYL Award for Best Director, a 2-time OYL Award winner last year for Best Picture and Best Director, for "Life of Pi", Ang Lee!

(ANG LEE enters stage right and approaches the podium, to a rousing ovation, they remain standing for Ang until eventually they sit down as he awaits at the podium.)

ANG
I-eh, thought of bringing out a thing of wine let George did last year and toast to the nominees and winners, but I don't think I can pull that off as well as he could.

(Slight pause)

So, let's just get to it, here are the ten amazingly talented nominees for Best Director:


BEST DIRECTOR
Ethan Coen & Joel Coen-"Inside Llewyn Davis"
Alfonso Cuaron-"Gravity"
Ron Howard-"Rush"
Spike Jonze-"Her"
Abdellatif Kechiche-"Blue is the Warmest Color"
Richard Linklater-"Before Midnight"
Steve McQueen-"12 Years a Slave"
David O. Russell-"American Hustle"
Martin Scorsese-"The Wolf of Wall Street"
Zhangke Jia-"A Touch of Sin"

and the OYL Award goes to...
(Opens envelope, sudden pause)

Oh, hold on, we have a tie. 

(Audience gasps, murmurs about under the audiences' breath)

How do we do this, both at once, or,-
(Pause, looking off-stage, listening to instructions)
Okay, the first winner is ALFONSO CUARON for "Gravity" 



(Audience applauds, albeit nervously, as ALFONSO CUARON gets up and makes his way towards the stage as Steven Price's "Gravity (Main Theme)" plays.

ANNOUNCER
This is Alfonso Cuaron's first win. He's also nominated tonight, for Best Editing, Best Original Screenplay and for Best Picture all for "Gravity"!

(Alfonso meets Ang on stage. Ang congratulates Alfonso as he hands him the OYL. He then turns towards the audience but then steps back after a moment of applause as Ang goes back to the podium.

ANG
The second winner is,
MARTIN SCORSESE for "The Wolf of Wall Street"!



(7Horse's "Meth Lab Zoso Sticker" plays as MARTIN SCORSESE, happily gets up to a loud ovation from a still stunned crowd and heads towards the stage)

ANNOUNCER
This is Martin Scosese's first OYL Award. Counting his nomination tonight for Best Picture for "The Wolf of Wall Street", he's been nominated for four OYL Awards. He was previously nominated for Best Picture and Best Director for "Hugo"! This is only the 3rd tie in the history of the OYL Awards!

(Martin goes up and talks with Ang, who congratulates him and hands him his OYL. He then turns towards the audience, who's giving him a standing ovation. Then Alfonso joins Martin at the front of the stage, making the applause louder. Martin tries to get Ang to join them up there, which he does reluctantly for a second as the audience cheers all three directors on the stage, before all three of them eventually exit stage right, happily. The audience is still a sputter when they die down as Sarah goes back on stage.)

SARAH
Wow, that was amazing wasn't it? Man, that's hard to top. I have to introduce Brad Pitt now, and I had a joke about how great it is (BLEEP)ing Angelina Jolie with or without her (BLEEP), but- it seems wildly inappropriate now.

(Some laughter from audience)

You know, it was gonna be detailed, and go into-
(Motion like she was about to make a crude sexual gesture, but decides against it.)
Yeah, nevermind that. Anyway, to announce the final category, Best Picture, a-now 3-time OYL Award winner, having won his third earlier tonight as apart of the Casting Ensemble for "12 Years a Slave", he also won Best Supporting Actor and Best Picture for "The Tree of Life", ladies and gentlemen, Brad Pitt!

(Brad Pitt enters stage left to a large ovation as he approaches the podium. A few people start to stand, but he motions for them to sit back down. They actually do, surprisingly enough)

BRAD
Alright. it's been a great night, last one Everybody.
(Holds up envelope, flicks it to show it's real)
As always there are ten nominees for Best Picture, and here are the nominees...


BEST PICTURE
American Hustle-Producers: Megan Ellison, Jonathan Gordon, Charles Rovan and Richard Suckle
Before Midnight-Producers: Christos V. Konstakopoulos, Richard Linklater and Sara Woodhatch
Blue is the Warmest Color-Producers: Laurence Clerc, Abdellatif Kechiche and Vincent Maraval
Gravity-Producers: Alfonso Cuaron and David Heyman
Her-Producers: Megan Ellison, Spike Jonze and Vincent Landay
Inside Llewyn Davis-Producers: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen and Scott Rudin
Rush-Producers: Andrew Eaten, Eric Fellner, Brian Grazer, Ron Howard, Peter Morgan and Brian Oliver
A Touch of Sin-Producer: Shozo Ichiyama
What Maisie Knew-Producer: Daniel Crown, Daniela Taplan Lundberg, William Teitler and Charles Weinstock
The Wolf of Wall Street-Producer: Riza Azi, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joey MacFarland, Martin Scorsese and Emma Tillinger Koskoff

(Drumroll begins after applause ends)

And One-Year-Later Award for Best Picture, goes to...

(Opens envelope, pause before speaking)

"BEFORE MIDNIGHT"!




(Drumroll ends, Graham Reynolds's "The Best Summer of My Life" plays as Richard Linklater's mouth is dropped open. The audience is applauding but still in a slight state of surprise, like "Wow, they really did that?" moment. Linklater, CHRISTOS V. KONSTAKOPOULOS and SARA WOODHATCH stand up and finally head towards the stage)

ANNOUNCER
This is Richard Linklater's 2nd win tonight, and the first wins and nominations for Christos V. Konstakopouls and Sara Woodhatch.

(There's a standing ovation as the group from of "Before Midnight" goes on stage. Brad gives Richard, Chris and Sara their OYL Awards, Richard's holding both his awards now. After a moment everybody exits stage left. Sarah goes back onstage.)

Congratulations to all the winners folks, the rest of you, better luck next year,- which is really this year, isn't it?
(Shrugs)
Alright goodnight folks. Happy New Year Everybody!

(Closing music plays, credits start to roll, showing highlights of the night)

ANNOUNCER
(During credits)
All vote tabulations are done by the in-house accountants at "David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews". The results of those tabulations are kept secret until the envelopes are opened on the night of the Awards.
(Pause)
Some departing nominees will receive consolation prizes provided by...

(Commercials for ACT mouthwash, Netflix, Hulu, The Olive Garden, Station Casinos, Victoria's Secret, Cinemark Theaters, and Napa Auto Parts)

Additional gift basket items provided by USA Network. Sorry about that, but we had to get rid of these "Silk Stalkings" DVDs somehow.

LAWYER'S NOTE: "David Baruffi's Entertainments Views & Reviews" denies all existence and knowledge of the One-Year-Later Awards, and disputes any/all claims of certain bribery, blackmail, racketeering, kidnapping, cyberterroristic threats, overdue jaywalking tickets, sodomy, and airplane hijackings in regards to the awards themselves, and any subsequent parallel activities, potentially regard but not limited to activities involving, sponsors or potential sponsors, publishers, producers, studio executives, potential Presidential candidates, CEOs of noted golf club manufacturers or chain supermarkets stores in the Northwest, none of which occurred, and none of which occurred, and were involved with the One-Year-Laters Awards and any potential existence of them, which they deny. All celebrities appearance at the awards are fictitious, as well, and we dispute everything Whitney Cummings claimed Sarah Silverman did to her in order to prevent her from hosting, and David Baruffi's Entertainment Views & Reviews" does not endorse torture in order to get hosting gigs or get celebrities to appear."

The OYL Awards is a "David Baruffi's Entertainment Views and Reviews" producion.
In association with Midnight Green Studios.



IN MEMORIAM

Malik Bendjelloul  (1977-2014)
OYL AWARD NOMINEE-Best Documentary-"Searching for Sugar Man"


Philip Seymour Hoffman (1967-2014)
OYL AWARD NOMINEE-Best Supporting Actor-"The Master"


Gil Friesen (1937-2012)
OYL AWARD WINNER-Best Documentary-"20 Feet from Stardom"
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